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Who is codependent
May 4, 2007
7:08 pm
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Jumper
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September 30, 2010
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I have had a relationship with a lady for 2 1/2 years. we weere engaged for a short time and she gave back the ring because she said i wasn't serious about it. she was right. We seam to get into arguements steming from me not listening to her. she has had lots of trouble at work and with family and I try to listen but it gets to be the same thing over and over again. when we are in bed she will bring these things up and feels that i should listen (perhaps I should) but I have gotten to the point where I make no comment and just shut up because if i comment she will get extreamly upset. she also tends to ask the strangest questions or make statements that seem to be imprope; like in the middle of making love whe said 'you don't love me anymore do you' or we were lying in bed and she said "you will never love me as much your wrk or your life". I am very confused and am not sure if I am the one you is as she says "selfish with my emotions" or whether she is going through monopause (shich she is, or something. does anyone know how to handle this or should we just call it quits. It has gotten to the point where it is a toss up and I am just not happy any more. thank you.

May 4, 2007
7:17 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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September 27, 2010
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Doesn't sound to me like you are getting anything positive out of your relationship. You will never be able to change her behavior. Do you want to accept life with her as she is? It is no crime to leave someone you are not happy with. How do you feel when you think of living life without her?

May 4, 2007
7:48 pm
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Jumper
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Tiger, I feel very lonley and would like to live my life with her if she could get these little problems straightened out. I am not sure if it is her normal behavior of not but I think it is. and I am not sure I would be happy with it the way it is but with a very small change I could be happy with her. She is really a wonderful person in all other ways. she is kind caring, devoted, loving, thoughtful, but we don't seem to laugh that much together. I really hope things change but we are having a squabble now and it may be the last straw for her and I both. It is a real shame. i am 61 and she is 54. We do great together except for this argueing that she seems to thrive on. Is it really my fault for not listening?

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