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Wife asking for documentation
January 23, 2005
1:22 pm
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yankee gal
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September 29, 2010
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Well I'm one of those women that feel in love with a married man. Three years ago he approached me a work, in which both of us were married at the time. Within six months we both noticed we were falling in love. Both of our marriages were on the rocks. He told me to leave my husband ( after 24 years of marriage) and he would leave his wife...I trusted the guy and I did. It was his turn and he would always find excuses.. His only daughter, can leave her until she finishes school. excuses after excuses and I kept falling for them. Finally this month his wife came across a massage appointment that I made him. He then confronted him about this.. He's an executive and travels Mon.-Thurs. plus we both work at the same company but different offices. This guy begged me not to tell his wife about this 3 year relationship.. she did call me and I told her the truth.. We were both on the line for over 45 min. On the otherside this guy was crying and begging me not to say a word and why would I hate him this much to rat on him. Before ending the call with his wife.. I told her i have documentation of e-mails and pictures of us.. She asked me to send them to her house ( in which I have been in many times while she was out of town). She said she would do what she needs to do with them.. So my delimia is.. Do I give her the documents to hang this guy and hopefully she will divoce him (he has cheated on her before) or do i not send them. Please help me make the right decision. All my close friends say not to give her the documentation since she could drag you into court, if she files for divorce.. I love this man so very much and I can't believe I feel for him the way I did. I lost everything just to be with him. So do I hang him?

January 23, 2005
1:34 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi Yankee gal: What would be your motivation to give her the info? revenge? Or do you want to continue a relationship w/ him? If you provide the info for her I think that would definately be a relationship stopper and you could kiss him goodbye. It sounds like you're already involved in the divorce proceedings and thats got to put a strain on your realtionship as it is. and if he has cheated on her before, what makes you think if you two get together he would be faithful to you? I say walk away and stay out of it. He's made his bed. SD

January 23, 2005
1:34 pm
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fairy99
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September 27, 2010
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yankee gal

I know just how you feel. I too was once in your shoes and because of the feelings you have for this person, you tend to think you have made the right decesion. You already told her, yes? So what harm will it do to give her all of it? I know you don't want to hurt this guy but what about you? Did he mind hurting you all this time by giving you excuse after excuse? I will never understand men who can't make their marriages work or relationships for that matter marriage or otherwise. I had a friend who had an affair for over 20 years, and his wife found out several times and never left even though the evidence was right there in black and white. You have to make sure your doing this for the right reasons or it will back fire and I'm sure you don't want that. Tough decesion, I say follow your heart. Good luck. Keep us informed and welcome to this wonderful site.

~~fairy~~

January 23, 2005
1:38 pm
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funnnyone
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Well... you both betrayed your spouses. You did the right thing be leaving your husband because you must not have truely loved him. You told your lover's wife about the affair what more can you do? He already hung himself, take no blame. He made the choice and now, like you he has to live with the consequences of his actions. If you were in his wifes situation would you want the pictures and the e-mails? It seems to me like your lover wanted the best of both worlds and for a while thats exactly what he got. You deserve more and so does his wife. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

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