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Wife Again OR Single Mom?
December 2, 2001
10:33 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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My husband is no longer lives with me for about a month, due to domestic violence injunction (he can't get near or see me). We share custody of our 4-yrs old child with no problem. We've been married for 7 years and I wasn't happy with him because of his cheating 2x before marriage, don't trust him, and his emotional/physical abuses. We broke up few times during marriage, but went back together just right after the birth of our son. When I first met him, I don't recall feeling so madly in love with him and I guess I married him because I thought there aren't anyone for me.

Well, looks like I'm wrong. Since I'm still separated and I'm a Christian, I met a very nice Christian guy a year ago at my job, but we didn't go out on a date til 3 mos. ago. We did NOT have sex at all. Nobody knew about us except his relative that he nicely introduced us to last night. They know about my problems with my husband.

The problem is he sent me an email just now and said that he doesn't want to come over my house (to watch movie, etc) because he doesn't feel comfortable and he didn't want our relationship to go too fast. He said he have a good Christian moral and have patience for me. He also said he'll spend more times with me AFTER my divorce. Well, I haven't process my divorce yet because my mom won't let me. I lied my 'other' guy that i'm still in divorce court working it out, but it didn't happen - why because of my Mom. Mom made me to schedule a counselor and hope my marriage is saved. Hubby is living with Mom now since no place to live. Mom didn't know my 'other' guy. I feel so frustated and confused on my life. I feel like I'm doing evil things to them and myself. I'm not sure what to do: stop seeing 'other guy', process the divorce, or save marriage for Christian belief stake. Your advices would be very helpful. Thanks.

December 3, 2001
1:13 am
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Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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Ok. you are still listening to mommy and you are a grown woman? If by law you cannot get close to your husband it must be for a good reason right? HE HAS HURT YOU PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. the flood gates have been opened. The are very hard to close once the have been opened. Process the divorce and do it behind momma's back if you have to. But do not do this to be with other guy do it for your self. You do not want this guy to be rebound guy do you? There is nothing wrong with being a single parent. I am doing it. If you are in an unhappy marriage your child will know this and be affected by it in a bad way. Get single and be happy. As for mom, this is 2001 and we do things the modern way now.

December 3, 2001
12:55 pm
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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I really must strongly suggest that you take some time alone right now. An abusive 7 year relationship needs time for you to discover how you got a guy like that in the first place, why you took him back so many times, risked bringing a child into that unstable environment, and why MoM still has so much influence over your behavior, and thought process. Mom could be in la la land, and with the mind set that you hold on to your marriage no matter what, because that is the way she knows. You are the one that lived with abuse, and even the Bible will not cosign that in a marriage. Get some education about you, domestic violence, co-dependency, and honor what your friend, who appears to have your best intentions at heart. Before you jump out of the frying pan into the fire, take some time for you, healing education, and loveing your self and your child. I would maintain the distance between you and hubby, and if it was so bad that you got a restraining order this time don't look back. Its really difficult to bring a blended family together, I think being a single mom is more in the childs best interest. There are books regarding studies of this. Just way to many dynamics for kids to process. With a wako dad, does he need more?

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