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Wouldn't it be great if lovers could meet on this website?
December 10, 2004
1:45 pm
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artist 2
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Could you imagine... after breaking hearts are opened and healed... your very healer becomes your lifelong partner... wouldn't that be great? This website is ripe for that to happen to some lucky person!

December 10, 2004
1:48 pm
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allwaysconfused
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My problems began when I met someone after talking to them in a chat room.

December 10, 2004
1:50 pm
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willitgetbetter
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I agree because we really do get to know each other here, and i mean deeply. We probably know each other better than our partners or ex partners! It is the perfect opportunity because we are not cloded by cheap things like looks etc. We really do get to know the person. Wonder if you'll get told off by SC for suggesting this!!!!

December 10, 2004
1:50 pm
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CAMER
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it would be great....but the anonymous part of it would never be allowed...but its good to "think" about it!!

December 10, 2004
1:56 pm
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workinonit
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the thinking about it can be alot of fun though!!!!!

December 10, 2004
1:58 pm
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willitgetbetter
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I have certainly fallen in love here!!!!

December 10, 2004
2:08 pm
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dillhile
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Well considering I was somewhat codependent on the last "love" I had becuase of her depression fueled by her horrible previous abusive relationships.... and of course she was and is still to wounded to be with me, so... this website is perfect for me!! I get to satisfy my need try and help solve people's problems, and I still don't walk away with the girl. Not that I would walk away with the girl anyway, since I only fall for the ones that I can't get... It's twisted... I know... but the site is still quite healthy... Any of you broken hearts available! šŸ˜‰

(of course if you are available, then I am not interested, but if not, I am sure to fall fast in love with you)

December 10, 2004
2:14 pm
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workinonit
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I love this part dil! ..(of course if you are available, then I am not interested, but if not, I am sure to fall fast in love with you)

You know, I think seriously, this is the key to a healthy relationship. Keep me guessing and I'll be forever yours. Mystery. Not unfaithfulness or manipulative crap but mystery.

December 10, 2004
2:25 pm
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dillhile
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That's me. (My friends call me Mister Mystery!)

No they dont.

~dill

December 10, 2004
2:30 pm
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Refuse2GiveUp
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Hmm...I feel as though I have a different perspective on this issue. Face-to-face contact is world's apart from what we do on this discussion board.

It is nice to have support online, but I think you have to use caution also. Even though this place is anonymous, I sometimes feel a certain vulnerability when I share my story, and to me it is dangerous.

The reason I say that, is becuase sometimes in this life, we meet people (face-to-face) and grow close with them, and then find out they are not who we think they are. Just think of the level of seperation that exists among us online. It's hard to get to know someone when you only read what they want you to read. We never get to see each other in reality, never see facial expressions, voices, body language--there is so much lacking.

But I believe that there is so much support and alot of caring weaving through this website at the same time. To hear from strangers who really do care (and I know because I feel the compassion that I have to others here) it really makes a difference to how we heal.

I hope no one took this in the wrong way. Sometimes the things I say don't always come out right, but I was trying to say that there are few things out there that can replace face-to-face contact. At the same time, this website can be a huge help when you are in need.

Refusing2GiveUp

December 10, 2004
2:30 pm
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allwaysconfused
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I think we all love what we shouldn't have or can't have.

December 10, 2004
2:41 pm
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esmerelda
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Absolutely not! Think about it. There are reasons why people are discouraged from creating romances in recovery groups...and this is not just to be mean. A "romance" could be based on another need besides love. When you are discussing issues, you are making yourself vulnerable. It is MUCH better to remain anonymous. That is my opinion.

December 10, 2004
2:42 pm
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dillhile
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Oh, by the way... that reminds me, I am on match.com. Of course, I am not telling you my handle, but hey, if you are looking for me, I am out there! (And I will do my best to respond, if I am not too scared or feeling too bad about myself)

^_^

~dill

PS Does anyone know a good forum for building courage and self-esteem?

December 10, 2004
2:47 pm
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dillhile
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esmerelda,

I think artist realizes your point, which is why she says IF. I think that it would be great to meet some of the people FROM this forum (unknowingly), based on the type of people who come here. However, I think it could be very destructive to meet someone ON this forum. Make sense?

~dill

December 10, 2004
2:49 pm
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CAMER
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dill....yes...face your fears and think of all the good qualities that you do hold for yourself and stand tall and stand proud!!!! thats a good start for courage and self esteem. I read in a book on courage is to face what you fear and do this once a day, anything that you don't want to do, just do it and see what happens...then you get to face what you may have been afraid of. Hope this helped a 'lil.

December 10, 2004
2:55 pm
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dillhile
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CAMER,

I sure am trying! That is why I came here... I have been so honest here, mostly too myself in my own mind as I write my replies. I figure if I can start being honest to myself about the things that hold me back, then maybe I will get over them.

~dill

December 10, 2004
3:16 pm
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workinonit
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I find this forum is better than journaling sometimes. I can get my feelings written down and out of my festering head! and have feedback. What more could you ask for?

Hey, match.com huh! šŸ˜‰

December 10, 2004
3:34 pm
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silence
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Not really. Because if anyone ever broke up... shit-storm like you wouldn't believe. you think the fights are bad now?

December 10, 2004
3:41 pm
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workinonit
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silence, you are like one of those old comedy shows where the person comes out of no where, delivers the joke and runs off stage!! LOL

You always make me laugh.

December 10, 2004
6:01 pm
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Anonymous
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OMG- Silence you are so right, that is hilarious, it would be a cat fight for sure worse than anything now. GOod point, but I think that if we were to really meet in person or fall in love and so forth a lot of the ability to talk about things so freely would be gone. But there are people i too have fallen in love with. (so to speak)

December 10, 2004
6:05 pm
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november
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i agree silence. lol.. i agree wiht esmerelda too. we all have issues we are trying to get help and support, it would limit our clarity for sure and honesty as well. to me anyway. but arts did say "if". so for those that want to dream dream on

December 10, 2004
6:35 pm
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sewunique
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I agree. We can dream on. If fantasys came true, then that would be a different matter. Besides, any notion of this subect getting anywhere is about nil, as what the purpose being here is all about. Who would want to write anything that is personal here for the entire world to view? Egads, that is like everyone listening to your private conversations!

December 10, 2004
6:43 pm
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southgoingzax
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hey dill,

I read or heard somewhere that you can't "build up" confidence or strength in the way I think you mean...I think it takes just "doing" it. The very act of facing your fears and acting, regardless of the positive or negative outcome, is the only thing that "grows" confidence. Does that make sense? Even situations that don't have the desired outcome reinforces that you can face these fears or challenges and survive, which gives you the strength to try again.

December 10, 2004
6:47 pm
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Worried_Dad
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If I were lovers with someone who visits this site then I couldn't use this site as a place to confidentially talk about difficulties with my lover.

December 10, 2004
7:05 pm
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sewunique
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Touche' WD!

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