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Wow.. things are falling apart - Shaney
February 22, 2007
4:53 pm
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Shaney
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Hey there peeps...

Most of you know I've been busy for the past month and a half, packing, moving, unpacking, changing all utilities, lining cupboards, changing my hours at work to accomodate my new commute.... anyway, last night was our first night that we made dinner, relaxed and watched a movie in our new home. Not actually our NEW home that we bought, but a rental that we LOVE in a new town. Everything was perfect last night because we're finally settled in, and we're both so thrilled and excited about this new start.

Well, M just called me from work, and apparently the fucking idiot who begged us to sell him our home, (illegally) didn't divulge that his purchase was based on the sell of HIS home.... so a week after begging for an extention to close his escrow, he's cancelled the sale.

Yep, this SURE THING has fallen apart. Our home has fallen out of escrow, and we can't possibly afford both homes, so it looks like we have to pack up our happy home and move back before the first of the month, when our rent and our mortgage is due. Fuck.

I'm sitting here in a state of absolute shock. I know that all I realistically have to do, is pack up and move back, but I know this is going to push M over the edge. Work and the house sale has really taken it's toll on him. In fact he broke down on Valentines Day, stating that he doesn't think he can take one more thing. Now this. I'm not sure what to do.... about any of it. I'm pretty numb right now.

I'm sitting here at my desk staring, when my phone rings. I let the machine answer. It's the gynocologist... needing to speak with me about my test results from my pap. Fucking great.. now what?

Anyway, I need some support. Say anything, just make me feel better.

Shaney

February 22, 2007
4:56 pm
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bevdee
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(((Shaney))) I'm sorry. That all just sucks. I wish you all the best?

Bevdee

February 22, 2007
4:58 pm
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armyleo
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(((Shaney)))

Oh, I'm am so sorry that all this is happening...

I cannot even comprehend how you are feeling...

You always had great words for me...

take it a minute at a time...don't hold it in too much, come write your feelings out...it might help..

February 22, 2007
5:01 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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(((Shaney)))

So sorry for all that you are facing right now...

Mich

February 22, 2007
5:03 pm
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Shaney
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Thanks Bev. I'm so sick to my stomach right now, and I'm waiting for M to call me back. In the middle of telling me all this, he gets a call for a fire, so I dont' know when I'm going to get to talk to him. This was a huge expense to move, and I'm just not sure how we're going to swing the move back. The house we own is just a wreck. The thought of moving back there just sickens me.

At least I have a place to live, right?

February 22, 2007
5:04 pm
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Shaney
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Thanks army. Thanks mich. Once the shock wears off, I'm sure we'll figure something out. Thanks again :o)

February 22, 2007
5:10 pm
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bevdee
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Shaney,

Would it be possible to rent out the house you own? Maybe until you all can sell it. Rent it for enough to cover the mortgage?

February 22, 2007
5:26 pm
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Matteo
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Shaney, I am so sorry, I know how tough it might be. Perhaps trying to rent it would be a good idea, because just thinking about moving - twice a month??? - gives me shivers. Please don't worry how M will react, after all you both are in it together and he shouldn't expect you to protect his feelings around it. I think you have it more tough than he does, considering the task packing and changing everything. Keep strong and remember it will get better, you will get through. As you said, at least you have a place to live - try to see a bigger picture and be optimistic, although not the easiest thing to do right now. Take care about yourself. Lots of supportive hugs to you.

February 22, 2007
5:34 pm
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Shaney
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Yeah, that's possible. I'm just not sure there are too many people out there that want to rent a house that's for sale. It would have to be kept up in order to show, and the tenants would have to be willing to be available to show the house at amoments notice, as well as move out once we sold it. I don't know... isn't that how it would have to work?

Good suggestion bev, I'm just not too UP on how all that works.

I'm just so pissed that the two times (yes, TWO times) that we sold our house, the people ended up being so f'ing shady and dishonest. We're not the litigious types, but there are two real estate agents that shouldn't have a license to practice real estate. They're unethical and have done some very illegal crap that has cost us a shitload of money... we're talking THOUSANDS of dollars. And it's not like we can afford it either.

I know M is going to have a mental breakdown over this. I'm really worried.

February 22, 2007
5:38 pm
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Shaney
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Hey there Matteo - thanks for the advice and the hugs. I can really use both right now. I feel myself getting very depressed, which is not like me. I'm overwhelmed at the thought of what's to come. I know this isn't going to be easy. Thanks all. :o)

February 22, 2007
5:43 pm
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Isis
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Oh Shaney...

I'm sorry that everything sucks right now.

Hang in there girl, this too shall pass.

Much love,

Isis

(((Shaney)))

February 22, 2007
6:01 pm
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bevdee
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Shaney,

I did that once, lived in a house that was for sale. The owners gave me a 24 hour request to show the house. I always agreed.

They only lived a few blocks from me, so they did the lawn, to keep everything nice for people driving by and seeing the For Sale sign.

They wanted someone in the house, because they said it was better to have a property inhabited.

February 22, 2007
6:26 pm
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lollipop3
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Oh (((Shaney))),

I'm sorry this fell through for you again. What a mess!

Renting it sounds like a good idea. Perhaps you can rent it with a one year lease or something and THEN put it back up for sale? That way the person renting won't have to worry that they will have to move on a moments notice?

Just a thought.

I know you are worried about M, but just try not to take his reaction personally. Try to stay calm and hopefully he will take his cues from you.

Good luck my friend,
Lolli

February 22, 2007
6:38 pm
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Anonymous
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((((Shaney)))) Wow! Don't really know what to say...I'm depressed FOR you! That just totally sucks!

There are lots of unethical people in this world...unfortunately, I seem to meet many of them...and it appears that you and M have too. It always feels the same...that kicked in the gut feeling:(

Anyway, hang in there, girlie! You are made of tough stuff, so draw on that as you must. And remember, your friends here at AAC are only a key stroke away!

Love and gentle hugs, Plz~

February 22, 2007
6:40 pm
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2bstrong
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Shaney! I leave you alone with peace and happiness for a few weeks and look what happens! Do I have to watch you every minute?!?

Oh, dear...that is a very sucky thing. I am a Virgo, and I hate when things do work out as planned, or are misrepresented in business deals. It's the bain of my truth seeking existence. I despise it even more when it happens to people that I care about, and that would be you...

I will send you what I sent lolli's way last weekend...complete positive energy and prayers. So many times when we want to put the past to rest, it comes back to bite us in the butt...your home is biting you and M in the butts.

Butts.

Butts.

Butts.

Just remember Shane-Shaney, all will be well. Things happen for a reason and it's not always obvious at the time.

I love you, friend....2b

February 22, 2007
6:41 pm
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2bstrong
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Correction: I am a Virgo, and I hate when things DON'T workout as planned...

February 22, 2007
7:35 pm
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Anonymous
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Hi, Shaney! Another Virgo here so I dont like whats happening to you either. You seem to have things pretty well planned in advance and this is really not what you expected, right? I think once the shock passes, youll find out alternatives to moving. At least, I hope for it. Renting seems like a good option. Some buyers may like the location more than the house but wanna wait till price goes down. Meanwhile you earn some money...

Best of luck and much love to you!

February 22, 2007
7:37 pm
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bevdee
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This is so cute - astrological signs - I am a Gemini- and I try to see how to do both. Duality!!

(((Shaeny)))

February 22, 2007
8:23 pm
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jewel
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Oh my gosh!! I can't believe what happened. That is so ridiculous for someone to do that. That makes me sick. I feel so bad for you. You are such a sweetheart and don't deserve this. I know moving is a bitch. I moved 8 times in the last 7 years so I know how hard that is. I really don't know what to say. I feel bad. You have helped me so much and I can't think of a good solution for you. Sending many hugs to you!!!!!!!!

Jewel

February 22, 2007
9:14 pm
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Shaney
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oooh, hi there Almighty Isis... remember that show on Saturday mornings? Thanks for the support - it means a lot to me.

bev - that will definitely be an option I think. M is stuck at work for the next two days and he's going crazy right now with what's happening here at home. He's going to try and get coverage so he can come home and try to figure out our options. This is stressful, but worst case scenario, is that we'll have to pick up and move back to Woodland Hills. It'll suck, but we'll be okay.

Lolli - can you f'n believe this? Can we get a damn break here?! This has happened TWICE in the last two months and I'm ready to ring some necks, I swear. When I talked to M last on the phone, he had a couple of ideas already, so we'll see. He said that his heart is just breaking over this because we're so happy in this house and he dreads the thought of moving back. We're in a totally different town, and it's just been such a fresh start. We were really happy to have left the crappy friends and the whole seedy valley life. We just feel so good here. Hopefully we can still make it work. Be positive, right?

Hey plz ... yeah, where in the hell do these unscrupulous idiots come from? And why do they want to torture US?! You and I definitely don't deserve it. Anyway, thanks for the thoughts and reminding me of the great frineds I really have here.

2b - lots of love comin' right back atcha, my friend. You turn your back for a second, and BAM, my life takes a turn. I haven't had the time to catch up with everyone, but you're always on my mind just the same. M is a virgo too... wow.... so you can probably understand his intense pain over this :o).

Hey sini ... glad to see you and thanks for popping in. I can always count on you to come out of the woodwork when I need a boost. Thanks, my friend.

hey there jewel :o) - in the midst of your own troubles, thank you for taking the time to give a kind word - it means a lot. I'm sorry I haven't been on too much, but packing and moving consumed all of my time for a while. We'll see what happens now, but thank you again for being here sweetie. Hope you're doing okay.

February 23, 2007
8:35 am
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CAMER
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(((shaney))) hope you are ok....wouldn't all of this be in writing that the new people buying your home needs to sell there home?? that should have been in writing, and not giving you the chaos of moving back, etc and making your life miserable.

I wish you support and lots of ((((Hugs))) during this tough time.

February 23, 2007
9:39 am
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risingfromtheashes
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I like the idea of just renting for a year, then putting it up for sale.

That way you buy some time.

You have my support as always.

February 23, 2007
11:03 am
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Shaney
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Camer - Yes. It should have been in writing, and WOULD have been, if the buyer and the agent were honest enough to disclose this from the beginning. ANY contingency should have been in writing, but they concealed it from the beginning, and all the way through the escrow process until their loan was about to fund - and the lender discovered that the buyer already had another home loan. This is why they are in such BIG trouble. I mean, this is pretty serious - the agent's real estate license is at risk - and M is pissed enough to do something about it (which isn't normally like him)... but this has happened to us TWICE, and something obviously needs to be done about these crooked agents out there. We are out a ton of money because of the move, AND locked into a twelve month lease with our new place. The buyer already owes us the money from the deposit which will buy us about 3-4 months in our new place. That way we can keep paying the mortgage on the old place, while still showing it to sell. If someone wants to buy it, it'll be move-in ready. That was our latest plan, but we'll see. M wants to get rid of the house because the market around here has already gone down significantly. If we would have sold the house a two years ago, when we were first talking about it, we could have gotten about $80,000 more than we can now. So this is a big timing issue too.

Hey rising, buying ourselves time is the main issue right now. And since this was such an obvious scam on the part of the buyer and his agent, we may try to get them to pay off our twelve month lease. Real Estate companies take out huge insurance policies for situations like these and so that may be a possibility. I was so depressed last night when I got home, looking at how happy our dogs were in the new place. They have a nice yard now, where they only had a cement patio before. That's the least of our worries, but it's just so heartbreaking, because we're SO happy in this house and in our new, clean, happy suburb town. Last night M said that we'll figure something out, we always do. He's right. So I'll keep you all updated.

Thanks for the ongoing support guys - love you all toooooo much!

February 23, 2007
11:44 am
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truthBtold
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Shaney,

I am so sorry to hear about all of this crap that is going on with you and M right now.

I think that there maybe some karma going on here as I read this thread ending with risingfromtheashes post today, so I decided to do a little reseach on the web for you to see what recourse you might have....and just now read your post that M is pissed enough to do something about it!!!

Below are some ideas/links that you can try:

Local Better Business Bureau

http://www.yelp.com (geared towards your local city/state including the names of shady real estate firms....evidently there is alot of that going on in Boston.)

http://www.freeadvice.com has a link for Real Estate

http://www.findlaw.com again with a Real Estate link

Local Legal Aid Organization

Also, you just may try to Google key words such as real estate fruad in you state and/or any other specific key words....maybe even check into a possible class action suit if applicable.

I am so glad to hear that AT LEAST you have a 3-4 month window of time in which to try and resolve and recoup some of the monies lost.

Anyway - I know what it is like to feel like the carpet is just being ripped up from under you. (I've been laid off 3 times in the past 10 years while living alone, with less than a week's notice for all 3) Life can feel really "surreal" for a while!

Reading your story reminded me of a parable I heard once. I only remembered a few keys words about it and was surprised to find it right away on the web.....slight variations - but basically the same thought process. It goes like this:

MAYBE

"There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "May Be," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How Wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "May Be," replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "May Be," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

"May be," said the farmer.

((((HUGS))))

February 23, 2007
12:57 pm
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bevdee
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Shaney- just popping my head in to tell you hi and that I am thinking of you.

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