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why won't he make plans?
October 2, 2001
9:26 am
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pill
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I have tried to get him to make plans to take trips with me, but he won't commit to anything. This is a problem for me because i can't make plans, really don't want to go without him. My schedule is very strict and his is not. I just don't understand because of the free time he has why he won't make plans with me.

October 2, 2001
9:29 am
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jb489
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Pill,
Have you asked him why he is avoiding the opportunity to have special time with you? How would he feel if you were to arrange everything right down to talking with his boss and getting the time off for him? Just a thought. How committed to your relationship is he? Good luck-Michele

October 2, 2001
9:31 am
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pill
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I have not asked him why. It might be because he doesn't have much money - does that make any sense? He would probably feel like I was trying to control him if I were to arrange a trip and go through his boss and all. He's committed enough to say that he's committed, that he's never felt this way and more...

October 2, 2001
10:27 am
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jb489
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Pill,
would both of you be able to pay for portions of the trip? How long and extravagent a trip are you hoping for? Do you really think he would feel you are being controlling or is it possible he may think "How romantic and spontaneous" How would it make you feel if he were the spontaneous one? Can you plan a rendevouz together-get some of his ideas of what/where he would like and tell him your thoughts and see if a compromise can be established.

October 2, 2001
10:39 am
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pill
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We could both contribute, but I make a lot more money, and would feel compelled to pay for more than he. Great idea - ask him for his ideas and plan according to each of our wishes. I can try that.

the other thing bothering me is he must work weekends,a dn I have my weekends free. A Trip would mean my taking vacation days, whereas he would be free during the week. It's a slight problem.

October 2, 2001
10:49 am
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jb489
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How stuck are you on not taking vacation days. If being with him means that much to you then take the days off during the week and have a great time. Besides alot of things are less hectic during the week when on a trip-alot more time for you and he to bond and get to know eachother all over again-When there is not alot of commotion around or feeling like a schedule has to be followed it gives way for unconditional love and special time between the two of you. Who said that only weekends were the time for a trip. Bend a little-both of you. Try it it may not be that bad. Good luck let me know. Michele

October 2, 2001
12:46 pm
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Success! Michele, I asked him for time during the week, and he said YES, he wanted to. Thanks!

October 2, 2001
1:40 pm
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jb489
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Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a wonderful time and just love him and you up. See- have faith.
Michele

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