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Yuhooo ........anyone see self-worth? Can't find it.
February 14, 2004
2:33 pm
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September 24, 2010
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I know my title suggests some humor. Amazing, because I'm feeling anything but!
Dr Phil(eh, what can I tell ya, the guy makes sense)often says "don't confuse body image with self worth and yet I don't know how you can't.
Huge topic for me and I will try to be brief. I've been really struggling with the self-worth thing for a life time. I have carried extra weight just as long. I'm considered by many as 'sensual, and pretty as far as my appearance goes; however, I find I don't live in a 'fat friendly' society.
I think men will go to someone, ugly, stupid, plastic, etc. as long as they have the body beautiful.
I find it very difficult to go out with cofidence in my size 18 body and feel equal. As a result I often settle for being chosen as opposed to choosing.
Let the diaglogue begin.

February 14, 2004
3:03 pm
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Forum Posts: -1
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September 29, 2010
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I too am dealing with a lot of self-worth issues. I know some of them are weight-related, but a lot of them are not. I can't blame my low self-worth completely on my weight. I am larger than size-18 and for myself, I have had to face the reality that there are people in this world that will judge me on how I look. It's just a fact. I can't change them, so I try to ignore them. I figure if someone is open-minded enough to give me a shot and engage in conversation and really get to know me, they'll see I am a person with good values and a good head on my shoulders. At the same time, as much as I remind myself of this, it still hurts to be rejected by someone based soley on my size. It still hurts when I hear a rude comment. It digs at that self-confidence I am trying to build and sometimes it can even throw me into a depression. I have to work hard to talk myself out of it and fortunately I do have a husband that is supportive and tries to remind me that he finds me beautiful. But I know I can't rely on him to give me my self-worth. I have to rely on myself and it definitely is a process. I'm no expert, but I can empathize, I think, with how you are feeling. You aren't alone.

February 14, 2004
7:51 pm
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
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themis and others: If you want information about fatphobia and accepting yourself please go to amazon.com and purchase Fat!So? It has given me and many others a new lease on life. If any of you want to find cool folks to chat with or more information on how to come to terms and deal with the rediculous amount of shame that is heaped on fat people chat with any of the ladies at chunckygirlsarehot.com
It should hurt to be rejected solely on ones size because that is a lame bigoted reason to judge someone unworthy of respectful behavior. Please look at the book...it might provide you with just the ammo you need. I so empathise with where you are coming from. We do live in a very sick society, I am somewhere between a junior size 13 and a women's size 16, and when I attended a fat phobia event I looked freak'n skinny, nonetheless I am considered by the American Medical Association to be grossly obease and qualify for weightloss medication. I experience the same discomfort at going out in public as you themis. It is sick that I am labled this way, it is sick that you have been made to feel like your size is a reflection of anything. We are living in times not much more evolved than back in the witch burning days. Discrimination based on assumptions about what it 'means' to be fat are just as unjustified as discrimination based on the socially constructed ideas of race or sex. I don't think that we are sick because we are filled with shame about this, it is being shoveled down our thoats at every turn. I went into a major chain bookstoore recently and there were displays of diet books and Dr. Phil everywhere. Dr. Phil can suck my D***! Mainstream is not healthy no matter how attractive Oprah makes it. He is still just as sexist as most other folks in this society. Sexism, racism, fatphobia, homophobia, unjustified bigotry is at the heart of it all. Pick up some Marilyn Wann and rejuvinate hope and confidence in yourself. I am pretty sure that body image and self worth go hand in hand I think that it is a false dichotomy to argue that they can be separated. I can see how he might think that though given his new found fame accords him expensive diet food delivered at a whim and a personal trainer. Profits only get bigger with weightloss, think about how popular oprah get when she looses some... You are normal to be sickened by that. Peace.

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