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WHY WHY WHY?
January 28, 2005
4:54 pm
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ILSILS
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why do i even try?
its becomeing so aparent to me the time i waste with him. i have two dollars left for all week for my daughter and me both, and he is asking em to go get pain medicine again for him, and he wants me to go over there tonight. grrrrrr. makes me mad that he has such audasity to be like that. why cant he get out of himself for long enough to realize that here i am taking care of our kid for the last two months, and working paying all the bills etc. while he lays in bed b/c he decided to ride a motorcycle and brak his leg for the second time in a year. we now have over 80k in med. bills that i will never be able to pay. he is totally using me. when he wants something he will do what ever it takes to get it. grrrrrrrrrr
bad day today, not doing to well, mom and dad are watching my daughter tonight, i need a break, i know ill get weak and end up over there, dont have anywhere else to go and sleep and get away. wish i could just let this go, and stick to it. why do i allwayse go back. its like im addicted to hurting, drama and pain. like i dont think i deserve better then to be treated with no respect.

January 28, 2005
5:04 pm
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mamacinnamon
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when he wants something he will do what ever it takes to get it.

ILS - so let him do whatever it takes but to someone else besides you. Say NO! You might be surprised how quickly he gets his meds.

Stay strong and don't go over there.

January 28, 2005
5:13 pm
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dustygirl
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Ils - I don't know if you read what I wrote to you yesterday - but I have been thinking allot about this last night and today. My b/f didn't make any changes until he realized that his wife no longer needed or wanted him and boy, now he has become a different person. I hate it because it makes me realize that he still have feelings for her - but I am just letting you know that by his wife walking away, not calling or seeing him and making a life for herself and their 2 kids - he's really realizing how he f...d things up in their marriage and now it may be too late to repair them.

All I am saying is that you need to step back as hard as it is and he will come around. It may take some time but he will realize what he had and will miss it terribly. By you going over there tonight and buying his medication you are allowing this man to win. Where does he get the money for his drugs, motorcycle, the business he wants to open - if he needs his pain killers bad enough he will find a way to get them.

Please, please, please - don't go there tonight. Go to the movies instead and go home and get some rest. You will feel so good about yourself in the morning. I promise.

January 28, 2005
5:19 pm
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Anonymous
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I think you need to stop asking why, when it's simple he is an ass. Not even an ass but an ass of a nasty troll under the dirty bridge.

WHY WHY WHY, are you staying? I know you care, but honestly make him work for your love and affection. He is just plain selfish. Jerk. And besides that, let him get his own damn medicine. Then see how he acts.

I thought you were in on the 30 day rule?? AND NO don't see him tonight, and if you do I hope you at least don't take his shit.

January 28, 2005
5:29 pm
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ILSILS
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you think i can go over there just to take advantage of getting a break from the little one, even better, maby ill just go over there and go to sleep. time for me to use him for what i can get, not the other way around? god im sick

January 28, 2005
5:31 pm
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ILSILS
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hmmmm wait, i have three for dont go, and none for go maby i should reconcider.

January 28, 2005
5:35 pm
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dustygirl
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your making excuses to see him - believe me, I am an expert on that. Try your best but don't beat yourself up if you cave.

January 28, 2005
5:37 pm
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Hurts_so_bad
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ILSIS,

I agree with all 3 DON'T GO!!!!!
You'll hate yourself in the morning.

January 28, 2005
5:39 pm
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ILSILS
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ok that makes 4-
man why does it hurt so bad?
ok ok, called my brother, we are going to dinner, atleast i wont be running straight over there. but after that no promises. ill try though,
see you all next week?

January 28, 2005
5:40 pm
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ILSILS
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p.s. if you havnt allready read the post good one-
great song wish i could live it

January 28, 2005
5:43 pm
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dustygirl
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dinner and movies - Ils then home to bed!!!

January 28, 2005
5:47 pm
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ILSILS
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il try my best

January 28, 2005
5:53 pm
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sewunique
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here's number 5!

why make yourself sick? sicker? Only two bucks in your pocket and yu're strong emough to give him his own medicine and make him suffer? I don't thinksooooo.

When he gets his meds, or drugs, how are you going to feel that he does'nt care you still only have two bucks in your pocket?

January 28, 2005
6:06 pm
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sdesigns
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#6 for don't.

January 28, 2005
7:19 pm
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workinonit
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7 here!

January 28, 2005
7:26 pm
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gazelle
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Make that 8! Don't go, dear. Treat yourself like a princess instead and enjoy how that feels!

January 28, 2005
8:12 pm
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Phalic_Liberator
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9. It's called self-defense, baby.

January 28, 2005
10:39 pm
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addicts wife
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DON'T GO!!!!!
Tell your self how much stronger you'll feel tomorrow!!
EMPOWER yourself.
NO. a one sylable, very straight, effective word.. Go ahead, say no out lous , right now... It feels good , and it feels better everytime, and it gets easier..
GO ahead, say it like you mean it!!!!
🙂

January 29, 2005
10:16 am
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msguud
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I HOPE YOU DIDN'T GO! I want to phone him also, but it's day 12 starting for me and if he cared, he'd contact me. POWER TO US!

January 29, 2005
6:06 pm
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destino
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Why you ask? its not over until its over believe me when you have had enough you will walk away. But as long as you got alittle hope left, as long as you believe maybe it will change you will be there. its not over till its over when you had enough you will know it and you will let it go with little problem.You are seeing certain things like how your doing it all while he lays around hurt because of his own stupidity, I can relate been there hang on your probably coming to the end

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