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Why ?
October 27, 1999
4:45 am
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Why is it that some people are born in pain and others in pleasure? Why do some people have to grow up in circumstances which force them to live life in a painful way, and leaving little chance of recovering? Why are some people born in circumstances which teach them that life is a pleasure and life is to be loved and enjoyed, while others are born in circumstances which teach them that life is a pain and it is to be loathed and disliked? Is'nt it unfair for the less fortunate people, considering what a *hard* time they will have, trying to recover from it, just assuming that they DO try to recover and I think everyone would understand that their chances of recovery are so small considering that the majority of 'painful' people raise 'painful' kids and thus the chain carries on...? Its rare to break the chain, because its so difficult to stop this 600000 ton oil tanker that was going backward...and now trying to make it go forward? Its so difficult to recover, isnt it? Recovery is one hard thing; *recognizing* that you *need* to recover is another, possibly more , difficult and rare thing... its so rare for people to recognize that they need to recover... i mean, just look at it like this... chances of recognizing the need of recovery are very small. Ok, if you DO recognize that you need to recover, the chances of recovery are also very small which means the chances for a person to recover become almost minute (as in tiny)..

Why do some people face so much difficulty in their lives and others sail through it, considering that the circumstances in which a person is born has tremendous and profound effects on their personality on a long term basis?

Why is this unfairness there? Why?
Why are some people born in a storm and in a mess and while others in a peaceful garden? Why? I dont know why ...why does it happen....whats the solution to it? Any answer to it? In the end, do the 'less fortunate' people really end up being less fortunate? Is life this unfair? Or is there something which balances the fortune for both types of people? Is there anything of the sort which balances the scales of fortune? What is it? How reachable is it by the 'less-unfortunate' people? I wish God would answer this question ...? Why does this happen? Whats the answer and solution or to it? If theres no solution, is there any explanation for it?

Why?

October 27, 1999
7:31 am
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hazza
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HI guest,
There is a famous model in england, i forget her name, but she was born into and unloving atmosphere, her mother threw her out on to the streets of London when she was twelve. She said she was sitting in an alleyway one night when she heard water, it was a man urinating by her head, she dicided there and then that she would change her life. She sole some make- up and clothes, cleaned herself up, and got herself a job in a sandwich bar. She eventually progressed to modelling.
She was then invloved in a traffic acident, she was run over by a police motorcycle which cut of the lower part of one of her legs, she still models.
I once heard this woman in an interview and i was blown away by her determination, she has had so much bad luck but she had fought every step of the way and is a together person, and a nice person. I believe she is heavily involved in various charity work as well.

So what is my point with this story, I guess we all know that "life isn't fair" but we dont really accept it. We need to take this this anger at the injustice of life and use it to fuel us just like this young woman did,
Anger is as corrosive as acid, it will eat away at anything we must put it on to things that need to eaten

October 27, 1999
7:37 am
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hazza
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sorry, i posted before finishing,
anyway, the gains we get from being given the difficult path, do come to us through overcoming things.
Whatever your challenges are, once overcome you will be a better person for it, maybe it doesn't sound like such a good deal, but it is the only one that is on offer.
If the woman in my story had not accepted her challnges, she would still be in an alley getting pissed on! As it is she is in a happy place in her life and is able to help others get to a happy place in theirs.
Its not much of an answer to your question but then i don't think every question in life always has a satifactory answer.
We can only play the cards we are dealt in life and try not to drown in the "what ifs" and the "if onlys"
Take care
Hazza

October 27, 1999
8:02 am
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Jaskid
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guest,
I struggled with that same question. If I sit there and think of all the suffering going on in this world I get very emotional and then ask God, why? My brain can not comprehend God's will. I do think it all goes back to original sin and the fall of man. God made all things perfect, then man fell into temptation and what was once perfect became corrupted. It doesn't seem fair that this sin would pass down, but it has.
The hardest part is accepting, I know. I am in a constant battle everyday with my spirit and flesh. But somehow I do know God is in control of it all and one day He will make it all good again, putting your trust in someone who you can't hear or see is faith, I know I need it to get through this life.
Jaskid

October 27, 1999
9:08 am
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Cici
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Do you remember the story from the Bible about Job? Why do bad things, very awful terrible things, happen to good people? There isno answer to that question. We must, in order to achieve peace for ourselves, accept the ridiculous absurdity of life.

The question you have asked is the essential existential dilemma. We fear, as humans, that our personal existence may ultimately lack meaning. In order to combat this, we must take the bull by the horns and, as Hazza related in the story about the model, force our life to have meaning by making active decisions. You should not ask why, because it is you who are questioned by life every day. And you must answer it by making your own life meaningful.

Some people are born in wretched circumstances and remain there forever. Some drag themselves up and out of the gutter against tremendous odds. What is the difference between these two? Strength of character, firstly, secondly they make meaning for their own lives.

October 28, 1999
10:32 am
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lost soul
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Wao! what a great thread!!!
Why?why?I have been asking myself this same question since i was young.when I make it through a difficult time, there will be something that strikes again.And I asked myself the same question WHY? WHY?
The model whom hazza mentioned,she is so strong and incredible.But Why? why the accident must happened.
Why are some people predestined to be born in broken family,abusive parents,abusive husband, met an accident,raped abuse by everybody around her or him worst still, have incurable sickness.Why? why? why is there so many tragedy that a person should go through. Why? why?
Some people are so bad hearted but they will not suffer from any above mentioned misfortune. Why?why?
Is there any answer? I know I won't get any.

October 28, 1999
1:04 pm
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gemini
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I've asked myself "why" over and over. I finally realized that instead of focusing my energy on finding the answer to an age old question,I've decided to instead focus that same energy into making conscious choices about "what is". No matter what is thrown our way in life, we always have a choice. Each day, we can choose to accept what comes our way and deal with it accordingly or we can choose to wonder why it came our way in the first place. Certainly, this is not an easy thing to do but it does force us to become aware of the fact that choices do exist. It's like the model in hazza's post. She chooses to accept here fate and go on. Hope this helps.

November 4, 1999
9:17 pm
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Sherri
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This really is deep. I have asked myself the same question many times. I think hazza has the right idea. We need to always remember the less fortunate that have overcame great odds to become what they are. It's not always easy, though. Sometimes I feel like I am one of the luckiest people in the world just for the things I usually take for granted like my health, my material possessions, having enough food to eat, etc. But you can't always just forget the negative things that have happened to you. I don't know if overcoming is just forgetting, or maybe there's more to it than that. I guess it's not healthy just to suppress your memories, but you sure can't dwell on them. You just have to take one day at a time and always try to focus on the positive...

November 5, 1999
7:39 am
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hazza
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hi all,
sherri is right, we must focus on the positive.
Why? because what else can you do?

If each time we asked why, someone made our bills dissappear, made our hurt and illnesses go away, then Id be asking why all the time beleive me!

But it doesn't. Nothing comes from this kind of negative feeling, it only kills your energy.
This is not denial, im not saying don't think about the hurt and it ill dissappear.
Im saying if you want to survive lifes ups and downs you must not spend all your energy in un-productive thinking. Think how you can make things a bit better, it is a better time use that to wonder why.
What problem has ever been cured by wondering why? Problems are SOLVED, not LAMENTED AWAY. Use your energy to find solutions, being positive and remembering what is GOOD in your life gives you to tools to find the solutions,
Positive thinking will work not on its own but because it allows you to make changes. It makes you realise that there are some things that you can do something about, you must work on those things, not the things out of your control.
Take care all
Hazza

November 5, 1999
11:15 am
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Cici
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Hey ya'll.

Has anyone ever read any Camus, Satre, deBeavoir, Kafka, Frankl? All those crazy existentialists have gone over and over what you guys are discussing.

Pretty much they all came to the same conclusion: life is absurd. It's ridiculously absurdly funny. When you can learn to laugh at yourself, you can laugh at the absurdity of life, and thus accept it.

Then, you realize that you have control only over yourself, and only over the attitude you take when life presents you with any given situation. Suddenly, asking why seems...well, overrated.

hugs,
C 🙂

November 5, 1999
11:33 am
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hazza
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hi all,
sartre et al, also realised that being free from responsibilities actually made you less free.

cici have you read the magus by john fowles yet? its like sartre but has a plot, i dont know what to make of it but it is interesting.
see ya
Hazza

November 5, 1999
11:50 am
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Snow
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You know the saying,
"That which does not kill you makes you stronger."
I've always been told that God doesn't give you what you can't handle. Whether I actually believe that or not is a different story. But, I'm not dead yet and I seem to be getting stronger every day. There's got to be something to that.

November 10, 1999
12:46 am
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lost soul.. :)) nice to know someone was thinking the same thing as me.... in a way, this why, why appears so funny... and then again, as i get seriuos, it feels like a black hole..there seems to be no real answer to it.. its unknown that exactly why it happens... but as many of you said that its better to move from why to 'what can i do about it?'.. the model in your example... i will say that how many people are like ? How many pick themselves after falling? i dont think everybody can do that... it takes a lot of energy... doesnt the large number of people who remain like that for the rest of their lives say anything about how HARD it is to recover....?
But what you all said about having a choice, thats true... we DO have a choice... and right.. what can we do? except focus on the positive...Hazza you're totally right... but sometimes, one can feel soooooo down and then you start thinking: WHY???? :))...

November 10, 1999
6:55 am
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Brittainy
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Hi I wonder why I have to suffer from such pain, especially physical pain. I was abused all my life and I am constantly asking myself why? It seems to me that I will never be out of pain. I am lucky because I receive a lot of help and I help others with similar problems to myself, but sometimes it is too much for me. Talking over the internet really helps me. Take care

November 16, 1999
8:57 pm
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mnms
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i often wonder the same thing: why. but i guess i have come to accept that i may never know the answer. all i know is that i am able to handle everything that i go through because Jesus is my savior... and He can make good come out of everything. it's easy to say but hard to believe, i know. trust me i know.

November 17, 1999
6:04 am
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gal-ff
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One of my favorite says: when I ask: "Why me Lord" help me to remember "Why not me?" Everyone suffers from some kind of pain why should I be any different.
Make any sense??? 🙂

November 17, 1999
4:42 pm
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eve
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aren't there different why's? I mean a lot of why questions can be answered rationally, like why does it make me angry, that... And if you find an answer to this kind of questions then you can start working on a cure. And then there are the other why questions, that can only be answered by trying to find something or somebody that helps us to cope and to get over things.
I think a big part of the art of life is to differentiate between the two, because it sometimes can be fatal to resign when you could acchieve a change for the better, and other times struggling or revolting against the unchangable can keep us from doing something useful with our energy.
Eve

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