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WILL I BE FREE IN 2 WEEKS?!
October 15, 2006
2:27 pm
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santino
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The date is set, my ex and her family will be moving out of state the 1st of November. Shes talking to her ex boyfriend again (the 1 I protected her from when he was stalking her). I have so many mixed emotions right now, 1 minute I miss her, the next I hate her. Then I want to write her a letter on how I think she did me wrong. These emotions are driving me crazy! I just got a really big promotion at work, I've been selected to go to Italy to learn from our Chefs in Italy, this is a big honor because only 12 are picked every year and we have over 500 restaurants, my joy turned to sadness because I didn't have her to share it with. I gave her back her watch she gave me, part of me gave it back to hurt her, the other part was I don't want any reminders. I hate her, love her, miss her, cant wait for her to leave, just over 2 more weeks, how will I feel when I know shes gone, I dread and can't wait for the day.

October 15, 2006
2:41 pm
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Randomwomen2
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((santino)) I cant even imagine the pain you must be feeling right know. I think that when she leaves it will be a validation for you that it is most defantly over. It might be easer that way I dont know. Have you tryed journaling your feelings? It might help. My thoughts are with you sweetheart you will make it through

October 15, 2006
11:13 pm
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santino
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Thanks randomwoman2, I have journaled my thoughts and feelings and it has helped. Thanks for your words and support, greatly appreciated. 🙂

October 16, 2006
12:21 am
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santino
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anyone awake? 🙂

October 16, 2006
6:32 am
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cyndra820
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(((Santino))) I feel for you. Congratulations on the promotion. Even if you don't have her to share it with it is a wonderful validation of your work.

October 16, 2006
9:09 am
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santino
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thanx cyndra820, Im really looking forward to it, I've never been there.

October 16, 2006
9:41 am
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atalose
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Santino,

Congratulations!!! Italy looks like such a wonderful place, how long will you be there studying? When will you be going?

I think only time can heal wombs. Maybe her moving away will help diminish the anxiety you might have of running into her.

It’s hard, I know, and I know words can’t take your pain away because if they could
I would say: You’re a good guy who deserves much better, and who knows, maybe an Italian beauty is waiting for you in Italy. !!!!!!

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

October 16, 2006
9:43 am
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santino
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lol, I hope so, the Italian beauty part. I'm trying so hard not to have good or bad thoughts about her, I try to have no thoughts at all. Sooooo hard though, thanks.

October 16, 2006
9:50 am
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mamac
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ahhh the dreaded roller coaster ride ..One minute up the next minute plumeting helplessly to the ground. I have been there done that. Hopefully a sense of releif will come to you like it came to me. At least you will know for sure where you stand, and when the ex is gone you will not have to see them or know they are close enough to call or go over to the house. With the ex gone you can feel a slight sense of releif. But honestly I think you should write a letter and get your feelings out. The ex dosent need to know how she hurt you, you need the ex to know. And that is much more important. I say write it don't delay. It could make a world of differance.

October 16, 2006
8:42 pm
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santino
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mamac, I think your right, I was thinking about that at work today, Im going todo it later on tonight, just really lay it all out there. Maybe I'll even share it with my therapist. 🙂

October 16, 2006
10:36 pm
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needtoheal
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I agree wholeheartedly with mamac... with her gone you will be able to move forward because you will not be able to see her anymore.. and you will eventually accept the reality that it is over...
Trust me, i know that it is so hard for you, when someone has left you feeling so empty inside...

You should be so proud of yourself... congratulations on the promotion!!!

Writing your feelings down is a great way to alleviate stess..
And if you want to save it, someday you may look back on how you felt and be able to really see how far you have come...

I wish you good luck on your trip and keep your head held high .. you are a worthy and deserving man... and remember that it is HER LOSS!!!!

best wishes...

oh, someone recommended changing my name from NEEDtoHEAL to

I WILL HEAL!!

I will always remember you because you were the first person who responded to my post.. and I will always appreciate the fact that you took the time to listen and give me advice.....

October 17, 2006
6:14 am
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santino
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i will heal, thank you so much and your welcome.

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