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why do I deserve this from him???
February 1, 2005
10:47 am
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starryslp
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I know that some of you are going to be frusturated with this post, but I need to vent.

I talked for 2 hours with my ex last night, he had for some reason felt a need to be honest with me.

He told me about all the girls he slept with while we were together...and it was a lot..some married girls....etc.....He told me how he got so sick of our fighting that he didn't want to sleep with me because of it.

He told me about how much he loved his pregnant girl at first, cause she let him drink all day, and hang out with his buddies....but now he hates her, cause she expects something from him. He said he didn't even want to be there when the baby was born- which just makes me think he is an ass...all of this did.

But then he says, he wants to figure things out with our situation, not quite yet, but after he has had a little fun and stuff.

I dont know what to do....I am not thinking of things working out with us....I am not really thinking I like him...I am mostly upset because I don't understand what gives him the right to think he can treat me this way. Why do I deserve this. I guess I can appreciate his honesty...but isn't it a little late??? Why does he think he can go on and on playing games with me, and that I should just come back to him......

February 1, 2005
10:53 am
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Anonymous
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First of all, I wouldn't even appreciate his honesty. He is being honest to self serve himself into being the good guy where he can throw it back at you and say well I was honest.

Second of all, how NICE of him to be honest about ALL the girls he cheated on you with, and how NICE of him to tell you that if you two hadn't been fighting then he would have wanted to have sex with you. PLEASEEEE

And how NICE Of him to let you know that he isn't done fucking around yet but would like you to wait so that when he is ready you will be there for him.

And thirdly HOW NICE of him to show that he really doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself by letting you know that he only liked the prego girl because she let him do what he wanted and THEN when she actually demanded a little respect in return he said no way.

What a NICE guy.

February 1, 2005
11:01 am
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jewel
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What an asshole.

February 1, 2005
11:02 am
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addicts wife
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not only do you NOT deserve any of that, but You shouldnt even entertain a nconversation with him... He actually said he wanted to work things out AFTER he F's a few more women, and goes out ot get drunk (or whatever??? IS he like 16???
Recess is OVER.. tome to grow the heck up. Not only was that "honesty" mean, hurtful, but It sounds like his so called honesty was very arrogant,cocky and manipulaive.
Change your phone ##, block your emails etc.... GET AWAY. You deserve to be treated with respect,courtesy, kindness, decency, and NOT be treated like a door mat..... Sorry if I am being harsh, but This is NOT what "healthy peole do to each other... He is an arrogany, cocky, person who has A lot of nerve talking to you that way. there is a difference between HONESTY, and being downright dicky. I would have vomitted after that conversation!

February 1, 2005
11:09 am
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addicts wife
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I cant get this ASSHOLE's "comments out of my mind!!!!!!
Grrrrrrrrr. the NERVE, and audacity to brag, and blame YOU for wanting a healthy relationship........
whaaaaaa.. poor baby cant go fuck everything that moves get wasted and still have you to slither back to///
DAMN STRAIGHT he cant, woman, IF he wants to go be a Mimbo, or act like that then he should just go do it, YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS, NO ONE DOES, and th fact that he had the nerve to blame you is an excuse of an asshole. It's like the guys who say" well i ve bee naccused of cheating, so I should just go cheat, its her fault..."
Hello??? GO in front of your Mirror right now and tell yourself you rock, Tell yourself that you'r a worthy person, that you have every right to be treated like a QUEEN, say it until you beleive it.. then go change your phone ###, ad make sure its unlisted... Go HUG yourself from all of us too... right now... GO do it!!!!

February 1, 2005
11:13 am
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Hurts_so_bad
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That man must have ice water flowing through his veins! He is such a loser! How dare he think that you would take him back

February 1, 2005
11:26 am
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sdesigns
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Hi Starry: Look at it this way. He is just giving you even more of a picture of what he is like, what he will continue to be, and what life would be like with him. Pure hell. Its not just you he's treating like crap, its everyone he comes in contact with. I know its hard but try not to take it personally. This is just what it is like to be in his world. SD

February 1, 2005
12:00 pm
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starryslp
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He is 33, and a soldier...just to update you addict.

He also asked me if I thought girls liked him because he has such a soft heart......

February 1, 2005
12:04 pm
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Anonymous
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Starry,

You don't deserve this from him. No one does. I look at what you wrote--the things he told you, and I see nothing but destruction.

Look at the destruction he is causing in these other women! Look at the destruction he is willing to perpetuate on to another generation! A child HE fathered!!! Look at the destruction he has left in his wake in your life!

You need disaster relief, along with all his other victims. I hope you are able to find the person you deserve to have!!!

Love,

Ren'ai

February 1, 2005
12:06 pm
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whitelight
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soft heart? soft mind is more like it.

Oh honey, you deserve SO MUCH better than this!

Bear in mind that even worst looser can look pretty spiffy in a uniform. Don't let it sway you...

Been there--done that, now I have herpes.

Smiles to you

February 1, 2005
2:37 pm
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starryslp
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Is it possible that someone can be in this much denial??

February 1, 2005
2:43 pm
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marley
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YES YES YES YES - it is totally possible. But I think after reading this that you need to walk away from this man. It sounds like he collects women the way some people collect stamps or something. He obviously cannot commit to a relationship and he apparently doesn't really know himself very well if he is constantly leap frogging from one girl to another. It shows a real fear of intimacy.

February 1, 2005
2:47 pm
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addicts wife
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Have you told yourself in the mirrior that YOU ROCK , that you are worthy of respect, andLove yet???
I think youre worth it....
he doesnt Desrve YOU

February 1, 2005
2:48 pm
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kathygy
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Yes, someone can be in this much denial and utter lack of self awareness. He sucks. He said alot of things to hurt you. You don't deserve that. Break ties with this loser immediately. He's very selfish and imature.

February 1, 2005
2:50 pm
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Phalic_Liberator
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Why does he think he can go on playing games with you. Because you listen to him eviscerate you sexually for two hours by letting him tell tale of his sexual exploits that didn't include you. Because you put up with it. No contact means NO contact.

He's not calling to be honest with you. He's calling to manipulate you and make you feel worthless. No contact means NO contact.

No contact means if he calls you that there is no word that is uttered from him that prevents you from hanging up the phone immediately after you know it's him. Stop being a victim. There are better men. He isn't worth it.

You are so much better than what you are getting from him.

February 1, 2005
3:17 pm
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sewunique
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Starry,

Just on for a minute.

Gosh I'm sorry you are still feeling so bad about this guy. Maybe you're hanging on for a while to sort things out for yourself? But, you do not derserve this! You deserve better.

Seems like he is airing out his 'dirty laudry' and you're just getting the stench of it all.

He feels compelled to be honest with you, or better yet, himself right now? Either way, you're just available in his eye for his dumping his woes on you. A bit too late? Let him go to a confessional if he needs confession. Or to his Higher Power, not you. He is just putting salt into your wounds with all this neediness of his

And you are trying to get healed from all this. Tell him your're not his sounding board, you have better things to do; that is, in taking care of Starry.

I shrug away from nfgative people more these days and seek out the cherrier ones. Makes for a happier life, energy well spent, gives me even more energy. You are number one.

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