Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
why do men behave in different way in public
January 11, 2006
5:55 am
Avatar
koceski
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi hope eveyone is alright.the subject about which i like to get khow your thoughts is about my boyfriend.he is nice person but sometimes it gets hard to understand him.when two of us together,he is so cute,understanding and carer.but when we are in public, he behaves different ,he sometimes gets ageinst me for silly things.sometimes he tells me off when his and my friends are around.i feel he is away from me when we are with others.have you got any idea of why he behaves that way and what the reason of this behaviour difference.

January 11, 2006
6:02 am
Avatar
mosher1yr
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

He wants to be sweet but at the same time he doesnt want to seem weak......i use to be like that after time it slowly died out.

January 11, 2006
6:46 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

koceski,

He might be a people pleaser ... tries to win approval of those around and if so, it sounds like he's using you as a scapegoat.

He might just fear that others won't feel the same about you that he does, and is trying to deflect anticipated criticism in advance.

He sounds like I used to be. I felt others would criticize me for my choice of a gf, until I learned to not worry about how they might react.

In any event, this behavior is not good. I'd talk to him about it. If he doesn't change it, it will very likely destroy your relationship.

January 11, 2006
9:44 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How was he raised?

alot of guys were raised to be macho and the one that wears the pants, so to speak.

so, at home, he may feel comfortable being a big teddy bear, but in public, he may think he has to act "macho" and dominant. And his going against you or putting you down is his way of looking like he isn't "whipped".

Think of things you see on TV - when the boys are out and one of them says they have to call and check in with their GF - the rest ride him and say he's "whipped".

I think guys are programmed by society about their macho behaviour as much as women are about being thin.

I think that if you talk to him and tell him that it hurts your feelings when he does this and if he has any grievance with you, to wait until you are alone to discuss it with you, then things can get better. Explain that you don't feel like he is being respectful when he puts you down or corrects you in front of other people.

Hope this helps.

January 11, 2006
9:55 am
Avatar
hbdude2k
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

seekerw hit it on the spot....I used to be that way sometimes just to please other friends and show that I am not weak. I was lying to myself all the time. I have since changed that attitude and don't care even if friends see me cry now...Its a great feeling to be free...Now, if you confront him about it, he will probably be in full denial. That is the way most men are. That is the way I was. My excuse was that I am just being myself when really I was pleasing someone else and not being me....It took 8 months of counseling before I really got it. This is just my point of view from the male half....

January 11, 2006
1:51 pm
Avatar
Anam Cara
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 19
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think it maybe that he sees you as a powerful women and others perceive you as such. So what would make him powerful in others eyes. To put you down - apes do it all the time.
AC

January 18, 2006
3:00 am
Avatar
612PEZ
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

SO true

January 18, 2006
3:35 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Do you live in the United States??? Is English you 1st language. Please take your time....

January 18, 2006
9:58 pm
Avatar
beenajerk
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

This guy sounds insecure to me and may be afraid of losing you. I'd guess he feels weak and tries to make up for it in public by the behavior you described. I'd also guess that you're very outgoing, popular and pretty and he has a hard time figuring out how to hold onto you? Is that so?

January 18, 2006
10:31 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

612,

I would like to understand more about why you made this statement.

As it stands, I disagree, wholeheartedly...

At the risk of sounding like an episode of Reading Rainbow, I propose that stereotypes anywhere, promote ignorance everywhere.

January 19, 2006
6:09 am
Avatar
beenajerk
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

First, I have opinions just like you.
Second, just because people sterotype, dosen't necessarily invalidate the opinion. We're not doing college theses here; we're offering opinions. If you don't like the opinion, dismiss it and move on. Fortunately, we don't all think alike.

January 19, 2006
6:55 am
Avatar
delicate
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ladies please, we are suppose to be helping eachother, so what is the problem here. Men in public behaving differently, some do,,because probably they have to prove something due to insecurities. Others dont, because.....they dont give a .......
I find that the ones who treated people badly in public, cant get away with it at home.

January 19, 2006
7:19 am
Avatar
beenajerk
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

We are not all ladies here.

January 19, 2006
9:36 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

“First, I have opinions just like you.”

I don’t remember challenging that.

“Second, just because people stereotype, doesn’t necessarily invalidate the opinion.”

I disagree. I won't speak for all stereotypes today -only the one in question. In this case, use of the term “men” is a far reaching, all inclusive countdown of the male gender. In the context above, the term falsely ascribes a single behavior to ALL men…or stereotypes men.

Personally, I can’t think of a single behavior that consistent among all the members my family, least of all, an entire gender.

I’m not here to validate or invalidate anyone's opinions, only to be true to my own.

I agree with your statement above-we are here to offer opinions. I have read yours and think I understand them. Here are mine: it is important to see men and women as individuals as opposed to reps of a collective gender… It is important to be willing to obtain the information necessary for making fair judgments as opposed to passing other types of judgments off as the truth.

I too find it fortunate that we don't all think alike, but I reserve the right to express my disagreement with anyone at will. Not in a "mean to you" kind of way; naaah, not my goal! Just in a "nice to me" kind of way.

January 19, 2006
9:38 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Delicate!

I really appreciate what you said and the spirit in which you said it.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
29
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110928
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38539
Posts: 714213
Newest Members:
LarteyWellnessGroup, dr ado spell caster, Leslie Ann Satin, overmyhead201, delight1080, laticia1
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer