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Why Cant I Trust??
November 11, 2005
6:09 pm
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Jess for TLC
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September 29, 2010
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hi everyone its been a long time since i have come on here.. I feel like im losing my self again. i thought i was happy at the start and now im getting more depressed everyday i feel like im going in the hole again (as i call it) i started a new job about 4 months ago and i thought that is what i need a new change from my old one to start looking faward in my life. ever since 2 months ago i have not been happy there at all. i dot like some of the people and i dont like the manager the way he runs things plus its not much more money that what i was getting before. its just no me and its getting to me. im looking for a job at the momment. With the fustrations that i have for work i come home and i take it out on my bf. i try and pick fights with him to get rid of the anger. lalty me and my bf have been constanlty fighting over everything we have been togther for 6 months and he is the best thing that has happend to me he has changed my life and me around i was so so happy when i met him and i also what as that other job. the thing is i dont trust him there was an iccedent at the start with his ex and thats fixed up but i feel like he is going to cheat on me i think its me personaly. when i was at school people you use do things and i thought they were my friends but really they werent ever since then i feel like there is always a catch to something and i cant get that out of my head. it gets so bad i have gone through is phone, called people and gone on the computer and stuff and followed him. its im scared something is going to happen and i dont want to get hurt i feel i need to have some control. i know its sounds bad but i know its not him i dont think, but its me and i need to help get past this beucase me and my bf are on a break and i want to be with him but its tearing our relationship apart can you please help me.

November 11, 2005
6:24 pm
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Randomwomen2
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If he has cheated in the past you have a good reason for your fears of him cheating on you. Have you two tryed coupples counceling or even singles counceling? It would be a great start on your road to healing

November 11, 2005
6:31 pm
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kc30
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September 27, 2010
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In my experience, if my guts are leading me to checking phones and computers, than something is very wrong in my relationship. There is nothing wrong with you for not trusting him. Please don't do yourself disservice by discounting your feelings! They are valid and appropriate and don't need to be justified.

I can really relate to waiting for the bottom to fall out. I've learned that this is a very common feeling among codependants...probably because growing up...the bottom usually did fall out!

I learned that the world is not safe when I was young...and that peace is just a blip on the chaos radar...not to be trusted!

Is it possible you also have issues with codependancy? You do sound very attached to your boyfriend even though you do not trust him. And, to me, 6 months is not a very long time to feel as strongly as you seem to feel about him.

Too much too soon in relationships is another mark of codependancy.

Perhaps it's something to look into?

peace
kc

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