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Whidbey: An interesting observation re "the jacket."
February 12, 2006
8:19 am
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garfield9547
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Sdesigns

you can see he was not in touch with the world around him.

Liamo

I think it took allot of gust to go to his wife. I also think it was a good thing. Look what happened. After you met her he did not like either of you.
This is just what they say in the thread I posted. This means after you met her he had to commit to either of you and they cannot commit in any relationship.

A week later I listened to voicemails and heard him telling his landlady he was madly in love with her and calling her "baby" and "gorgeous"

Liamo "A WEEK" Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can see how this guy just could not survive without his N supply.
Just shows they do not have any emotion. NOTHING.

I know in my heart that they will all see through him eventually and that gives me some peace.

His wife saw through him, you saw through him and now we are waiting for the landlady.

Yes this will happen. His enemies are growing

(((Garfield)))

February 12, 2006
7:04 pm
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Liamo
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Hi Garfield.

Your threads are giving me such peace. I find myself sleeping much better now.
Im getting a much clearer picture on his narcissism.
I had to find out what this WHACKO was all about and through this site and you I am now getting some ease.
For example: and you mentioned this in your last thread.
Whenever I started to get content with any situation we were in he always "moved the goalposts" to get me stirred up.
When I started to stay at the house with him first I would always whine about him having to leave me to go to work or do something with the kids. But them I stopped and had the attitude its ok I don't mind I can amuse myself go shopping or go for a walk. I realise now that that was bothering him that I wasn't begging him to stay.So he would do or say something to stir me up, at the time I could'nt get a handle on what he was doing, but now I know that I wasn't feeding him????
Jeez no wonder I was half mad. The scary thing is I thought there was something wrong with me!!! I couldn't please this looney.
Then when he ended up with the landlady I thought it must have been me, she doesn't see anything wrong with him. Of course my self esteem was in the toilet at that stage, but thanks to your help its slowly coming back.

Hugs to you
Liamo

February 13, 2006
7:30 am
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garfield9547
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Laimo

Knowledge is power. You have moved forward, can you see it?
Everytime you post you can see more clearer. This is just great. I will catch up later when I have more time.

"Finally, after 5 years of being played like a marionette, I wisely looked up and saw the strings. I began to study my puppet master and watch carefully-formulated patterns emerge to have me dance in a particular direction."
A Member's Quote

February 14, 2006
7:22 pm
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Liamo
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Hi Garfield

Yes, I think I have moved forward thanks to your help and insight into these creatures.

The most painful for me was when I realised he was with his landlady as I went straight into "it must have been me" She sees nothing wrong with him so I was the problem.
The pain of that is something I will probably never forget.
I was blaming myself but he told me it was all my fault, seeing his wife meant he could no longer trust me, and that I was putting too much pressure on him and being too demanding and looking for something he could not give me.
He wanted to be alone and did'nt want a realtionship with anyone, but he was able to have a relationship with her???? I was crushed at the time, but I know now what I was dealing with.
He had me dancing alright, into a looney bin.

Hugs to you

Liamo

February 16, 2006
1:22 pm
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garfield9547
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Liamo

The pain of that is something I will probably never forget

You felt terribly rejected. This is normal and shows you have emotions like a healthy person have.
If he had a grain of emotion in him he would have been able to commit in a relationship.
Moving between you and his ex is double n-dipping. He needed supply from both sides.

seeing his wife meant he could no longer trust me, and that I was putting too much pressure on him and being too demanding and looking for something he could not give me.

This is were he reveals himself.
Because you went to see his wife he could no longer trust himself. You exposed him and he felt the pressure. He put the pressure on himself with his behaviour.

He wanted to be alone and did'nt want a realtionship with anyone, but he was able to have a relationship with her????
Yes, Liamo I agree. He cannot go without his supply. This is all she is for him.

I have been sooo busy at work. Hope you get to see this

Hugs

Garfield

February 16, 2006
6:47 pm
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Liamo
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Hi Garfield.

Thanks for that, even though you are busy.
From my jounaling I now see that the landlady was "supplying" him before we split up.
Several times she defended him to me,and treated me like an idiot undermining my intelligence and treating him like a child.
On one particular occasion I was getting at him about parenting, as his conversations about his children were nothing short of nauseating,(he was not parenting at all and I knew this, as I had raised 4 kids myself who were much older than his) he got up from the table and ran over to his landlady who was standing at the sink at the time, and all I saw was a 3 year old child running behind his Mother's skirt. I could not believe my eyes that he had actually done that (this guy is 44 years old.) so what does that tell us both.??
They really are children in adults bodies. The thing that got me was, the whole country where I live was telling me I had a lucky escape and this woman was putting normality on this lunatic. It beggared belief!!!!! Talk about supply?? I can laugh now thanks to your help and guidance.

Talk soon
hugs
Liamo

February 17, 2006
1:48 pm
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garfield9547
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Liamo

Several times she defended him to me,and treated me like an idiot undermining my intelligence and treating him like a child.

You are sooo right about the landlady treating him like she is the mother and he is the child
SPOT ON

and all I saw was a 3 year old child running behind his Mother's skirt. I could not believe my eyes that he had actually done that (this guy is 44 years old.)

Emotionally he is a 3 year old and its good that you can see this. This would help you heal.

Liamo this is so true

so what does that tell us both.?? They really are children in adults bodies
They REALLY are children emotionally in adult bodies.

Since they do not process their own emotions, they don't have a clue when it come to understanding emotions in others. They do the worst with partners who are highly emotional and insist on sharing feelings and who try to make the Repressor responsible for their anxiety that remains when there is no clear cut solution to the problem. They do best in relationships with a partner who leaves them alone and who does not insist on their engaging in continual emotional discussion. They do best of all with a partner who does not need closure on problems and has the ability to sweep conflict under the rug, however that rarely happens as they more likely to choose partners who are in touch with their feelings.
Defence Mechanisms that Affect Relationships by Lynne Namka, D. Ed.
http://www.byregion.net/articl.....nisms.html

Garfield

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