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Why to girls let "hot guys" treat them like sh*t?
September 12, 2005
9:34 am
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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The reason you are attracted to needy people is bc you are compassionate loving person. You have also allowed yourself to learn from your trials and hard times, which gives you the gift to be able to indentify this in others and want to reach out to them. This is all wonderful and something to be truely admired in you. Not everyone CHOOSES to learn and grow from their pain. You obviously were emotionally mature enough to do that. Congratulations.

Just keep in mind that there are healthy boundaries when helping others. Personally I too have to keep myself in check with this issue, so as not to cripple someone even more by rescuing them or helping them too much.

I refer to books on Boundaries in Relationships to help me with this. You might want to talk to your brother about how he keeps himself in check too. I think he would be an awesome resource for you on learning about what to do, not to do. I'm sure there are some of his patients that are more difficult for him to not rescue too much as opposed to others. Usually its those patients who hit a little too close to our own issues that can trip us up. 🙂

Incidentally, the main reason we didn't learn healthy boundaries in relationships is bc the main caretaker in our life had none or very little boundaries to role model for us. So now we have to un-learn what mom taught us and re-learn the healthy way.

But it can be done.. I'm living proof. Takes work though. Why does everything good take so much work ? 🙂

Oh, and psychologist/therapists are merely our teacher and cheerleader. Its up to us to cure ourselves by applying what we learn to our situation. And again, I'm living proof that a lot of hard work in therapy pays off. And I know if I can do it, so can you.


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