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where the old crew?
March 8, 2001
12:36 am
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Brenda
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hazza, cici, everyone...where are you guys?How are you all????????? love to chat

March 8, 2001
2:27 pm
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Cici
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I'm good, very very busy. I've got classes, my internship at the forensic mental hospital (fun fodder for conversation, let me tell you), I'm planning my wedding for June 8 and I have new news!

I got invited to do two different research projects under two professors. One is on the concept of social justice (our system of punishment doesn't work to curb undesireable behavior), the other is on multi-cultural peak-experience perception (Maslow, my favorite humanist!). So I'm very excited. I get to do the actual data-gathering with qualitative interview data.

Hopefully this will help with grad school applications, but sice my internship I've been thinking about moving into rehabilitation counseling so I can work with the real crazies who can't function by themselves. I already had a job offer form my internship, but I think I can do better than $20,000. ha ha maybe not in social work!

What's up with you guys?

March 8, 2001
10:21 pm
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Molly
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Wow Cici, that sounds great. I am so sure you have already great stories, and 20K, hehehe.
I am going crazy trying to figure out electrical devices, and reaquainting my self with the local market. I already miss the counseling, but... time later, its only the interaction with the clients that I miss. Just remember when the interest rate goes down the price goes up.

March 11, 2001
4:51 pm
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Still around... reading but not writing. 🙂

March 13, 2001
6:21 am
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janes
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Same here...I am writing some...but busy with teaching and teenagers.

Husband has 6 classes left til he has his teaching degree too then maybe I will only have one job and can go back to college.

March 16, 2001
7:48 am
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janes
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Hey old crew....I'm not leaving but after being called a cow and then someone else saying "your'e everywhere...maybe I'll just read and not post.

If I'm not helpful or h=say to much I certainly don't want to be "in the way"

March 16, 2001
9:40 am
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eve
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come on janes, dont take this dreadful thread that now seems to have disappeared (good riddance) seriously. I usually like this site. And the more people are posting the more answers somebody is likely to get. And some of the answers will help. So: please stay!

By the way (is one year long enough to be a regular?) here comes my update. I'm busy at the moment, because I just bought a flat. Have to do lots of things before I can move. But I'm looking forward to the move. The view from my present flat is: walls, walls, street, shop, and if you step very close to the window and peer up a little bit of sky. This is going to change. Maybe I'll open up, too, when I'm no longer encased by my surroundings :-))

Tez, how is your math course going?

March 16, 2001
11:40 am
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Cici
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You guys, I reported that woman to the site coordinator and I think the site coordinator, in agreement with the fact that she was violating all the guidelines, took it off and barred her form entering the site.

Call me a tattle! 🙂

Janes, don't let that id-voice affect you. I mean, in a way she was the manifestation of all our insecurities. She seemd to pick up on what we were sensitive to and took advantage of that. I have always hated that self-depricating voice inside me, but it seems like at the same time I nurture it.

But at the same time, where is the positive voice? It's SO hard to hear her. We tend to be able to shut her out so much more effectively for some reason.

March 16, 2001
5:43 pm
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Eve.

I finished teaching that course. I had about two thirds of the class pass.

At the moment, I'm into Chinese Zen. I'm attending the Chinese Buddhist temple in our area twice a week. It's difficult as none of the monks or nuns speak very good English.

However, I find that the Five Precepts are really lovely rules by which to live. I especially like the Fourth Precept as interpreted by Thich Nhat Hanh.

The Fourth Precept says:

"Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I vow to cultivate loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I vow to learn to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy, and hope. I am determined not to spread news that I no not know to be certain and not to criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break. I will make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small."

Wouldn't be wonderful if I could commit myself to live up to that precept alone, if no other.

March 16, 2001
5:58 pm
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Molly
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Not just you, but all of us, which is I do believe the intent of the religion.
Boy, what the heck did I miss, Janes, please don't stop posting your words are sincere, and ring true, now I must search the conflict out.Nosy huh. I don't have much time to spend here like before, feel like I need to work 24/7 for some reason, a cow, hmmmmmmmmmm. Did you respond all us cows do our best. Obviously she lacks the insanity necessary to belong to our group. Laugh at her lack of insight. cucucu

March 16, 2001
10:14 pm
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janes
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It weas a little insane....but the kind words folks sent her didn't seem to have the effect it usually does.

I have been impressed with the way 99.9 percent of those posting questions or replies really seem to take into account the feelings of others. good job all.

Just had a great dinner with a few female friends...got my way to expensive shoes out of layaway (present to myself) and laughed laughed laughed

Have a new principal at school is either not quite smart or very politically motivated....she never speaks to me (much) but tends to pick on those much younger who may be somewhat insecure etc. . Our school has had a bunch of great years with good leadership so the peolns/peasants (teachers were working as a fairly good - great team. Now the leadership seems to be on a divide and couquer bent.... who loses...kids

enough of my whing.

thankyou for your kind words.

I think you missed the fireworks Molly...it was quite amazing and as mean as she was I felt so sorry she was in such obvious distress.

Ah well....we do what we can and it just must be enough.

love to all.

March 16, 2001
10:14 pm
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janes
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It weas a little insane....but the kind words folks sent her didn't seem to have the effect it usually does.

I have been impressed with the way 99.9 percent of those posting questions or replies really seem to take into account the feelings of others. good job all.

Just had a great dinner with a few female friends...got my way to expensive shoes out of layaway (present to myself) and laughed laughed laughed

Have a new principal at school is either not quite smart or very politically motivated....she never speaks to me (much) but tends to pick on those much younger who may be somewhat insecure etc. . Our school has had a bunch of great years with good leadership so the peolns/peasants (teachers were working as a fairly good - great team. Now the leadership seems to be on a divide and couquer bent.... who loses...kids

enough of my whing.

thankyou for your kind words.

I think you missed the fireworks Molly...it was quite amazing and as mean as she was I felt so sorry she was in such obvious distress.

Ah well....we do what we can and it just must be enough.

love to all.

March 17, 2001
8:22 am
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Alena
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I'm not one of the old timers, but I wanted to add that I just felt she wasn't real. That nastiness was so hateful and came from out of nowhere, I just didn't think she sounded legit. So, I really didn't feel sorry for her. I mean, her first post sounded okay, like maybe she was rational, but then, whew, she took off in a totally bizarre direction and tyrade, seemed like a fake to me. Hope she was....hope there really wasn't a person out there with such raging anger and meanness. Molly, be glad you missed her. She wouldn't be calmed by anything anyone said.

March 17, 2001
10:00 am
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janes
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Happy St. Paddy's Day everyone!!!!

March 17, 2001
11:44 am
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Molly
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May the luck of the Irish be with us all, by the way are they really lucky? Its my oldests birthday, and don't know what type of alternative healer she went to night before last. But she called me last night and went on and on for over an hour about this and that, including the gift of a treatment that she received the night before. The woman was a massage therapist, and healer. Did several sage like things, and talked to her. Don't know what sort of magic, or miracle, but it is the first time in 2 years I felt like I was talking to my daughter. What a gift. Hope the effect lasts, she was adament regarding our getting together, this week, where as before we could maybe hook up one of these days. So needless to say, I am happy.
Good job on the shoes Jane, good therapy.

March 17, 2001
5:10 pm
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All.

It seems to me that there are some people, who are so damaged, that they delight in setting a 'bait'.

The 'bait' is a 'humbly' written posting asking for help from well meaning caregivers.

These less than well people then take great delight in inflicting a double whammy of pain on the helper.

The first shafting is the pain triggered in the caregiver by abuse itself.

The second shafting comes with the realisation by the caregiver of having been made the purposeful victim of this sadistic game. It's game playing at its worst.

Sadism is the result of much real and/or imagined maltreatment of these sick people by their mothers and fathers etc. Military institutions call sadistic games 'bastardization'. Older cadets inflict pain on young cadets. The cycle repeats throughout the generations of cadets ad infinitum unless someone breaks the cycle by responding with love and not becoming a perpetrator.

I am not loving enough unfortunately to respond at all to many of the postings that have the stench of this ego game coming from between the lines. I wish that I was.

The sad thing is that these sick people really don't know that they are after revenge by trying to shaft substitute carers in place of mom and/or dad, or the 'uncle'/'aunt' or other 'old' hurtful caregivers who perpetrated real or imagined abuse on them in the past. The pain avoiding unconscious thought processes make sure of this perpetuated ignorance.

It's a sad Shakespearian truth that the "bad men do lives after them, but the good is oft interred with their bones".

Lots of love to all.

March 17, 2001
5:23 pm
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Molly.

I'm mighty curious about your daughter's excellent response to her therapy.

For some time I've believed that we in the west have generally suffered from 'touch deprivation'. I think that I understand the reasons why our sexually preoccupied society has developed this condition.

Is it possible, do you think, that this massage therapist was a symbolic representation of society for your daughter? Did the 'touching' from 'society's representative' emotionally confirm and validate your daughter in a deep and profound emotional/spiritual way??

This is conjecture on my part and is most probably right 'off the track'. What do you think?

March 18, 2001
12:07 am
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kitten
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Happy St Pat's to all...did my celebrating on the 16th...not enough strength left in me for the 17th, too. Don't think I'll be drinkin' the green beer for awhile. Ah, me head is a spinnin.

March 18, 2001
5:56 am
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lewis
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hi!
i'm not that old! been visiting since nov !
just made a pop in and everythings changed! I never got a chance to see the endings!

At the mo i'm trying to move out again, but it's taking too long, feeling trapped and my patience is getting tired.

take 2 all
lv lew

March 18, 2001
7:26 pm
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Molly
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Tez
not sure, with out more details. I think from what she did share, was perhaps the mind accepting the fact that there was healing in the process. The body, mind connection, the comfort of the thought process, the smells, the touch, the possibility of magic, who knows at this point if the woman is a healer, or if the mind beleives that she has the power to heal?
I don't know how she could represent society, as the healer, sounded to be of "new age counter culture" it was in a shack of a home over looking the ocean, she apparently utilized many different cultural approaches utilized in ancient healing rites, from the ringing of the bells, to incense, to the native American healing with sage. The woman appeared to have identified blocked chi, as well as spirit guides? Ah, the magic of medicine?
I may not have clearly understood your question presented. My daughter definately has shut down and shut out, and do not believe that she has been touched in a loving way for along while, or been able to allow it for some reason. Many defensive walls up. Time will tell, we are supposed to meet this Wednesday, definately will get more insight, when I can see her.

March 19, 2001
9:39 am
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Dilly
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Hi Moll, Glad to hear about your daughter. As you know I am well "into" complimentary therapies, and, I have to say, that over the years I have been a therapist, (13) I have witnessed some remarkably good transformation in the character and attitude of patients. I think it is just that they were "ready" to progress, and whatever therapy they were having at the time, triggered it off. You know the problems I have had with my eldest son? well, he came over last Friday and asked if he could leave the 3 girls with me for the week-end! Talk about turn-around!, The only thing I put the change down to was that he had been to a "real" funeral that day (hole in the ground type) and because he wasn't closely connected with the departed, for the first time he listened to the preacher who apparently, started off by saying "we came into this world with nothing, and we will leave it the same way!" This affected him in some strange way (this is the mega bucks earner) and he came over to me with the 3 little girls, and a crate of wine! Ah well, "theirs not to reason why". The girls and I had a lovely week-end, so I'm just thankful for small mercies and, putting the smile back in place, I will just carry on! Good-luck on Wednesday, I will be thinking of you. Love to all you "posters"

March 19, 2001
11:29 am
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Molly
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ahhh, I guess in both cases, when the student is ready the teacher will appear???? None the less a good out come for us both. I have sworn by mother deafness, and I guess again in both instances, they could hear from some one else. Guess we both had to be quiet so they could hear, who knows. Beautiful day here going to be hot. Got to get on with the day.

March 19, 2001
9:10 pm
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molly,
Ah, I am praying for you. The best!

March 20, 2001
4:59 pm
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Molly.
Thanks for your response. I think that you provided me with the info that I sought.

It seems to me that part of the 'human condition' in modern western society is a profound disconnectedness from society, nature and one's own inner self. This emotional 'disowning' of this emotional core within the psyche by some people, can lead to much alienation and pain.

Perhaps the 'magic, of which you speak, was the proximity to nature and 'connectedness' provided by this therapist. Maybe the ocean, the symbolism, that she employed, communicated directly with the inner yearnings of your daughter to be at one with the universe.

Touch is but a small part of this connectedness. Since it seems that often times the only touching that we do has sexual intent, perhaps this accounts for our preoccupation with sex. Perhaps the real need is not sexual at all but is the need for feeling spiritually connected to others.

We often tend to forget that we are still primates that haven't long been separated from our other primate cousins. Perhaps this ignorance accounts for our blatant disregard for the other species of life on this planet and our lemming like course of self destruction.

March 21, 2001
10:35 am
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Cici
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Today in my Humanistic Psychology class we had to do two meditative exercises and then write reflections. I had two sentences:

Let it be.

This, too, shall pass.

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