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Why Do I feel Like This Man Is My Drug?? Help
November 14, 2006
2:02 pm
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bittersweet2
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I really do not know what to do. I really feeling I am going crazy. I still obsessed with this married man even though he treats me bad, and his wife called the other day. I am still trying to contact him. I am saying it will be closure, but it's like he is like a drug to me he has been for 6 years. I feel like I am going through withdrawl mentally and physically. If he would just call and say something these symptoms would go away and I would feel better but he won't. I have a horrible empty feeling in my stomach. Even though I fell for him I know he did not care it was just sex 4 him, but in my mind I still need contact. I am a wrech right now. What will I do without my drug him.

November 14, 2006
2:08 pm
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MissNhimnotWantN2
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Gosh I can relate to your pain. I know it is gut-rentching. But I dont know what else to tell you but you MUST MUST MUST end it yourself! More than likely if you stop trying to contact him, he will try to contact you. Now this doesnt mean to respond to him. By all means- DONT.

YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS!! Go see your counselor again. Find someone to talk to, post here, whatever you have to do. Just dont contact him anymore! Everytime you do that, he thinks LESS of you, and you think LESS of yourself for doing it.

STOP.

Hugs, and caring, and love.
for you.

give some to yourself.

November 14, 2006
2:10 pm
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southgoingzax
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hi bittersweet:

it does sound like you are addicted to this man. I'm sorry you are in so much pain - I have felt that panic SO many time before, and it is the worst feeling in the world. You feel like you are going to die.

first, take a deep breath - try to step outside yourself for now - look at it from outside: your frantic calls look pathetic and desperate from the outside. It looks like you have NO self-esteem. Sorry if that hurts, but it's true - you know what you need to do (stop calling) but it is carrying through on that action that is hard. I know you don't care about how desperate you look right now, you don't care about self-esteem, all you can focus on is getting a response from him...you've constricted your entire world to this one tiny point, and you can't see outside it. But you can do this. Realize that he will not call you back unless and until he is ready. You can not control him. You can't make him respond. Try to let go, a little bit, so that you can breathe.

I'll be around for a while, if you need someone to talk to,

zax

November 14, 2006
3:27 pm
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StronginHim77
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bittersweet -

If this man were decent and honorable, he would not have been living a "double life" with you and his wife. That sure doesn't say much for his character. And if he is willing to betray his marriage vows to his wife (for YEARS?), IMAGINE what else he is capable of?

I am sure he has been less than truthful with you over the years you have been with him.

Now that you know the truth about him and know that he is NOT AVAILABLE, you need to step back from him. It will hurt, but it would be very unhealthy to you, trying to salvage a relationship with an open adulterer.

Even if he were to leave his wife for you, (and it doesn't sound like that is the case), he would just turn around and do the same thing to you that he did to his wife. Married men who commit adultery DO NOT CHANGE. They just morph into a new relationship with fresh prey.

- Ma Strong

November 14, 2006
6:19 pm
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bittersweet2
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I really am glad you are all here to support me, because noone would understand this situation. The crazy thing I do go to counceling and we try to talk about things to do when I feel like contacting him. I just really wonder if this all has to do with my dad dying when I was 14, because it may sound crazy but I always thought of him like this father figure protector, even though he really wasn't. I always tell him to be there for his kids be a good dad. I don't know why I say that. When my dad was alive all my childhood he was an alcoholic. When he stopped drinking I think he had some mental problems,never went out of house thought people were talking about him. I never really came to term with my brothers best friend touching me inappropriately when I was like 10 he was 14. I don't know I wonder is that why I am fucked up. Why I feel I need this man and I take his abuse, and keep going back 4 more.

November 17, 2006
4:24 am
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thedogsmom
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addicted.

it's like you're a drug. it's like you're a demon i can't face down. it's like i'm stuck. it's like i'm running from you all the time. and i know i let you have all the power. i'ts like the only company i seek . is misery all around. i'ts like you're a leach. sucking the life from me. it's like i can't breathe. without you inside of me. and i know i let you. have all the power. and i realize i'm never gonna. quit you over time. i'ts like i can't breathe. i'ts like i can't see anything. nothing but you. i'm addicted to you. i'ts like i can't think . without you interrupting me. in my thoughts. in my dreams .you've taken over me. i'ts like i'm not me. it's like i'm not me. it's like i'm lost. it's like i'm giving up slowly. it's like you're a ghost. that's haunting me. leave me alone. and i know these voices in. my head are mine alone. and i know i'll never change my ways. if i don't give you up now. i'm hooked on you. i need a fix. i can't take it. just one more hit. i promise i can deal with it. i'll handle it. quit it. just one more time. then that's it. just a little bit more to get me through this.

written by kelly clarkson/david hodges/ben Moody- kelly clarkson

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