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Y'all aren't gonna believe this.....
November 13, 2004
1:55 pm
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readyforachange
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My lawyer calls yesterday and tells me that my husband FINALLY hired a lawyer to respond to the divorce papers I filed 3 weeks ago. His lawyer called my lawyer and told him that he still loves me and thinks we can go to counseling and work this out. He said he was a good dad who goes to church and only drinks a little at his kids ball games, and that if that were grounds for divorce, everyone would be divorced. He never goes to church, and they must be playing ball games in my basement because that's where most of the drinking happens. After he threatened me, broke the front door down, destroyed things belonging to me, and has embarrased himself and our family at NUMEROUS social events by drinking so much...he just expects me to forgive and forget. He's going to honor the restraining order without pleading guilty to it so that we won't have to testify in front of a judge. I found out that he had gotten into my car and erased some audio tapes I had made the last time he was threatening me. And I'm supposed to roll over and play dead. Unbelievable.

November 13, 2004
3:02 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Naw, don't roll over. Abuse will escalate if you let it.

November 13, 2004
3:03 pm
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Zinnie
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Any time you have tapes like that, put them in a safety deposit box.

As WD says... don't roll over - he is expecting you to do so.

November 13, 2004
5:55 pm
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Molly
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Do not buy into this, or back down. you do it once, you will never get back credibility with him, he will figure he has worked you , and do it over and over and over again

November 13, 2004
7:02 pm
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readyforachange
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Thanks, all. I just can't believe how much nerve he has. My sister in law just called me, and she mentioned that my picture is no longer on the "wall of fame" where all of the family brides' pictures hang. Why this bothers me, I don't know. I guess I'm just hurt. I feel like calling my mother in law and asking for my picture! Then I'd like to fill her in on a few things that her son has been doing lately....but I know I won't do that. If I can just stay mad, I'll get through this. There's no way I'll back down now, I'm just too pissed off!

November 13, 2004
7:23 pm
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Zinnie
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So they took your picture down? Well, you can always rehang theirs - on a dart board.

Good point Lisset!

November 13, 2004
8:49 pm
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on my way
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So he is lying. Divorces can get ugly, but make sure your attorney knows absoultely EVERYTHING, ok?...Even about the audio tapes. Stand your ground, and hopefully it will be over soon.

November 14, 2004
9:24 am
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readyforachange
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I have told my lawyer everything, which was really hard for me. That, I think, was the hardest part of all of this - just admitting to people what I have been going through. I felt stupid and weak for allowing this all to happen to me.

And no, he was not drunk when he said all of that stuff to his lawyer I assume, but he is an accomplished liar. He was drunk when he was so verbally abusive I turned the tape recorder on. He later seemed very concerned about those tapes, and I should have put them in the safe deposit box. My lawyer says not to worry about it, that we don't really need the tapes since he's gone off the deep end since the papers were filed and broke into the house after leaving and giving me his key.

Making their picture into a dartboard? Not a bad idea. I guess it just bothers me because my husband is living with them, and my kids will be visiting him there and will see this blank space on the wall, which will hurt them. They have enough to deal with right now.

Here's a good one for you...my husband has one married brother. His wife just filed for divorce, too. And my husband and his brother are using the same attorney! They've convinced this poor guy that they are just everyday, ordinary dads who like to have a few beers! Better than a soap opera.

By the way, the title of this thread comes from a joke my son told me: What's the difference between a fairy tale in the north, and a fairy tale in the south? A fairy tale in the north starts with "Once upon a time"; a fairy tale in the south starts with, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this"... My mom is from Arkansas - a good southern belle - she got a kick out of that one.

November 14, 2004
10:11 am
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Zinnie
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Well, the reason I KNEW this was not a fairy tale was because you used the word "aren't"...

I have heard that one too, after all I am the Los Angeles chick married to the Texas.

and just so you know... you might be...

if your hairdo has ever been caught in the ceiling fan at the Do Drop Inn.

Pass me the Pabst.

November 15, 2004
3:33 am
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samrhimom
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Readyforachange...How long have you been married? I will be thinking of you and wishing you many good thoughts as you are going through all of this. I really admire your courage and your strength.

November 15, 2004
7:18 am
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readyforachange
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sam....

I've been married for 17 years, and have two children: a son who is 14 and a daughter who is 11. Today I go to court for the hearing about the restraining order. Thanks for the good wishes. I'll need them.

November 15, 2004
7:31 am
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samrhimom
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Good luck....Do you have someone that is going with you for moral support? I have my fingers crossed and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I really do admire you.

November 15, 2004
7:30 pm
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readyforachange
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Thanks...no, I had my mother and a few friends offer to go with me, but I opted to go alone. It went okay. I didn't have to appear before the judge or testify because he did not contest the restraining order. They automatically started child support payments, and we worked out custody arrangements through 2004. I didn't even have to see him. My lawyer put me in a room at the courthouse, and he and the other lawyer ran back and forth between us until they came up with something we could agree on. He actually had the nerve to ask that they put an order that banned me from having male visitors at my house! His lawyer told him to forget that...but my lawyer told me that he had asked for it. He wrote me a check for child support on the spot. He's only allowed to contact me through e-mail. I told my kids about the custody arrangements, and they aren't too happy about it. I told them it was what the judge had ordered, and that they needed to spend time with their dad. Thanks to all for listening and supporting me....I couldn't have done it without you!

ready

November 15, 2004
8:57 pm
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Anonymous
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((((((((ready)))))))))

Thinking of you,

Sunny

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