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Who do men cheat?
November 5, 2006
11:13 pm
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Hi All,

I did something this week I am not proud of. I went to a training seminar and meet this guy who I instantly had chemistry with. The type you can feel right when you meet someone.

Well we hung out for a few days and the chemistry built and then I found out he had a girlfriend!! He never mentioned it but I found out thru the guy he was rooming with.

Anyway we ended up hooking up and now I feel bad about it. After we did it he told me not to text message him because his girlfriend checks his phone!! Then he called me today to ask if I had talked to his firlfriend because she broke up with him claiming she found out something that he did!!

Why do I do this things to myself!!!

November 6, 2006
6:45 am
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nvr2late
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[email protected] morning!
well, I must say unbelievable...I have been struggling with this same question with a friend of mine.
we are/were both in similar situations...both involved with guys at work that had g/f's and wonder why it is so easy for them to forget about them????

but try as I might, I cannot think like a guy in that situation.
we don't understand it, because we cannot live it.

but, I have come to the conclusion, that maybe they like having the best of both worlds.
they like the safety of a g/f and or wife and the thrill of someone new.

but I do know one thing, if they have a g/f or wife, they don't leave that too easily.
it can be a bad relationship, but they are not giving it up in the case that things don't work out with that other person.

The friend that is going through this is head over heels for this guy, I was talking to him the other day (he does not know that I know about them)...and asked him about his g/f, why they did not get married..etc..

he said that they WILL get married!
now, I don't understand this...
I know he has been with my friend not too long ago, but still talking about marriage??? YIKES!

well, my take on the whole thing...is if they are going to cheat and NOT be married, they are going to cheat and BE married.
and it is a sad situation for that g/f to be in, and for them.
if they cannot commit to a relationship, they are going to be in a bad way when they DO get married and wish they hadn't.

and I have been married, it takes a LOT of work!
so, all you can do is feel sorry for them and know that not too long down the road, they will be the ones working on some other woman saying..
'my wife just does not understand me like you do'!

and I am not saying ALL guys are like this..but I have seen my share of married ones that are willing to take that night of THRILL, and not think twice about it!

my advice, don't get involved..you will just get hurt!
and it is better to find out now, then later on when you are in a relationship with this scumbag!

AND, as WOMEN...we need to stick together and not be in competition!
we need to say NO...if an unavailable man comes looking for some sympathy!
and I am trying to get my friend to tell the g/f..I would want to know!
especially before they get married!!!

just my thoughts!
nvr

November 6, 2006
7:08 am
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Robert123
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1day, sorry about your confusion and pain. The up side could be that you have learned something more about yourself, and relationships, and can bring this with you into the next relationship. The chemistry gremlin struck again. I have gotten to a place where chemistry is not such a good indicator of future relational happiness. Yes it all seems right, feels right, but if it doesn't stand the test of time??... Having chemistry with a person is simply one facet of many that needs to be explored over a period of time.

November 6, 2006
7:29 am
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1lost1
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Men cheat because "THEY CAN!" Sorry sore subject for me.

November 6, 2006
11:37 am
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Thanks for all the great advice.

NVR-Yes I believe you are totally right. Men who cheat do want the beast of both worlds and are not willing to give up the security of a girlfriend even though they might not be happy. Im not fooling myself into thinking hes going to want to be with me. The situation does make me feel alittle bad becasue I went against my morals and gave in when I knew better!!

November 6, 2006
11:49 am
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taj64
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Hi. this is not your problem. It was up to him to be honest first and foremost, to you and to his girlfriend. He did neither. How would you go against your morals if you did not know he was committed to someone or with girlfriend. There is no ring on your finger so really you can see who you want. I would just chalk this up as not moving too fast for next time and also be sure he is available. Don't down yourself for something this guy is messing up all on his own. You will be fine as long as you don't get involved with him anymore. Chemistry though great in the beginning can be easily extinguished if you let go in the very beginning instead of allowing yourself any hope or more of what had already happened. Just let it go and you will feel better in a few days or weeks. You should not feel guilty for his lie. Let him be the one that assumes that role.

November 9, 2006
11:18 pm
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lalasgirl
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cheaters cheat. probably started long ago when he forgot to study for the test and smiled at the little red-head girl sitting next to him and she slyly moved her hand to uncover her answers.

it was easier. no committment to study the chapter. didn't have to retain important information, no stress to get a good grade, and yet got a "gold star" on his paper with little to no effort. cheapened the "a" you studied hard for.

the only subject he probably excelled in was music...sounds like he played you like a fine violin....just be aware that while you were making music, someones heart strings were breaking.

November 15, 2006
5:56 pm
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Robert123
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Men cheat for a variety of reasons, just like women. A man may cheat because a girl flirted and it massaged his sagging ego, or the grass just looked greener with a new person. I'm sure there are a multitude of reasons. I think women cheat because of a lack of emotional closeness in the marriage and men cheat more for physical reasons.

November 15, 2006
6:00 pm
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thedogsmom
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i agree with robert,

people not just men.. cheat for different reasons.. not necessarily because they are unhappy or missing something from thier lives.. sometimes just for the sheer fun of being with somebody new..and the sex..and ego building... sometimes..because they don't have their emotional or physical needs met at home..and it may be easier for them to cheat than to accept this and make the more difficult decision to leave their comfort zone and move forward..
TDM

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