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WHO'S ADVISE SHOULD I TAKE?
August 25, 2006
2:44 pm
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santino
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Ok, so I'm starting to see a little light at the end o the tunnel. It's been nearly a month and I know it's over. I don't expect her to call anymore, I don't ask her sister hows shes doing etc. I just finished my secound counceling session, and I'm loving it. Shes such a good listener and I feel at total ease talking to her. My friends and spiritual advises have all givin me advise on how to handle the situation. For the most part they have all said the same thing which is move on, remember the good times and move on. Ok, today after I spoke to my councelor she said I should forget the good times and focus on all the bad times. Hmm... for some reason that doesn't sound right to me. It seems if I do that It wil make me bitter, and I don't want to be bitter towards her. I just don't want nothing to do with her. So Im sitting here woundering what should I do. Think good thoughts? Or remember the bad thoughts?

August 25, 2006
2:56 pm
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For now i think you are suposed to think about the bad things, it is good to remember the good things so maybe write them all down in a book or something and in another book write the bad things, put the good book away for a while so you can concentrate on getting over her, in say... 3 months or so pull out the good book, if you have the desire to call her because you miss her put it away for another couple of months, if you dont and just think back with a smile in your heart then you know it is OK to remember the good times...
Just a thought.

August 25, 2006
2:59 pm
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santino
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thanks elle, always helpful, much appreciated.

August 25, 2006
3:00 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Santino:

I am one that says remember the bad over the good and take that bad and use it to heal. Use it to motivate yourself to move on and not look back. Use it to grow. By remembering the bad it can be an incentive for a person to want to move on, to want to do better, to focus on what not to accept in a person on down the road after you have healed. And most importantly, use the life you have led thus far to help others that have gone thru the same type situations you have. Give, or as they say... pay it forward.

Then after you have become stronger, healed, moved on... then you can look back and remember the good times also. I don't think your counselor means to never look at the good, I think she means for now you need to focus on what will motivate you to change and heal yourself. Also, if you are looking at the good you will not be fully focused on you and that too is of utmost importance for now.

Just my opinion. 🙂

August 25, 2006
3:06 pm
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santino
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Thanx mama, great advise

August 25, 2006
3:42 pm
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CAMER
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when you think of the bad stuff, it will prove to you why you both shouldn't be together, you don't have to feel bitter towards her thinking of the bad, cuz i am sure there were some good parts of the relationship.

I think, it just seems the more we think of the good parts, we tend to want to re connect with the person and think things will get better, but when I think of the bad, it makes me think more of the reason, why i deserve better and am not with the person.

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