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Why cant I get over my jerk ex boyfriend?
October 25, 2001
1:37 am
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Shelly26
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September 30, 2010
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I am 29 years old. Me and my ex boyfriend (of almost 3 years) broke up 10 months ago. Mainly because i just wasn't 100% happy with him,and he was my first boyfriend and I just wanted to get some more dating experience in while i was still young. I didn't want to lose him from my life though,i wasn't even sure i wanted to break up at all,i just wanted A BREAK to get perspective and sort out my feelings. I told him i might even want to get back together eventually. We lived together at the time and because of the lease and us staying friends,we didn't move apart until 6 months later. We also work together so we see each other every day. We also chat online and he calls me every few days just to leave a goofy message or chat for a minute or two. We have even hung out and tried dating again recently. Part of me was happy that he seemed to want me back,but since he wanted marriage and i've always been against marriage (my parents divorced),i freaked out. I still wanted to be with him though. But he changed his mind,more than once. He basically played mind games and kept saying,"i want to be engaged and buy a house with you next year" and 2 days later he'd say,"i dont know what i want anymore,i might not want marriage with you,i might not want anyone at all right now". Well,i know he just doesn't want me because I found out that he asked a friend if she knew any single girls to set him up with! Now,i cant figure out why i cant get over him and move on,because i know he is a jerk,but he was a completely different person when we were going out (he was nice,in the beginning). Now he wont even do simple favors for me like getting a box down from the shelf at work,or driving me to work since my truck needed to go into the shop. He has just been downright mean to me,but then again he can also be normal. He has so many faults though,i cant even explain them all here. To sum him up in one sentence,he is an immature irresponsible hypocritical liar. He is not liked by hardly anyone,i was just blinded by love because he was my first,and i fell for his charms (he even admitted one time that he was more nice back then in order to impress me). But yet even though i know what a jerk he is,i cant get myself to get over him.i dated another guy during the summer but that didn't work (maybe i was comparing him to my ex a little bit,but mostly we had distance/work schedule problems). I live alone now and it's just miserable. Every night i watch him leave work and we go our seperate ways,where before we would go home together. Now coming home alone to an empty apartment just kills me. I get so depressed that all i do is sit online hoping he'll come on,or leaving my cellphone on so he can call. I go out with friends on weekends but it still doesn't help me feel better. I have hobbies and interests but those only make me feel worse because i used to share them with him. I am almost 30,i should be able to get over this relationship especially since now i realize how big of a jerk he is. But yet i can do nothing but sit alone and remember the good times we had and wish i could go there again. But every time i'm around him,he does or says something that makes me realize what a jerk he is,but yet i still find myself miserable and thinking about him. What is wrong with me? and what do i do? Dating other guys is not a good choice because i would just wish they were him instead. But being alone is even worse because i'm reminded constantly that i dont have him anymore. Sorry this was so long,there is a lot more i wish i could add but i'll end this now.

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