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You marry your mother EMOTIONALLY
May 21, 2005
9:54 am
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garfield9547
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I think that you marry somebody that is emotionally the same as your mother. That is how we have been trained and brainwashed. Think of people you know in your family. Brothers, sister, friends etc. If you know there mothers can you see a resemblance? Or am I blind.

May 21, 2005
10:11 am
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exoticflower
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MMmmm Hmmm, it's all becoming clear to me now...

May 21, 2005
10:28 am
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garfield9547
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Exoticflower
Glad to hear that.

May 21, 2005
5:27 pm
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garfield9547
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Exotic flower

What made you say this???

May 21, 2005
6:18 pm
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exoticflower
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Oh, my stepmother was really evil but completely unaware of it--sometimes I make the association with powerless sensation I get in my relationships and the way I felt growing up, but I never thought that it is because I seek out or feel comfortable with people who do the same things unawarely to take the emphasis off of their own emotional problems...yippie for mini breakthroughs(though that one doesn't seem so small re-reading it)!

May 21, 2005
7:59 pm
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exoticflower
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Why, was there something wrong?

May 22, 2005
11:51 am
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garfield9547
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No I was just interested in what you had to say. I have realized that you do look for people and marry somebody that is emotionally the same as your mother. I have done that if I look at my mother and my husband has done that if we look at my mother in law.

May 22, 2005
12:02 pm
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angel4U
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fyi - I have found that sometimes the people you are attracted to are similar to your Dad, too. I have had both happen. Maybe because I had issues to resolve within myself to work out with both parents, so I have found men that have characteristics of each (usually not in the same man though).

It could also be as simple as "we are attracted to, can relate to what we are used to"?

May 22, 2005
12:13 pm
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exoticflower
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"we are attracted to, can relate to what we are used to"?

Angel, spot on. That's sort of what I was thinking about. Not only in the negative either, I like people with the same sense of humor, cultural convictions, etc. from both too.

May 22, 2005
3:13 pm
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jamaicanwife
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I can tell you what my counsellor told me, and it really struck a deep chord with me; I recreate situations in which I felt powerless, hoping that I will be able to finally get some control.

Mother or father, makes no difference, the situation is the key.

May 23, 2005
3:15 pm
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kathygy
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I tend to get attracted to men that remind me of my father. It is not always the mother. Sometimes it can be a combination of both parents.

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