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who am I?
April 4, 2000
5:36 am
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shazzy
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I do not know who the real me is. I am a chameleon-like person who acts according to the person I am with. If I have their approval I am happy so I fit my behaviour to what I think they will approve of. I wonder if a real me actually exists. I have spent all my life trying to be liked by everyone. The way I dress, my political beliefs, my taste in books and music... all of it is based on gaining approval. The thing is, I've finally recognised this behaviour. How do I now discover myself for the first time? How do I find out who I am?

April 4, 2000
9:01 am
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hootie-hoo
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To ask yourself this question means that you know who you are. You are afraid to be yourself for fear that you will not be accepted by those you think more highly of over you. I was that way. I was forever being hurt, disappointed snd blue. I was always taking on the personality of the person I was dating or married to. Then I finally had an awful car accident that could have ended my life...I was on my way to buy a Christmas gift for a man whom I was was trying to plese! He could have cared less. That was my wake up call. I sought counseling. My counselor advised me to try liking who I was. I never thought that was possible since all of my life was trying to be someone else. She advised that I join a group called "CODA". It stands for Co-Dependents Anonymous. It worked. I was able to drop a lot of baggage that I was hauling around and didn't even know it. I always believed that I needed another person to make me happy. Not so. I am now single and happy to be me. I still struggle to find me, however it is so much nicer to be pleasing to me than trying to fit in!!!
Seek counseling thru "CODA" & also seek God. Without God in my life all the other things did would not have been possible.

April 4, 2000
4:54 pm
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KSUE
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I have often wondered who I am. Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Co-worker. I discovered I am all of these. Which means I am different to all these people, I know that probably isn't exactly how you meant it. But with all these people, I try and put there needs ahead of my own. I always have. And there are days when I am so exhasted that all I want is to stay in bed all day. I just can't please everyone, as hard as I try. Saying this, I know how silly it sounds. But in my heart I feel the need to make sure everyone is happy, then I feel like maybe I can be happy too.
KSUE

April 5, 2000
6:46 am
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janes
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Trying to please others is codependent behavior. Get Melodie Beattie's book "codependent mor More"

April 5, 2000
9:06 am
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hootie-hoo
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Janes, once again you are right on. I have shared all of Melodie Beattie's books with so many women. I call them good news books.

April 5, 2000
9:40 am
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Jasmine
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September 30, 2010
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who am I? good question. first step to walk away from co-dep. I think your true self does exist, or else, who ask this question?
read. you'll discover your question and then you'll slowly reveal yourself

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