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wondering if this site is really right for me
November 8, 2006
12:31 pm
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loverbee
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yeah I am trying really hard. wish I could get the cramps to stop though and the aches and pains. PMS sucks but I am glad that I am distracted by all the stuff that I am doing. made an appt with my therapist too. It is nice to get some input here though and I can't promise that my emotions won't take over my thoughts again but I am trying to remain somewhat reasonable with everyone. 🙂

November 8, 2006
12:45 pm
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revelation
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Hmmm....I think if you are not getting what you need from the advice and support that you are getting from people, then its probably not the right place, or maybe you are not ready to hear it?

I have read your posts about breaking up with your ex and I think your are being very sensible, I know you are in a lot of pain, its pain we've all been through so we know what you are feeling. I admire your strength and I think its just awful that you still have to live with the guy. We have all reacted in different ways and healed in different ways, so I suppose all we can do is advise, but we could never solve the problem...thats for you and you alone to do.

Perhaps your expectations of AAC are too high? I think support and comfort and empathy are great...but I also think whats great is some good old-fashioned honesty...and I like when people write and speak to me honestly from their hearts...even if sometimes what they have to say is something I'm not ready to hear yet...I just think that maybe you could cut some of the people who have helped you some slack. We are all good people (the fact that we are here taking time out of our lives to do this should prove, that though we may be flawed, we are at least at some level good) therefore when you are not getting enough from the people here or not getting your needs met, I think that whining about it, might actually hurt people and even more than that, it might make people feel guilty...and as there are a lot of codependent people here who battle with unfounded-guilt on a daily basis, I think whining about not being heard and not getting enough support...is quite honestly not very condusive to the healing of others and is ultimately not going to do any good for your healing either.

I'm being honest...when I read your first post on this thread I thought it sounded like a spoilt-child who wasn't getting enough attention...perhaps thats something you need to look at.

November 8, 2006
1:58 pm
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turnabout
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loverbee! I remember you speaking appreciatively about your boyfriend long ago, but I only keep up with the boards sporadically these days. I had no idea you'd gone through a breakup! I'm so sorry, dear. I hate hearing that.

Anyway, when it comes to using this site, it simply is going to be more useful at some times than at others. I've usually found myself getting most frustrated with it whenever I have been depending on it most heavily ... and even too heavily. I think most of us have found the advice here at times to just be bad, or that our feelings and true needs are just not being understood. You're in the norm I would say for feeling that you may need some distance.

I've also found that when I have separated from the site b/c I wasn't getting what I needed, there was something I needed to give myself all along and the site was a distraction from that, really. When I got away from it, I was able to determine what I was missing and ended up giving myself the comfort that I really needed.

Maybe you just need a break. Maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something, but keeps getting thwarted by the interference of everyone else's thoughts and opinions. Maybe you need to get away for a while so that you can listen to your subconscious better.

November 8, 2006
2:05 pm
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cyndra820
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LB~ I read your posts on another thread where you were saying you were in a lot of pain, but were glad you and your ex-b were going to be friends. You went on how it has been so cool to hang out and do other things. You even mentioned college not being conducive to couplehood (my terminology, not yours).

So, what most of us were responding to was the pain you expressed. Once we responded to that you blasted us for thinking the breakup was an angry one. We were never under that impression. We were concerned about your hurting. To have you lash out was unsettling and annoying. If you don't agree with it fine, but your post was angry. I don't understand why the anger was directed at us when we are going off the information you posted to us.

I agree with Ras that whining and complaining you aren't getting enough attention isn't conducive to anyone's healing nor is it fair to any of us.

While others may not agree with what I've written or with what Ras has written I feel that your lashing out at us for not paying you enough attention is inappropriate and very much unappreciated.

November 8, 2006
2:10 pm
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cyndra820
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I mean what Rev said, not Ras. Sorry Ras!!!

November 8, 2006
2:16 pm
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loverbee
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Ok, I am going to mention this one last time so that people understand where I was coming from FOUR DAYS AGO when I wrote this. I am PMSing big time and have had a very hard time dealing with cramps and a breakup. I have already admitted that I was being spoiled, unreasonable and just completely at the whim of my emotions. So now I am ok and have gotten the help I need. I don't have unrealistic expectations of this site and I am sure I am not the only person to post something like that. As a matter of fact I know I am not, but like any human being, I may have felt that way AT THE TIME. So now I am feeling better, lets move on. Please.

November 8, 2006
10:48 pm
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lovinglife
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another bump up for Astute

November 9, 2006
1:57 am
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Daeja
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loverbee
I am sorry you have those feelings. I haven't read your previous threats but I do have a very dear friend who has bipolar. I do read other threads and can sympathize but can't relate, I also do try to keep up with people too. It's like family here... But I also know in my case, I haven't been able to get all of my problem off my chest. Why...it still feels "naked" to put my raw feelings out to the world. Plus I shake when I start typing. But my point is this one,I do read more than I reply. And after awhile I feel a little drained. I really cry for people so we all try to show love to as many as we can, please BELIEVE lots of beautiful people right here, love you and really care.
That's the one thing I've learned about this site. Even tho I don't know your story. I am now here and ready to listen.
God bless you, baby.

November 9, 2006
4:53 am
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bonita1
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loverbee,

People who post here are for the most part NOT professional counselors. I truly believe that most people who post here are GOOD people who try to help each other out. But, lb, if you feel like you need more support, advice, time, etc., maybe going to professional counseling is not such a bad idea.

Just food for thought.

~~bonita

P.S. If you are already receiving therapy/counseling, please disregard. I didn't read through all of the posts. 🙂

November 9, 2006
6:11 am
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revelation
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OK, lovrbee has said she had PMS at the time she wrote this and is over it...so lets move on here and let the thread die.

Loverbee hope you are feeling more positive.

November 9, 2006
9:36 am
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jastypes
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Loverbee, and others.

Thank you for my laugh this morning. When I saw this thread yesterday it had 27 postings, the last one being Loverbee saying once again that she was over it, and we could leave it alone now. This morning I sign on and see there are 35 postings. I just cracked up. I know, I know, I have a weird sense of humor.

jill

November 15, 2006
9:35 am
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dereka
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Hi there everyone im new just been reading a few threads, wondering whats its all about I am very new to all this, so is this thread snapped or is it still sewing? one question no one answered the therapy question and I would like to know if therapy is the answer?

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