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Why is she doing this?
January 1, 2005
10:26 pm
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Hurts_so_bad
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If I were you, I'd send her fiance a sympathy card for their wedding!

January 2, 2005
7:51 pm
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tigger19703
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hey dude i,ve gone threw the same thing about 5 months ago i know its hard but some times we have to let go my lasted 5 years and 2kids she not only left me also the kids for some time i hated the world but we have to keep our heads up it will get better

January 2, 2005
9:24 pm
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slv
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Hey willitgetbetter,

First of all -- YES it will get better. It's a matter of facing the demons and moving on. All that cliche crap like time heals and stuff... it's true. You fall, you pick yourself up, and you eventually move on. You can do it but you have to want to. No, not that it'll be easy but it can be done.

I agree with Zinne that you should at all costs stop contact with your ex. It's obvious that she is trying to get to you by the details she is giving you in the text messages. For what reason we don't know and you will never ever know. So,I say STOP trying to figure it out and take measures to protect yourself from hearing any information that may be hurtful to you. Go on about your life and under no circumstances should you contact your ex or let you contact you further. Let it go. Leave her in 2004 and if you want you can still make 2005 your year!! YOU CAN DO IT if you want to.

Let me add that while we hurt because of others actions it is not their fault. It's ultimately our own fault even though it's easy to blame the other person. She doesn't make you drink, she doesn't make you feel a certain way... Read this quote with an open mind: "By having expectations I was giving power away. In order to become empowered I had to own that I had choices about how I viewed life, about my expectations. I realized that no one can make me feel hurt or angry - that it is my expectations that cause me to generate feelings of hurt or anger. In other words, the reason I feel hurt or anger is because other people, life, or God are not doing what I want them, expect them, to do."

I know you're hurting and I'm not trying to minimize your feelings... I'm just trying to point out that it will be ok, that it will get better, and that you can have everything you want this year. You just have to really want it and work hard for it.
Start fresh. A New Year without 'her' sounds like a blessing.

You hang in there!! Keep posting here, stop drinking, look for a better job. Make this your year to shine. A life well lived is the best revenge.

🙂

January 3, 2005
12:39 am
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Zinnie
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Hi SLV,

I LOVE that quote... I'm printing it out and putting up on my bulletin board here in my little office.

Thanks!

Willing,

I hope this finds you doing better. Read the quote and really think about it. Is this other person worth so much that you are giving her that much power over your life? She is playing with you and again I have to say that if were this other guy (should he really exist, and is not just a way for her to pick at you) - then I would seriously be wondering why she felt it necessary to "report" back to you what was going on in their new supposedly happy life.

You see when someone has in fact moved on and is making plans and going ahead with their new lives - they do just that, they continue to move forward, and well - LIVE. They do not "report" back to their exes just how wonderful they are doing.

Matter of fact with my very limited experience of ex anything I have to say that the one "serious relationship" I had without getting married - after it ended, really ended, the last thing I would have ever thought of doing was contacting him and telling him how my new relationship was going, or that I was getting married or anything like that - because frankly, it was none of his business.

Keep moving forward, don't look back - except to perhaps learn from your past mistakes.

And those old cliche's? Yes, they do work - that's why they are old cliches.

Z.

January 5, 2005
9:29 am
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betrayed30
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I love that sympathy card idea. Hey I might do that myself..

Sounds like she's not happy in her new relationship..

Do you have a dog?? Get a little paper bag and fill it up with the doggy poop and enclose a little note to her...

Actually I might rethink sending a sympathy card...perhaps a thank you card is in order...

All kidding aside, I'm truly sorry for your pain.
She's seems like an evil person or perhaps just someone who is very unhappy with herself. The pain may feel great now but time will heal.

I would watch out for someone like that. She may never leave you alone and likely doesn't want you to move on. Don't take her wedding and sexual details to heart. Try to look at it logically and realize that if she were having this "awesome" sex life and a planned marriage, she wouldn't be bothering you. She's trying to get under your skin and is FREAKING out because you're not responding the way she wants you to. Believe me, there is nothing normal about planning 2 marriages in this period of time....Heck, even planning one in your life can be a BIG mistake...but that's another issue.
Hopefully in time you will reach a point that you're thankful she left you. Someone is probably looking out for you and a better future is in store for you. You deserve so much better!!!!

Take care

January 5, 2005
10:26 am
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Anonymous
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WHY would you give her that control? You tell me all the time not to give up control now look what you are doing.

January 5, 2005
11:31 am
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ILSILS
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sounds like she is still hung up on you, guessing this marreage wont last long if started this way, hope when she splits with him you will have found someone waY better so you wont go back to her, what a wack job, she wants you to come running, i suggest you start running , but the other direction!

January 5, 2005
11:34 am
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Anonymous
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You take back that control Will, and you remember that this is what she is like. She is just plain hurtful and wanting to get reactions from you. YOU KNOW THIS, and you are better than this. You have your goal of starting your own business, you are probably a great attorney, you have a great daughter, do not let her drag you down into her nasty web of hell.

January 9, 2005
4:18 pm
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heart_broken
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my gf of 7 years did the same to me. She left me for a guy she met 3 weeks ago. Worst of all, she wants me to be friends with her new guy. I did everything in the relationship, went out of my way to help and now she is sleeping with the guy and telling me about it.

No matter how hard I try, it really hurts. To see that the one you loved can change in a matter of 3 weeks. I have stopped thinking from my brain.

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