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Why won't he stop gambling .
October 8, 2001
6:33 pm
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TLJB
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My husband is a well educated man and holds a great paying job. I found out six years ago that he had a gambling problem that was beyond belief. I was devastated! We had some small money problems when we first got married but I always figured they were small and fixable. Now its grown so bad that it has changed our life style and hopes and dreams that we had for the future. We have never had problems in our marriage except for this. I love him and want to help him find his way but it looks as though all my help is not working. We have gone to a few meetings but it only helps for a short while.
All my friends say leave him!! Get out now because it will never go away it will only get worse. I think its wrong to bale out and run away but yet its ruining my life to.
His good paying job is no longer able to help with the debt that he has put us into.
It would take many years to get us back on our feet. I feel stupid if I stay when everyone is telling me to go. I'm at a point in my life where we talked about having a baby and we both want that. How do I dare bring a child in on this bad situation. I fear he may not be able to change so we quit trying. I am in my late thirties I don't feel I can wait to much longer to have a baby. I can only fix one problem at a time and I think that maybe I will never experience having a child if I'm trying to help him keep things under control. So far with my help it isn't working. This really is not my problem to fix. But I feel if I don't put any effort into helping there will be no chance to salvage anything that I have put twenty years into. If that happens I don't know what I would do!! I would like to get opinions from people I don't know for once. Sometimes your friends hold back because they don't want to hurt you with the brutal truth. Maybe I am crazy for staying or maybe I need to have hope. I don't know?
I only know that something has got to give soon.

October 8, 2001
9:11 pm
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Molly
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Its an addiction, just like every thing else that gets out of balance, drugs, alcohol, sex, spending. For God sakes don't have a baby, and take protection till life is stable and with respect to addiction, at least two years of abstinance. This is a tough one, and you should take steps to proctect your credit, and your assets. Alanon, is for those who live, or are close to people with addictions, check it out, and get some education, support and direction. You can't fix it, only he can. This is time for tough love, not enabeling. You could take your name off the debt, and suggest credit counseling, but most likely if you are married, your going to be responsible for what ever up to this date. Read this again, you can't fix him.

October 8, 2001
11:54 pm
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damaged
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What Molly just said is so true!!! He might have to lose everything before he reaches his bottom.

October 9, 2001
10:23 am
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TLJB
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Hi Molly,

Thank you for responding.
That sounds like good advice.

October 9, 2001
10:26 am
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TLJB
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Thanks You to Damaged.

October 9, 2001
5:42 pm
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Molly
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The sad thing is we never ever know what their bottom is, and sometimes we have to help them find it. tough love.

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