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Wondering123 ... in reply to you
February 22, 2006
11:46 pm
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September 24, 2010
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Hi Wondering123,

This is my thread for you in reply to your posts on the Ask anything aout the Bible thread.

I think you've answered your own question as to what to do. You say he's toxic for you and he cheats on you. You threw him out two years ago, and only want him back because of your own pain.

You are in the same boat that many others on this site are/have been in. I advise you to get away from him, and stay away from him.

You have good instincts, about attending CoDA meetings and learning how to live without a relationship if need be. I advise you to learn how to love yourself and set your own boundaries, and give yourself a break from a relationship for a while. Yes, it may hurt, but it hurts a lot less than getting entangled again with someone who uses you and doesn't love you as you deserve to be loved.

If you decide to take him back anyway, which I don't recommend you do, don't let him make you feel guilty about throwing him out. Instead, let him know he deserved to be thrown out. Let him know you're only taking him back to give him a second chance. He ought to feel badly for cheating on you and giving you cause to throw him out. Don't let him off easily. Let him know if he misbehaves again, no more chances. See what he does then -- my guess is you'd get a lot more respect from him.

The fact that you're on medication and are co-dependent and bipolar has nothing to do with anything. You don't deserve to be in an unhealthy relationship. You have the right to exclude anybody from your life who drags you down, period.

Please let me know what happens. You deserve to be happy, but you must stand up for yourself first. Take care, and I'll give you a bucket to catch all your tears in the meantime. :o)


February 23, 2006
6:31 am
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