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You can't play a player.
March 11, 2007
3:51 pm
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Anonymous
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So I haven't been on here in forever, but I had a situation I wanted some input on.

So I just got out of a relationship of a year about 8 months ago. Been having fun, playing around, dating tons of dudes, not really caring about a whole lot or them. So I met back up with this guy I had known before and we ended up hooking up and stuff. He continually calls me a player and states that he isn't into chasing girls and all that. We all went out last friday and he ended up talking to my friend saying if I pay more attention to her and I really get into her, (meaning me), she won't like me anymore.

I tried to talk to him about it and he just said let's just go with the flow. I asked him to dinner tonight and he replies with, maybe, I am super busy tonight and then stated it sounded like I had fun last night at the concert I went to.

Here is my question. I don't want to get played. He always is saying I'm the player. Is he projecting? And if he is really playing some game with me, am I really going to get played?

I actually kinda like him enough to stand still with him and not need to rush off and go out with other dudes, but I also think since he travels a lot for work he just isn't looking for anything. I have tried to talk to him about it and he continues to say how am I suppose to act you're a player.

HOnestly he is right in some sense, but can you really get rid of the "player" persona when he actually like the person?

March 11, 2007
3:54 pm
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Anonymous
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I meant to say when you actually like the person.

March 12, 2007
6:06 pm
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revelation
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Aces...hi hun! Nice to have you back!!!

Well, you probably are not going to like my answer. To be honest, really and truly, whether you or he is a player or not is really irrelevent here...whether he believes you are or not and whether you believe you are or not a player is also irrelevent...for whatever reason, thats what he's called you...it has shaken your self worth in some way and its put doubts in your head....The messages you are getting from him are not clear...they sound vague and cryptic, being totally honest this would be a major red-flag for me..And I spotted a few.

1. At this early stage it should be YOU he's talking to about how he feels if anyone...NOT your friend...c'mon, you are not teenagers here ace's!!

2. Fair enough if he wants to "go with the flow" I'm a "go with the flow" type of girl myself, but he should have left it at that, all of this shenanigans about him saying you are a player etc...it all sounds EXTREMELY immature...DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA!!!

I'd leave him to it Ace's to be quite honest!

Nobody can tell you whats going on in his head or for what reason he's calling you a player and nobody can predict how this is going to pan out!

You either do as he says and "go with the flow"...although he seems to be contradicting himself on that one by then halting the "flow" by calling you a player...does he even know the meaning of the phrase?? Or else you leave him and move on to someone a little bit more straightforward.

Rev.

March 16, 2007
5:20 pm
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Anonymous
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Hey there Rev, long time no talk. You are right, come to find out that he really is just looking for someone to have fun with and not have to worry about anything and while I am definitley that girl with some guys, I liked him and am not going to settle for that. So I will be his friend but nothing more.

At least I can have that much self worth for myself : ) .

I have missed chatting with you. How are you dear friend?

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