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whos right and what do i do?
October 13, 2008
9:11 am
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lovesangels28
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September 27, 2010
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Hey maybe you could give me some advice- i want my boyfriend to lower his Mehadone dose- he's on 65 and the clinic wants to increase it he says he wants it to stay the same but for some reason i get the feeling that he will want to increase it to 70. I want him at 55 and going down from there. he says it is like medicine for his back and right now this is his only option and that i am trying to "rule over him"/ I do have controlling tendencies but most of all after growing up with violent alcoholics and datien addicts and alcoholics i just don't want to spend my life like that. I also feel that this clinic is just drug pushers with licenses- when he mentioned wanting to lower his dose they advised against it and asked if he was being pressured and his "counselor" never meets with him. He says he gets no high from it but he definatly acts different- he says i'm making him choose between me and medicine that stops his suffering- what do i do

October 13, 2008
10:44 am
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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there is nothing you can do, only he can decide what he wants....but you do have a choice, if you do not like what he is doing, then you don't have to stay with him.

Being codependent means yes, losing control, as he said "rule over him"....the more you try to control what you want for his outcome, the worse it will get.

October 13, 2008
12:19 pm
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chelonia mydas
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Lovesangels,

Have you read the book "Codependant No More" by Melodie Beattie?

I would recommend reading it during this time of your life.

I too was raised by addicts/alcoholics and have major issues when it comes to others using alcohol or any kind of medication, so I understand where you are coming from. I am learning that I can only control myself. I choose not to use and I choose not to be with others who use. That is where the extent of my control is. What they do with their life is their business, not mine.

Have you considered giving yourself some space from relationships with others? It was only when I was by myself that I was able to see how unhealthy my involvement in other people's lives is. Prior to having time alone, I was terribly offended if anyone didn't want to accept my help and advice.

I support your decision irregardless of what it might be because it is yours alone to make,
Chelonia

October 14, 2008
11:12 am
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soofoo
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Camer and Chelonia are right on.

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