Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
Why do I always feel second best?
March 13, 2010
6:53 pm
Avatar
BAREFOOTGIRL
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I have two good friends whom I known bout a year or so...They spend alot of time with me but I also know they get together with other families, and do alot of fun things together and I heard bout it often....my two friends do not seem to want to include me and my family in their lives, they include just me...our children get along and go to school together. My husband is shy but he is a nice person....I just feel as if I am second choice or the backup girl when no one else is around, oddly enough my daughter feels this way when she is around my ones friends daughter whom I feel this with...

Are we just jealous or is this something I am not aware of...or is it just I have only a few friends and they have ALOT and it just feels that way cause I am jealous?

I was wondering what you all thought of this..thanks for reading and your help!

March 13, 2010
6:57 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

maybe your 2 friends are more "best friends" and you are just a good friend. Who knows?? You could always ask why they don't include your family in your life and see what they say.

I myself, have friends, and know "their" friends...but i do know my friends have better/closer friends than I do, if that makes sense and that is ok, I may not be the "best friend" but I am a good friend 🙂

March 13, 2010
7:01 pm
Avatar
BAREFOOTGIRL
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It just seems that i am not ever a best friend, just a good friend, like a bridesmaid but never a bride kind of thing!

Maybe I am making too much out of it too, maybe your right here....

I am not sure why i do not ask them, maybe I am scared to ask, I think that is what it is...

March 13, 2010
7:05 pm
Avatar
BAREFOOTGIRL
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I do go to great lengths to be a very good friend...I am always there to lend a hand, do whatever is helpful and I try to be understanding, insightful and kind....

But I feel i can not do enough sometimes, or that i come up short often....

March 13, 2010
8:24 pm
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

barefoot, if they're good friends of yours, they won't mind you asking questions...that's what friends are for.....yeah, maybe you are fearful of what the answer may be, but you will never know unless you ask 🙂

I too, feel like i can't have a best friend, that all my friends have "other" best buddies....but thats ok.......don't ever feel that you can not do enough, if you treat people (your friends) the way you'd want to be treated, then you have done your work.

((camer)))

March 13, 2010
8:55 pm
Avatar
Mugsie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

All you can do is your best for your friends, and if you know you are doing your best to help them, then do not think you haven't done enough. If your friends respect the help you lend, they should, at the very least, show some appreciation with a "thank you" or "don't hesitate to ask for our help." As far as feeling second best, tell them you feel like this and ask them, in a sincere and tactful way, why you and your family are not included. Maybe preface it by saying something like..."I respect the fact that we are friends and I would like to ask you something about the way I am feelings...."

(((Mugsie)))

March 14, 2010
8:55 am
Avatar
BAREFOOTGIRL
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((thank you guys))) that was sweet advice, I know I should do that but I am fearful, I agree:)

March 16, 2010
1:36 am
Avatar
bblue
Canada
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sometimes we are so busy worrying about why we are not the "best friend" that we don't act like one. I personally know I am aloof and preoccupied quite often. I have a different personality and alot of people thought I was standoffish or such.

BBlue

March 16, 2010
9:44 am
Avatar
cancer
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

What is the definition of a BEST FRIEND really, a friend is a friend, i put myself out so many times for friends that i am always left with the shitty end of the stick, that now i am learning to be strong, get myself confidence back that i dont need anyone to make me feel good about myself, i know i am a good friend and what i do as a good friend, but if its not appreciated, its their lost. I think to myself my husband and kids should be my best friends b/c at the end of the day, they are my strenght and inspiration, who sees me at my best and worst and still loves me.

March 16, 2010
9:58 am
Avatar
truthBtold
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

BFG,

I read once where people are friends 'in spots.'

You know?

I have a best friend. I think that alot of it has to do with having very similar temperments.

We are both just pretty laid back and try not to take ourselves too seriously.

Maybe you just haven't found someone yet where your temperments are similar and compatible?

That's a possibility.........

March 17, 2010
12:41 am
Avatar
bblue
Canada
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 10
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You also have different best friends - a best friend to say "horse back ride with" because you share a common interest but maybe not the person you'd spend a weekend shopping with...

I more like to have "true" friends than a best friend

BBlue

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
34
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111165
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
anissafield, Aemorph, CaitlynForlong, AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information