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Why Should I Stop Cutting Myself?
January 21, 2005
12:25 am
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AtWarWithMyself
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I cut myslef from time to time and I'm not sure if I even want to stop. If I knew a reason why I should stop, maybe I would, but I don't know any. My friend called me last week to tell me that one of her friends was cutting and she wanted me to give her advice, but I didn't know what to say, becuase I don't know any reasons to stop cutting. Help?
-AtWarWithMyself

January 21, 2005
12:41 am
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LthrNlace
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Can I ask you what the reason is you cut yourself? How long have you been doing this? How and why did you begin this self-abusive behavior? One reason to stop doing it is because it is self-harming. I know this is not enough of a reason to stop this harmful behavior. In fact, the only way to probably stop completely would be to see a therapist or counselor of some type. Cutting is a complicated behavior that is driven from a deep emotional and psychological aspect. It turn into a type of addiction because the behavior is repetitve and is done to seek out a positive feeling from it.

I hope you decide to explore your options and get some help. At least try talking to a counselor, it may help a lot. Take care of yourself.

January 21, 2005
12:46 am
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AtWarWithMyself
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That's part of my problem...I have no clue why I do it...any time someone mentions cutting, I just get the strongest urge to cut myself...nothing's really wrong with my life...I guess to an outsider, my life would basically seem perfect, but I honestly don't think it is.

Argh, but then I think about other people who cut and I feel so pathetic becuase they all have these traumatic events in their lives and I have no reason.

I have no idea what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, why it's unhealthy, or why I should stop...Why is life so FREAKING confusing?! And stressful...and CONFUSING...now that I'm finished venting...

-AtWarWithMYself

January 21, 2005
12:53 am
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LthrNlace
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I think I read in one of your posts that You are 14, well thats a stressfull and very confusing time of life! And I am sure you do have a good life and are very blessed, but that doesnt mean that you arent having a hard time dealing with life. Life hands us many things, some good, some sad, stressful, confusing.

I know some things about cutting. One reason people do it is to "feel real" .. they often feel like they are cold or dont exist in a way so they cut themselves to feel some type of feeling. Another reason is because they have so much emotions and stress inside them, they cut to release it. A third reason is because they can deal with the physical pain beter than with their emotions of stress, guilt, pain and sadnedd, etc. These are just some of the more common reasons, of course everyone is different.

Since you are unsure of even why and what you are doing to yourself, I would suggest getting a counselor, or peer counselor, or a relative , to talk to about this and try to understand yourself on that deeper level that is so complex.

January 21, 2005
1:27 am
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Juliska
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I used to cut my arms when I was a teenager (I'm now 45). I didn't know it then, but I had severe problems w. major depression & was finally diagnosed and medically treated when I was 27. But my depression/cutting started in the the 1970s, back when there were few to no medical treatments for depression. While tricyclic antidepressants did exist in those days, one literally had to be about to jump off a bridge before one could get them.

In retrospect, I now believe that my cutting was a CRY FOR HELP. I hoped that my strange behavior would *finally* get my parents' and friends' attention and get them to do SOMETHING to acknowledge my pain & help me get help.

What happened? Oh, my parents "acknowledged my pain" alright. As in, "Oh, she's just trying to get attention. Ignore her."

My best friend clammed up and didn't talk about it at all, though years later she did tell me that it scared the hell out of her.

I don't hold it against them now. They were doing the best they could at the time. My own mother even now acknowledges that she handled it all wrong. I forgive them. There's no sense in feeling anything but compassion for them and where they were at the time.

Where does this leave you?

LEARN FROM ME! Do not waste time. Get yourself to your school counselor and tell him/her *exactly* what's going on. Show him/her the wounds/scars. If the counselor blows you off or doesn't deal w. the problem directly or quickly, DO NOT GIVE UP! See your doctor. Call a suicide hotline (even if you're not suicidal) because they can direct you to people and resources who CAN help!!

Please let us know how it's going.

Blessings to you & you're in my prayers.

Been There, Got Better.

January 21, 2005
2:26 am
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sewunique
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Hi there,

i am sorry about your cutting. I know what ever the reason for doing this, and there are several reasons people do this, that it is a big deep seeded issue of why you do it. You may not even fully realize why you do it. I hope you are talking to a school counselor or that talking to your parents is an option. If not, I hopw you can find someone to share this with. There is definately a reson for this and talking to a counselor at school or church group or a crisis line can guide you to help. My nephew did this when in his teens and early twenties. He made excuses of what the scars were from. But in talking to him and seeing the scars, I figured out he was doing this self mutilation behavior.

You can also go to the serch window on top of the thread titles. I keyed in 'cutting' and 'cutters' with a single word search and found about seven old threads on this topic. Unless you have already done that. Also, the homepage here has links to many resources. Hope this helps. Keep posting here!

January 21, 2005
8:59 am
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jastypes
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My son was a cutter. He cut for 3 years and just stopped a few months ago, after finally letting me know about it, and getting psychological and medical help for depression. He stopped for a couple of reasons.
1) His girlfriend was also cutting, and he wanted her to stop hurting herself, so they made a pact to stop.

2) The scars are unsightly -- and while some of them are on his thighs and abdomen where no one sees them, a good deal of them are on his arms and they draw attention if he is not wearing sleeves. He was embarrassed by the scars, and also feels they are an ugly reminder of his pain.

3) Health. Cutting is dangerous. There is danger of infection. Danger of cutting too deep and serious injuring one's self. My son happens to be a diabetic, so he also had issues with regard to healing properly.

January 21, 2005
9:14 am
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seeking_answers
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Dear AtWarWithMyself,
I used to cut also.. The reason for me is that it calmed me down when I was at my ropes end. Your body lets out endorphins when you cut that actually calm you.. Like a drug.. And it can be addicting.. You can probably find some articles regarding this.. And I have been able to stop with counseling, medicine.. And also because of the scars.. I'm embarrassed to wear a bathing suit or certain types of shorts.. or shirts that the sleeves are too short.. And when I start dating someone new, it is always in the back of my mind, how they might react when I have to tell them.. From the earlier posts, I'm guessing you are a young teenager and have many years ahead of you.. Think about the consequences of this behavior.. And how hard it will be to explain this to someone when you want to wear a bathing suit.. Or when you start dating.. Hope this helps.. Take care.. And please let us know how you are doing.. Cutting is very serious!!!

-Seeking

January 21, 2005
10:28 am
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silence
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I'm an old cutter too. I know I posted a lot on this before. Each time I pretty much said the samew thing. I don't know how help, but I have been there too.

January 21, 2005
10:29 am
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Cici
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I was a cutter when I was a teenager. I stopped because people noticed the scars, I always cut my upper thighs and inner thighs for some reason, and I still have faint, spidery scars all over the tops of my thighs that I occsasionally have to explain to those I am being intimate with.

I replaced my cutting habit (which I did from about age 12-14) with smoking cigarettes. Healthy, I know. To me, it's pretty similar. It's an addictive habit.

In my experience, you just try to transfer that energy to something different. In my case, something just as unhealthy, but with less visible and more socially acceptable consequences.

January 21, 2005
12:58 pm
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Anonymous
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I have been a cutter and my daughter is a cutter as well.

What would I say about why you should stop cutting? Because part of learning to live life means learning to love yourself. Can you imagine cutting someone you love? A parent? A close friend? An innocent child?

Cutting does help to relieve an emotional pain that we sometimes don't know is inside of us. It also sends us the message that we aren't worth being cared for and nurtured--that in fact, we deserve to be harmed for how we feel.

I would say the first step toward stopping this behavior is to find one thing you love about yourself and hold onto that with all your might. Then you might find another thing, then another...

We are here for you!

Love,

Ren'ai

January 21, 2005
7:25 pm
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Anonymous
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Someone today suggested holding ice in your hand for as long as you can stand it when you feel like cutting. It will release the same chemicals without doing such serious damage...

Ren'ai

January 24, 2005
7:29 pm
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AngelBaby
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I don't know how old you are, I don't know why you cut yorself, but I will tell you this. If you have no reason to do it no reason to kill your self you just like it, then there is nothing wrong with it that I see personally. I personally love to cut on myself I just like to feel pain. I don't know if there is a reason to stop cutting if there is nothing wrong.

January 24, 2005
7:40 pm
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SPLINTER
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later in life you will look back on the scars and realize what you have done to yourself.
mayve you wont stop now but sooner or later you will. You will always have those scars. Whenever you look at them they will remind you of whatever you were feeling when you did it. Do you really want to be reminded of those times? Do you really want those scars to be there for a long time?
its not worth it. trying to hide the scars from people, always seeing them and remembering..

January 24, 2005
8:12 pm
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brendalee
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There ARE other ways to feel real - I know. Cutting for me was validation. Validation that yes....I am real. I am real because I bleed and the blood validates...therefore I REALLY DO exist....the blood is proof. But there are other ways to feel real. Your job is to find those other ways. Someone well informed can help you. My heart goes out to you sweets.
Brenda

January 25, 2005
1:10 am
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Worried_Dad
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If you feel okay about telling th world "I cut myself, and its a lifestyle choice and I like it" then what the heck.

But that's probably not true about you. Probably you have some pain in your life.

I think the things is to get at the underlying psychology behind the cutting.

February 5, 2005
10:19 pm
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SweetAmanda
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This one too

February 6, 2005
11:42 am
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dana_b
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You should stop cutting because in your pain, their is a purpose. There is a meaning behind all of your pain and suffering. Cutting is not going to make anything better but hurt you more.

There is an excellent book that I highly recommend, MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING by Victor Frankl. The first part of the book is about the author's optimistic look while persevering in a concentration camp and his theory that every life has meaning. Let me know what you think about it!

February 6, 2005
12:03 pm
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fairy99
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I have a very good frind who cuts herself to bring her back to reality when the pain of her life is too much.

One day she cut herself a bit too deep and had to go to the emergency room. The shock of what she had done made her realize that the cutting was only making it worse. She has then seeked out therapy and has stopped cutting herself.

Reality is just what it is, reality. We all handle things differently. Having a healthy outlet to help work out those aggressions is the best. Try to find a more positive way to handle your pain. Good luck.

~~fairy~~

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