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Y2K Resolutions? Q of the week
January 3, 2000
11:12 am
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Welcome to the New Year!

Why do we make resolutions? My thinking, is that it's a tradition we have that is backed by the
"fresh-start-mentality" of the New Year.

I think it's a good tradition. It can be a motivator for each of us to look at a problem, and seek a
realistic solution (by ourselves, and for ourselves).

Would anyone like to share theirs? ...if you don't have any yet, would you like to now?

January 3, 2000
3:13 pm
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eve
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sc,
question of the week.
I agree that making resolutions can really help to motivate us. And surely the new year is a time of new beginnings anyway.

It's just that I had this bad experiences with my ex. He often made a resolutions with high goals, only to steer deeper into depression when he couldn't fulfill his own resolutions. This made me weary of resolutions in spite of the fact that resolutions seem to work pretty well for me. But I'm very careful in choosing my resolutions, sometimes too careful. Who knows what else I could acchieve?

One of my new year resolutions is to make some plans for my future, something I normally avoid.

January 3, 2000
3:29 pm
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eve,

some people do set high goals...usually knowing all the while that they cannot follow through...some people seek self-defeat, do you think he may have?

- SC

January 3, 2000
3:38 pm
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eve
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I think he was doing what he learned at home, mainly from his mom: feeling bad was something that got him a lot of emotional support while feeling good wasn't. Maybe his mom also gave him a feeling that being a sucessful male was somthing that she wold be quite afraid of. Yes, I think that he was doing self-sabotage. But he is much better now, he went on a quest to find his father who left 15 years ago without leaving an adress (no wonder his mom had reservations about men doing what they want), found a job to get money for university...
I haven't heard of him for some time now, but I think he is well.

January 3, 2000
3:48 pm
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SC

My resolution is to get over Brian and on with my life...somehow.

Toby

January 3, 2000
3:59 pm
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Toby,

It's tough...even more so because he had become imbedded in your life-such a big part.

tip: when we stop one thing, we need to replace it with something else...

do you have plans to help equal out this equation?

- SC

January 3, 2000
4:34 pm
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SC

I have no plans to replace the emptiness in my life. I'll just keep working hard and taking care of my children. I was not prepared for this and just trying to deal with it is too hard to think ahead.

Toby

January 4, 2000
10:34 pm
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Y2K Resolutions...okay.

Here goes...

To focus more on ME and not obsess on my husband...to let go and let God be in control.

To appreciate each day...and find the beauty of it and thank God each night as I turn in for the night...

And to love...unconditionally...

January 5, 2000
10:04 am
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Hi all,
My resolution?
To try to go out alone more and beat my agoraphobia.

Toby, im glad you are trying to move on. I read you thread and for what it is worth I think Brian was just too immature for you, I don't think I can condemn him for that because we all mature at our own rate, but i think we do all chage alot from out early twenties to our late twenties. I have change SO MUCH in just the last three years so I know how important these years can be.

You are the important one now and your kids. You have to to give for it to be wasted on someone who isnt ready for it. There are many people out there at the same life stage as you, you need some one who is at the same place in their life as you are in yours, then you could experience what life has together and not find yourself having to show someone else the way while you walk alone, does that make any sense?
Anyway peace to you and yours.

Bel, how are you? how are your family doing?

Hey KThomas, do you have Bluejays where you live? I saw them in canada they are truely beautiful. I have always wanted to see one sice i was a girl and in october i did. We don't have them in britain, so next time you see one, look at it for me and see its beauty. You are so right there are so many beautiful things to see in the world and focus on. You are one of them so are the Bluejays, so feed them for me!!! and take care

Eve, look to the future and let us know what you plan, we are in a new century, we can all change and grow.
Peace to you all

Hazza

January 5, 2000
2:59 pm
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eve
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Hazza, thanks for your good wishes. Well, my plan really is to do some planning. Sounds weird? Well... do you remember as a kid we believed that wishes only come true when you don't tell them to anybody? - at least that's what I believed. Sometimes I think I went one step further: I didn't / don't tell my wishes to myself in order not to be disappointed - I'm superstitious in that respect. And I do know that this is silly, but old habits die hard. And while I'm pretty good at living in the instant and realizing all the little and big bits and pieces of luck and joy that come my way, sometimes some forward planning would certainly help to get "my way" into shape. I'll try 🙂

Eve

January 6, 2000
9:34 pm
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all,

just had an insight of my own...

the only way to get things done, is to DO THEM.

we psych ourselves out of things, procrastinate, make excuses, find obstacles.

and if we fail? we learned, and we lived.

- SC

January 6, 2000
10:45 pm
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Hazza...yes I do have Bluejays here in Northern California. And they are beautiful. Every year we string popcorn and cranberries to decorate our Christmas tree with. We just took the tree down this weekend and we take the strands of popcorn and cranberries and put them outside in the trees for the birds to snack on. They love it. So here is to you Hazza...

Thank you for your kind words. You are pretty special yourself.

Karin

January 7, 2000
10:26 am
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New year resolution? Yes, I have got some,& in fact still in process.

1. Keep on exercising.( have been doing it since last October)
2.Help my daughter in her study. ( engaged a tuitor for her and teaching her myself )
3. Focus more on myself then on my husband.

many more to go..............................
Resolution, resolution...challenge the future, challenge the future.............................................
Be possitive,be possitive.................
Looks like a slogan, not a resolution.HEE HEE HEE

January 7, 2000
1:38 pm
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bel
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Hello Hazza and All,

My stepfather is hanging in there, he was transferred to a Nursing Home. So we take things one day at a time.

I have not made any New Year Resolution because I know I won't keep them!...

Nice to be here though and get support when I need it.

Take Care
Always
Bel

January 8, 2000
5:44 am
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hazza
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Hey all,
Eve, try not to be so superstitious. I know it is hard, but it limits your happiness when you worry that bad things will happen if yo7u do this or you do that. It is a form of OCD (obsessive compulsive dissorder) and anxiety problems. Albeit a mild form that most of us have. Try not to allow yourself to think this way, I bet you could tell me one of your wishes for the future and you could still make it happen, telling me or telling yourself your feelings and desires will NOT JINX THEM!

Karin, you lucky thing, I would love to have blue jays in my garden. We have the British jay in my garden, it is different to yours, brown with only blue on the wing. I am totally obsessed with these birds i must admit, having seen a picture of them in a book as a child I am so glad that I got to see one in real life.
I flew to canada with major panic attacks, relationship problems basically a mess ( also had an operation the day before) just on the hope of seeing these birds, so you can see how much i wanted to the see them. I also saw a Northern Cardinal, another beautiful bird, it was great because i didn't expect to see them, it was like buy a bluejay get a cardinal free! I love special offers.
Here's to the beauty of nature.

Hey lost soul, keep in there, work that body and that mind, you are doing great, see how more positive you are sounding these days?

Bel, I am glad things are at least stable for you and your step father.
My grandmother is also in a nursing home, in some ways it is sad, but she is cared for and she is happy there, I hope i have the same at her age. Best wishes for you for 2000

Hazza

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