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WISH SOMEONE WAS HERE
February 18, 2004
7:52 pm
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MEC
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I'm having a very difficult time not thinking about my ex. I only have an hour and 9 minutes to get through. Then once I leave work, I know I will be okay. But now, it's hard. I can't stop thinking about him and trying to give myself excuses to call him

This is my first day of Detox.

IS anyone out there?

How are people doing today?

February 18, 2004
8:03 pm
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marley
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MEC -

I am here. Here are mantras for you.

I WILL NOT THINK OF HIM
I WILL FIND A BETTER ME
I HAVE A GREAT LIFE WITHOUT HIM
I WILL GET THIS NEW JOB!

Ok, start with those. Incidentally that reminds me of something a friend told me over the weekend. He said "do what you want to now, because someday you will have a fat stupid husband and you won't be able to do it then."

Be happy - you are young, beautiful, and single, if only we could all be so lucky.

Keep your chin up!

February 18, 2004
8:11 pm
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MEC
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Thanks Marley I appreciate it.

February 18, 2004
8:13 pm
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Wanttobewell
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I'm here briefly MEC,,trying to work, take care of a sick daughter, and put up with an asshole husband. Believe me,,,detox sounds good to me right now. I know this is probably much too late and you're already off work, but I believe you're doing great. You're getting through the first day, and we all here support you!!!!!! W.

February 18, 2004
8:16 pm
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GEMMZ
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MY EX FIANCE GOT HOME LEFT LIGHT FIXTURES ON THE STEPS, AN OLD BUDDY CAME BY TO SEE HIM AND THEY DROVE OFF. I GOT HOME FROM WORK AND DIDN'T HEAR FROM HIM TIL 530AM. THIS IA THE END--FOR REAL THIS TIME. DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR. 1 HAVE 12 HRS AND OVER 100 THOUGHTS OF HIM. I AM SAFE BECAUSE I AM STILL IN THE ANGRY STAGE. I LEFT THE ENGAGEMENT RING ON THE BED I LAID WORRYING ABOUT HIM ALL NIGHT. SURELY THERE HAS TO BE BETTER OUT THERE.

February 18, 2004
8:17 pm
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MEC
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Thanks Wanttobewell. I am still here 1/2 an hour to go. What is wrong with your daughter? I hope she will be okay?

What's the story with your husband? How are you handing it?

It's so hard b/c sometimes I just want to pick up the phone and ask him why he's not calling me. If last night he needed to talk to me so bad that he called and woke me up and it was so imporant he had to do it in person, why isn't he calling today? (Just so that I can feel better when I don't pick up.)

It's wrong for me to think this way, isn't it?

I hope this new job works out so that I can have a change of scenary and have something else to concentrate on.

Thanks for your support.

February 18, 2004
8:18 pm
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MEC
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GEMMZ,

Where are you now? Did you move out? Did he do something else to make you upset like this? Have you told him?

February 18, 2004
8:18 pm
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MEC
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Yes, definately sounds familiar. I'm glad you are here. Maybe we can support each other.

February 18, 2004
8:26 pm
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GEMMZ
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Well, this is the 3rd time in a year he's done this. I was in the process of moving in with him. i had given my apt manager notice and am/was suppose to be out by march13th. Here's the kicker-> my apt's been rented so I still have to move....upstairs. and I did the natural thing and left him a note Not to call me or look for me or i'd call the cops. I guess he's giving me space. I am co-dependent on him because we are like a puzzle. at the same time I have lost touch with old friends and such. so-i have a choice to find a way to get over it and move on...ha. or teach him a lesson and go back. then I wonder is co-denpendent easier than lonlieness? so as i work online - found this site...;)

February 18, 2004
8:27 pm
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MEC
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Wow. So, is he codependent too! What are you going to do? Move on? or Teach him a lesson? Are you in detox? How long?

February 18, 2004
8:31 pm
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MEC
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Do you think he was with someone else or did you just not like the fact that he went out and was gone all night?

February 18, 2004
8:34 pm
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GEMMZ
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i remember on afishing trip with him that i spoke about the day we were ever to break up i would go to my sisters for detox-he looked at me strange...detox? but it's the perfect word. well, i don't know but it is affecting my concentration. i have lots of work to do but i am exhausted. you know i know i have great qualities and help soooooooo many people...so where can i catch a break with this problem. day by day? someone told me the best way to forget a person is to go out with another-hmmmmmmm that's kinda no fair for the new person...and crummy don't you think?

February 18, 2004
8:36 pm
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GEMMZ
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HE DIDN'T LOOK ME IN THE EYE.So since we haven't spoken - i don't know. he loves me alot. it's my insecurity that leads me to believe what else would he be doing?

February 18, 2004
8:42 pm
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MEC
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what do you mean he didn't look you in the eyes? i thought you left the note and left? you saw him afterwards?

February 18, 2004
9:26 pm
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Zinnie
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Hi MEC,

Hope you are hanging in there.

For right now, I can be on-line at work, so hopefully you can catch me.

Next week is when we start really gearing up. Then at the end of March, I go back to working swing shift from 3:30 to 12:00 - so I'll be home all day.

You can do it!

Love,

Zinnie

February 18, 2004
11:02 pm
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GEMMZ
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HE CAME HOME AT 530AM-I SAW HE WAS OKAY ASKED WHAT HAPPENED-HIS REMARK WAS I'M ALIVE0OKAY. SO I ASKED DID SOMETHING HAPPEN WERE YOU IN AN ACCIDENT (REFERING TO THE ALIVE COMMENT) HE STATED...NO I WAS WITH HENRY. NOT LOOKING INTO MY EYES AND SAID HE DIDN'T HAVE A WAY TO CALL. HIS MOM AND DAD SAY SOMETHINGS UP WITH HIM BECAUSE HE DIDN'T REPORT TO HIS PART TIME JOB AND DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE. DUNNO....I FEEL I SOULD CALL-WHAT A POOR WAY TO SUPPORT HIM IF SOMETHING IS WRONG. YET THERE I GO AGAIN. MY FAMILY IS SO TIRED OF ME GETTING A BUM WRAP WITH HIM. THEY TUNE ME OUT-CEPT FOR MY SIS. I AM GONNA CALL HIM TO ASK HIM FOR A DAY TO EXCHANGE/RETURN OUR BELONGINGS. AS AN EXCUSE AND THEN THROW IN I HOPE YOU ARE THINKING STRAIGHT AND GOING TO COLLEGE. I'LL LET U KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THEN.

February 19, 2004
11:25 am
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MEC
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Ok, but, just to let you know. I started behaving like your fiancee with my ex-Pancho when I wasn't interested any more and didn't care what he knew/didn't know and/or how he felt. But, I wasn't strong enough to tell him to leave. Maybe your boyfriend is in the same situation, he doesn't care about you or your relationship any more but isn't strong enough to be the one to pull the plug.

If I were you I would try to avoid contact and give it some space. Then you will see.

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