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Who am I? Can my counselor help me?
November 29, 1999
5:26 pm
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RED
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September 24, 2010
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Hi!
This is my first time posting to this list. This last year has been filled with alot of sadness and feelings of hopelessness, depression and a sense that somehow my whole life has been a lie and deception about who I really am. I have been in counseling for about 2 1/5 years working with the same couselor and social worker. I am thirty nine. You see I was told I was born a girl with a birth defect of the sex organs. In the last year I wanted to know more about my condition and obtained my medical records and learned that I was born a boy and underdeveloped and my sex was reassigned at three days to girl and feminizing surgery was done at three months old to make me into a girl and the next eighteen years were spent at Johns Hopkins trying to convince me that I was a girl and what a girl should be doing. There was allot of other trauma that went on like photographing me nude/genitals at various ages charting my development. I feel very shattered and broken inside. Like I said I have been working with a therapist who is very compassionate and caring she has allot of experience with trauma but never any experience with this sort of issue or issues. I'm not sure she really knows how to help me and partly I feel like I'm having to educate her about things. Do you think I should find another therapist with more experience with this.

November 29, 1999
5:38 pm
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site coordinator
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Red,

It's a tough call.

If she has experience with trauma, she's likely a good fit for some of what you're dealing with. I believe that a good therapist doesn't necessarily have to have direct experience with every situation to be helpful.

However, if you feel unsuccessful with her after a period of time, it's important to TELL HER within a session about your difficulties/concerns in working with her. She may even feel the same, and have a referral for you.

Might another therapist be a better fit? Possibly, and you may find someone who has direct experience with people in similar situations as yourself...a support group sounds like an excellent choice if your therapist can locate one in your area. I recommend trying these two hotline numbers for group referrals just to find out your options:

Boys Town Hot Line: 800 448 3000 Provides
short term crisis intervention and counseling and referrals to local
community resources. Counsels on parent child conflicts, marital and
family issues, suicide, pregnancy, runaway youth, physical and sexual
abuse, and other issues. Operates 24 hours, seven days a week.

Covenant House Hotline: 800 999 9999 Crisis line for youth, teens, and
families. Gives callers locally based referrals throughout the United
States. Provides help for youth and parents regarding drugs, abuse,
homelessness, runaway children, and message relays. Operates 24 hours,
seven days a week.

Either way, if you do feel a difficulty with her, it's important to talk about it openly with her.

Keep us updated!

SC

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