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Why am I so stupid?
February 7, 2005
8:51 am
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gardengnome
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He was suppossed to be living in a motel for the past 2 weeks, to try to decide what he wanted to do with his life.

We could not live together anymore, my hurt over his seeing this other person was too much and it was destroying us.

Yesterday, I found out through him saying something that did not jive, that he's living with her. But he tells me he doesn't want to lose me, we made love all weekend, this was before i found out about this.
I feel like such a stupid ass for believing him. I told him that this puts me at a disadvantage, and that he was suppossed to stay neutral in order to be able to decide what he wants.
How can i ever believe what he says to me anymore. He tells me he's seeing a therapist tonight.??? who knows??He tells me its temporary till he finds a short term rent place? who knows. Right now i don't ever want to speak or see him again i'm so angry and hurt.

Here i am sleeping alone and thinking he's alone thinking about his family and what he's possibly going to lose, and no, he's sleeping with this @#$%%$$ ##$#%%&^!
Man, this feels like hell on earth, these last months.
Here i am in pain and all he can do is run away from it.
I am so stupid for staying here......
I feel like such a fool....

February 7, 2005
8:55 am
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CAMER
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how long have you both been dating?? and how long has he been staying at the motel with HER?? i know there is alot on your plate for a decision, just go with your gut instincts on this one & keep coming back and posting.

February 7, 2005
9:08 am
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gardengnome
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This is my husband of 23 years i was sspeaking of.
And he's been living with her at her apt for the past week or so.
I have no more faith in him, no more trust, he keeps lying to me and yet expects us to "build" on the good times we share together at the moment.
Has this man lost his mind or what?

February 7, 2005
10:25 am
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mamacinnamon
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Gardengnome,

They say that what you see is what you get. I do believe that for the most part. I do believe folks can change if they truly want to. Does it look like he truly wants to?

There is an old saing and I don't know that I will get it exactly right. This is the ONLY thing my dad would say to me when I was trying to decide on what to do about my ex. He said: "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." Take it for what you will. I'm not trying to sway you, just give you a tool to use in decision making as he gave to me.

I am sorry for your pain. Please keep posting and venting. It will help some.

February 7, 2005
11:33 am
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sdesigns
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Oh boy. So he's lied to you, used your mind and body for sex, and he's living with someone else? While he's supposedly thinking things out? With what organ? Above the belt or below? Ugh. I hope you stay away from him for awhile. Stand your ground for what you want, and if he doesn't like it, then you have to move on. He is treating you HORRIBLY.

February 7, 2005
11:51 am
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addicts wife
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I am feeling so violated for you... what a kick in the gut!!!! Grrrrrrrr.
I would NOT have any contct with him for a while. 23 years, and he has the nerve to lie, ad nbetray you still???

I know it may seem impossible NOT to beat yourself up about this today, But Please try and FOCUS on YOUR positive attributes. What he did is awful. And I dont think he deserves You or the ^(&*&*^%^%$$((*&) woaman he's also been lying to (apparently.
Like Mama C said "fool me one SHam on YOu, Fool me twice shame on me."
Try not to enable him to keep hurting you. This is unacceptable , and HE knows it. And therapy doesn ot work just by saying "Im in thereapy." YOU, He in this case have to put the work into yourself, HONESTLY and openly. and it doesnt appear that he is doing that IF he was able to be witrh you all weekeknd if his toothbrush is at anothers apartment.
STAY STRONG, keep venting, and stand your ground!!! YOUDESERVE IT... 🙂

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