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Why do I still love Him?
September 26, 2008
5:20 am
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chupps
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September 24, 2010
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Thank you every one for your support. It really did help me to face a few facts. The update is, that yesterday was the final straw with this man. After phone calls and txt's I have finally let go. I was being used, abused and blamed by him. His inadequacies in life greatly outweigh mine. it still hurts this morning, and I realise it will hurt for a little longer,but I dont want to go back there anymore, he is a closing chapter in my book. This morning I stood in my garden and realised just how fortunate I am, I have a lovely house, a lovely garden and I am working towards a sucessful business. I stood there and looked at my chickens, and realised they were beautiful, and that together we would make the business grow, and the fact that I will never allow anyone anymore to redicule what I do, and have a passion for. I guess, I was with him because at the time he was an escape from home and family worries, but then I end up falling in love, with a person I wouldn't give a second glance to. I felt sorry for him and his situation that he was in. But thinking back now, he was in that situation because he made it like that. He craves the drama and appreciation of his boss and their family, and allows then to treat him like a slave, whilst they sit back and take the riches. I have at last faced the fact that I can no longer help him, as he doesn't have the courage or the want to change. It is hard work to face the truths that are in front of you, and I have had to do it, and it is the easy option to stay where you are, but life really doesn't get any better by taking that easy option. I have suffered depression for many many years but I have fought back against it, it has been very hard sometimes, but I have made it through and now sitting here I realise that I don't or will not let this man take me down with him. We all have the ability within us to change and make ourselves better, be we have to want to do it. I want to do it.
The last thing I said to this man was 'if you want to sit in the s**t, then don't complain about the smell'
I would like to thank you all again for your sincere advice, and truths.

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