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why can't i let go??? HELP
June 17, 2002
2:30 pm
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lyn
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September 30, 2010
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I guess i've decided to write because i'm in terrible pain (the emotional kind). I dated this guy for only about 7 mths, and he broke up with me. You see I was dating someone before him for about a yr. and a half who treated me like garbage..He used to call me names like chunky, he used yell all the time and push me around. But I dealt with it because it was better than being alone i thought. Anyway after the mean guy dumps me i met a wonderful guy but i treated him the way i was treated in my old relationship. I guess I wasn't ready for a relationship. This guy was wonderful beyond the word brought me a flower on each date, etc. and i was just mean.
I was mean because i wanted the other guy back and this guy i felt was a waste of my time. Then when i finally decided that the other was no good for me and we weren't getting back together i fell for the new guy. and it was a few weeks after that, that he decided he couldn't be with me anymore. It hurts so bad i think mainly because i have severe guilt for treating him soo terribly.. Needless to say i was calling him obsessively after we broke up and he was sick of it and me... it's been three months since we broke up and i still call him occasionally and we talk about nothing he's just annoyed but he's so nice he puts up with me... Well he has since stopped taking my calls and when i finally did get him he told me he went on a date saturday i am crushed...
I didn't even like this guy when I first started hanging out with him i thought he was too nice and I didn't understand how anyone that nice could like me...I just feel as though i had it all and i ruined it but how do i let go why can't i let go... i grew to love him and he made me happy... but it's over and it's so hard for me to get that through my thick head i just want another chance but i know it's not possible... perhaps if i give him space i think but i think he's truly done with me for good... why can't i let go...

June 17, 2002
5:53 pm
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Cici
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September 24, 2010
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you can't let go because you say "i can't let go." You CAN let go, you just won't right now. In your mind, you equate the word "can't" with impossibility. You CAN. you will!

I mean, think about it - there are over 6 billion people in this world. 6,000,000,000. Minus you, that jerk-face and nice-guy, that's still 5,999,999,997!

Time, time, time. Just write in a journal and watch "Sabrina" and feel good about YOU first.

June 20, 2002
7:46 pm
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fuctmind
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I know what u goin through lyn, Ive had exactly the same experience. My old boyfriend treated me like shit also, insulted me, made me feel real down, split up with me on several occasions because I "obviously didnt love him enough" even though I practicly worshipped him, etc. So with my next boyfriend I wouldnt let myself fall for him, Id be real sarcastic with him, hardly touched him and eventually finished with him and now I really regret it coz I know he genuinly cared for me. But for some reason I wont let people get close to me and I wont let myself fall in love again, probably coz Im scared I'll go through the same pain as in "love is a sin" Im afraid of relationships so now I just get around, I have casual relationships: one night stands! Atleast then I know that its not serious and I wont be crying myself to sleep at night and blaming myself for every stupid little argument we had. Really, this guy was a shit, he cheated on me a numerous amount of times and when he denied it I would just believe him, not because I trusted him but because I wanted to believe him, I loved him so much and he threw it back in my face. The price you pay for loving someone! But you shouldnt look at it in that light, if someone cares about you and doesnt fuck you around, hang on to him, did you tell him what you went through b4 with your exboyfriend? Surely if he's as nice as he sounds he'd understand. Ive told the guy I'm seeing at the moment about my ex so he kinds of understands why I get distant, but he doent understand why I think he might treat me the same, why cant men understand the pain we go through 4 them?!?!

June 20, 2002
9:33 pm
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maui
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The pain is on both sides of that fence little lady.

June 20, 2002
11:33 pm
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irishlass
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The grass may look greener on the other side, but you still have to cut it. I like that one. kind of like realtionships. I dogged a guy once for a few months. Could not, would not accept the fact that he just up and left me when I told him I didn't want to live with him. Not because I didn't love him. Just the opposite. What bothered me about the whole thing was I never knew for sure if that was what it was...the unknowing was killing me...I just wanted to know why and he wouldn't even speak to me. Took me a while, that one..still think about it sometimes as to why...never dogged another man again. Realized it just wasn't worth my while if he didn't love me...if he did I wouldn't have to call.

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