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Why can't I let go of him??!!
August 18, 2004
3:45 pm
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jenjenRPR
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September 24, 2010
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I have been in this 7-year on-and-off-again relationship -- we even have been married and divorced! -- that is the most unhealthiest thing for me. He treats me like my dad treated me -- like dirt. I can consciously see that and recognize it, but here we are back together again -- and I initiated it!!! Why can't I break this cycle??? I am so sick of being me.

August 18, 2004
4:52 pm
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madame
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Because you continue to put man before your creator in your life. I am going through this same drama. And not for the first time, but, this time around, I have opened the door for deep, knowledge seeking spirituality. I am reading the wonderful book, The Purpose Driven Life. With daily chapters to keep you grounded and reminded, there is more to the purpose of your life than wasting it with this man. I almost initiated it too, then I pictured it. After we got out of bed, maybe had breakfast, by noon he will have a drink in his hand and my stomach would turn at that very thought. He may never change, but I certainly have. I know, for certain, that I will not look back. I have put a padlock on that door to inviting him in my life, and I threw away the key. With three kids in towe, I do not care. I have absolute faith, that my saviour will make a way for me. Even when I cannot see it. I believe it everyday. The only way to leave is to acquire such faith. Just try it.

August 18, 2004
4:53 pm
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fairy99
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September 27, 2010
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Jen

I know your pain, and what helped me was admitting I was co-dependant and getting professional help to help me break the cycle. Mine was 12 years of yo-yoing back and forth till I finally couldn't take it anymore. If I hadn't gone to counceling I would have probably killed myself from the shame I was putting myself thru. PLease egt some help and talk to everyone here. This site is great for everyone. Good luck.

August 18, 2004
5:28 pm
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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Jen, you should ask yourself why you put up with him,if you cannot stand the way he treats you...you have to beleive in yourself and know you deserve better, you were even married and divorced from him....and things have not changed....why not try to break free from this cycle and keep reading coda books and try life on your own for a while. Only you can do this...good luck!!! camer

August 18, 2004
5:43 pm
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jenjenRPR
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I think I have a fear of being alone.
My parents are both deceased and I have no siblings. Yet I seek stability and security from a man who cannot even take care of himself!! How absurd!! Should I go bang my head against the wall a couple more thousand times? I went to therapy for years, and not once did any of them mention "codependency." When I read the book, a bell rang in my head. I'm not alone!!! I need a support group.

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