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Why is she doing this?
January 1, 2005
6:43 am
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willitgetbetter
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Well 2005 has started off so well!!! I got a text from [her] this morning wishing me a happy new year from [her] and her new guy! and..... inviting me to their wedding on 14th February!!!! Why is she being so cruel? Is this really necessary? I was so positive last night, I was going to make 2005 'my' year, now all I can think about is [her] and him, in our bed, doing what we were doing together less than two months ago and making the same marriage plans that we were making! (Yes, we were going to get married this year). Seems that 2005 is going to be much the same as 2004!

January 1, 2005
6:51 am
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SweetAmanda
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Yeah, maybe I'm in a bad mood... But she sounds like a real bitch

No sane person goes and invites an ex to their wedding... Especially their most recent ex, and in such a short time. (When things are still so fresh)

What a whack job. She is trying to get at you.

You are better off without her.

Sorry... That does suck. =(

~Amanda~

January 1, 2005
7:02 am
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willitgetbetter
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Thanks Amanda, I thought I was going nuts! She still knows how to press the 'hurt' button with me but why? Can't she just do what she has to do without dragging me down? It hurts even more because she dumped me! surely it should be me that is trying to get revenge against her for all the hurt she has caused me?

I just want to move on but every step forward I take, she does something like this and I take three steps back! I am hurting so much now.

January 1, 2005
7:05 am
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willitgetbetter
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Thanks Lisset, I never thought I would suffer like this again. I thought I was over all the crap, but she is determined to kick me till I am down and then kick me even more.

January 1, 2005
7:10 am
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SweetAmanda
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willitgetbetter

((((((((((These are the most gentle hugs ever!!!!!))))))))))

*For someone who is down & out*

January 1, 2005
7:16 am
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willitgetbetter
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Thank you Amanda,

January 1, 2005
7:17 am
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SweetAmanda
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hmmm

Let’s think of an *evil* wedding gift to send to her! Bwahahahahahah!

She may not even get married. If she does I would put money on a divorce (or two) in her future.

Am I in a mood or what? lol

So, any ideas on a gift? It's got to be baaaaad. Like a book on 'how to have a secret extra-martial affair' or, something nasty: "dear darling, this is for when you get that ODOR, you know, when you do that thing... Best Wishes!"

lol what a hoot!

January 1, 2005
7:21 am
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willitgetbetter
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Amanda, i'm gonna start a new thread on this one! SC might not be happy but i'll give it a go! You have made me laugh so much, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou.

January 1, 2005
7:23 am
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mamacinnamon
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That is the most insensitive thing to do. I agree w/ Amanda. What a witch! She obviously has no integrity.

I am so sorry it hurt you so bad. You were doing so much better too. Try to just get up and shake it off like dirt on the bottom of your shoe. You deserve more and you will find better eventually.

January 1, 2005
7:23 am
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SweetAmanda
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I was afraid you would be angry

but I had to try

=)

January 1, 2005
7:26 am
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SweetAmanda
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yeah. So... My name is Amanda. I am single. 20 years old.

oh man. I haven't had any sleep. I'm laughing at my OWN come ons!

January 1, 2005
7:34 am
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willitgetbetter
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Amanda, thats my problem, I don't get angry and perhaps I should!

Mamacinnamon, she is dirt, I know that and you know what, this marriage just aint gonna last. She will put him through the same shit she has put me and the others through. Good luck to him.

The thing is, I think i have found better. I have moved on and am seeing someone....baby steps at the moment....... I don't rub her nose in it so why does she do it to me?

January 1, 2005
7:36 am
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willitgetbetter
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Amanda, Honey i'm on my way......lol

January 1, 2005
7:50 am
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SweetAmanda
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oh darn...

but you are seeing someone!

*sniffles*

I am always the last to know!

lol

January 1, 2005
8:15 am
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willitgetbetter
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Oh Amanda.....it is just 'baby steps', nothing serious!! lol

January 1, 2005
9:26 am
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Zinnie
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Because she is a kook and a half.

"Mother Hen Zinnie" here giving the same advice as always...

1. Block her text ID's etc. from all of your incoming whatevers... IM, e-mail, handy set.

OR - delete YOUR accounts with the name she knows and just set up new ones.

2. Block her phone number from your phones - all of them.

OR - change your phone number, and ask "mutual friends" to please not give out your new one.

Don't lower yourself to her standards by sending anything, or even giving her a response.

But... then again - there is the "Evil Z!" who says - go to a florist shop, pay in cash, send one dozen sprayed black roses to the wedding.

Must be the pain meds.

January 1, 2005
9:43 am
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Alegab
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Will- I am so sorry to hear about your pain. I agree with Zinnie. Don't let her push your buttons. Just remember "what goes around comes around." She is not deserving of your love and caring.

When you least expect it the "right" person will come along. The wound is still fresh and you are hurting, its only natural. Your thought about anger is ok but put it where it belongs. Don't internalize it, SHE is your anger. A suggestion- write a hate letter with whatever you feel but don't send it. Read it as many times as needed to see it in black and white and set in your head what she is really about.

You'll think back on her maybe a few months from now and say "what a waste."

Time is a healer.

Good luck to you. You are worth it.

Alegab

January 1, 2005
11:18 am
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CAMER
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Will,,,,,this girl is a nut job! why she would invite you to the wedding or even tell you about it, is insane...she hurt you enough, why throw more gas into the fire. Let her go, she will end up "getting hers" down the road...what comes around does go around. You are so much better off without her. I wish you a happy 2005, and hope your day gets a lil' brighter...love, camer

January 1, 2005
12:24 pm
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sdesigns
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Willit: That was mean and cruel of her to do that. The question is why would she even bother if she has moved on and is getting married to someone else? And why do this on New Year's Day? She obviously isn't settled and happy in her new relationship and has to take it oout on you. BE GLAD you're not hooked up with her anymore. See what you are learning about her character? She's not well. Hopefully you will follow our beloved "Mother Hen's" advice. There is nothing but more pain and aggravation to come from this woman.

I wish you all the best for this New Year and that only good things come your way. SD

January 1, 2005
12:36 pm
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readyforachange
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willitgetbetter.....

what a mean and cruel thing to do to you...my ex is behaving badly already this new year too. Looks like some people just can't quit, can they? Well, we have to remember that we can't control them or change them, so we'll just have to let go. Please take care of yourself....don't allow this to ruin your new year...

January 1, 2005
12:45 pm
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sewunique
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Willing,

This is so cruel. But what would you expect from an idiot? Stupid things.

While reading all your responses to your thread, as I can agree with all the feelings and wisdom of our AAC family, I was trying to think of the upside of this, if there be one.

All I can come up with is this: her doing this only reflects upon her integrity as a person and her stupidity and reluctance to think of your feelings and respect of you. Bottom line, for me, I would just say; "yah, what an idiotic thing to do, only proves once again that she is not worth having me, and I am glad that I don't have her anymore. Poor guy marrying her, what a sucker." That's what I would say to myself for re-validation of that bad relationship with a very sefish, cold hearted person!!!

Sending you ((((warm hugs to you))) you are worth so much more goodness that having her. Good ridance to her and get out of your life. Makes me mad she did this.

Sew

January 1, 2005
7:46 pm
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willitgetbetter
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Thank you all so very much. Zinnie, I will follow your advice, including the flowers! No, not really, I wouldn't waste my money, or time. I had more text messages from her tonight telling me they have been in bed all day and she described what they had been doing, in graphic detail.

Hey, you know what? She can't hurt me any more, not tonight anyway because I have numbed it with drink. I feel disgusted with myself that I have had a drink after 3 months of abstinence and that bitch has been the cause of it again.

Because of her I am on anti depressants, I lost my job, my home and now i'm drinking again. She will kill me, I know it. Is this what she is trying to do?

January 1, 2005
8:02 pm
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CAMER
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Will, don't let her have the power over what you do, you are in control of your own life, whatever choices she makes is her issue, how you REACT to this will be yours. Boozing will not help, will only temp numb the pain...don't let this be a losing battle for you. You are stronger than that, and better than that. Please keep coming back here and posting, you have so much support going your way! ((camer)))

January 1, 2005
8:15 pm
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willitgetbetter
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You know what Camer, it is you and the rest of the guys here that keep me going. I know I am strong, I have been getting stronger day by day but then she seems to want to destroy me and i'm letting her. I am over her, I have someone else, but just as I am getting happy she screws my mind!

I know she has BPD, (well that's my opinion!), I have read "I hate you don't leave me" and "stop Walking on Eggshells", but how could she love me so much one day then want to destroy me the next? Perhaps i'll never know the answer. I've had a drink tonight but tomorrow no more.

January 1, 2005
10:17 pm
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Zinnie
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So then follow my advice boyo... BLOCK HER MESSAGES or change your addy.

Just get rid of her, she is a deadly toxic being.

No one even anywhere near the realm of normal is not going to send out messages like that to anyone, much less an ex.

Look at it this way - this poor schmuck is really that. I mean if some guy I was dating had me in his bed all day and was texting his ex about it... uh, I would get up and leave.

Block her and get rid of her once and for all and take care of yourself. You are right, you lost everything because of her. Don't lose the last remaining bits of pride you have left, actually regain them by completely cutting her from your life.

And the flowers? Buy them for yourself then.

Z.

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