Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
why do people lie about abuse?
July 9, 2009
7:36 am
Avatar
bonni
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My sil is lying about my bil being violent and abusive. i know i'm not there, but i've known them both a long time. she is controlling, dramatic and an alcoholic. he moved out to escape the drama and frankly, her abusive treatment of him. He (like his brothers) is very passive and hard to anger. I've never even seen him angry. He runs regularly. He's visited us recently and I see none of what she alleges. The allegations started the second time he asked her to sign the divorce agreement.

This upsets me because I KNOW that there are alot of women in ACTUAL abusive situations who fear for their lives and she is manipulating the system and her children to vent her pain and anger. She is very angry and vindictive. She is not afraid and I don't think she's thinking at all. I think she believes these lies and I think she is possibly in need of serious psychiatric help. If you look at her claims as projection, then its clear that she does need help, maybe commitment?

In the meantime, her children are in terrible pain. They have no one who cares what happens to them. She is self-destructing and he can't see the children. It appears that her only interaction with her children is to run down their father and any one who doesn't believe her unsubstantiated lies.

bonni

July 9, 2009
7:55 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dontcha just hate that. I am sorry. Is there any way you can see the children more. I am still damaged from a family that didn't care enough about me to give me a little relief from my alcoholic mother.

Bitsy

July 9, 2009
9:14 am
Avatar
atalose
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 18
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Is the reason your bil can’t see his children because she made a legal complain of abuse against him?

Have they gone to court over this yet?

What kind of relationship do you have with her, as Bisty suggested is it possible for you to visit and see the children?

As for her lying is seems to go hand n hand with being an alcoholic.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

July 9, 2009
6:10 pm
Avatar
bonni
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

we live about nine hours by car away. I think the kids are so brainwashed by their mom they can't see the truth.

July 9, 2009
6:28 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

can't the bil take her (the mom/your sis) TO COURt FOR legal visitation rights?? or did she slander her hubby and said he was an unfit dad??

July 9, 2009
6:31 pm
Avatar
bonni
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

so far, she has a protective order limiting visits to supervised only. she can't substantiate her claims, but the judge made a ruling.

I fully believe she is lying. I think she needs psychiatric help. I think the kids need somewhere neutral to be. I extended an invitation. It probably won't be well received.

bonni

July 9, 2009
6:38 pm
Avatar
Hepburn
Los Angeles, California
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 104
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi bonni,

Well.....I'm sorry to hear about this. I'm a little shocked that you are experiencing this situation, since it's EXACTLY what my bf is going through. Remember my thread on the ultimatum?

His x has brainwashed his children as well. My bf moved out to escape her wrath as well, and because he left her, doesn't mean he left his children. These women don't see it that way, and because they are so angry and bitter they will use their children as weapons.

If she's as bad as my bf's x, the courts will side with her because she has control over the children. Because she is so miserable, she will lie, cheat, use, calculate, and do whatever it takes to make his life miserable.

I wish your bil luck.

July 9, 2009
6:41 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

is there any way your bil can show proof that your sis is not telling the truth and can be an unfit mom??

July 9, 2009
6:59 pm
Avatar
bonni
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

eerie Hep. I would like to buy my BIL a clue. He is not being assertive at all. They are both totally dropping the ball. Like somehow their personal trauma negates their responsibility to these children.

Camer, If he would step up and do something, I think he could challenge her unsubstantiated claims. I want to scream.

Oh well, I will go for a run.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
32
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111092
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38644
Posts: 714465
Newest Members:
graydor, doctorelvis, lion heart, thomson, BenjaminGresham, answerhope
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information