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working my recovery
February 1, 2005
6:09 pm
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balancesekr
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September 27, 2010
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Hi everyone, I just wanted to post some progress, that is what we are striving for. I told the new guy that I needed some time to sort things out for myself, grieve, and heal the best I can from my past relationship. I am having a tough time a little, I thought about the new guy a lot today, we are friends still, he is very understanding about this.

I thought about my ex too... and my thoughts also go to the fact that I want a healthy, stable relationship. I just want to know I can have that with someone. I don't know why it seems so impossible. I guess I view life as very complicated and I just don't know if I would make it being married.

This may sound rediculous but today I thought about what marrying my new guy would be like. Why am I thinking this while I am taking my time away? Maybe because I know I really like him, but he is 9 years younger and that makes me think fearful thoughts. I start to think that he will wish he was free from me if we got married, in 10 years he would feel like he cashed his chips in too soon. Nice thoughts right!

Maybe it is crazy of me to even think of this stuff. I just wonder when will a relationship feel comfortable and if I do want to get married I can ask for that and get it if that's what I want. But then you have to worry about the other persons needs and wants- so complicated.

For now, I am focusing on my schoolwork, continuing therapy, staying friends with the new guy and telling myself that some day the work I am putting in right now will do me good in the future.

February 1, 2005
6:15 pm
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Phalic_Liberator
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It looks like you're on the right path to me. You might pay a little less attention to things you fear and focus it on achieving the best possible outcome though. Just a thought.

February 1, 2005
8:11 pm
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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hi Balance, you are not alone!!! i too think about how things would be being married to someone I am with, then thinking will it work....etc...blah blah, and so much swirls thru my mind...this is just a re occuring tape that goes thru my head, and I sometimes need to slow it down. Take things day by day!!! and its good to focus on school and therapy, and still having your "friend" in your life, things will happen as they do, and things will go good for you. Just know you are not alone!!!! ((camer)))

February 3, 2005
11:51 pm
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balancesekr
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September 27, 2010
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Hi PL and Camer, I like that idea of focusing on the best possible outcome, what a switch that would be! I feel like writing that out, making a poster and hanging that sucker up in my apartment!
Day by day, I am truly trying hard, thanks for your support. I went to therapy again today, yaye, three weeks in a row without me cancelling.

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