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Where the afghan is needed......
October 26, 2006
10:14 pm
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ggfred4
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gosh, that is just making it come out more...what are these wet,salty things? oh gosh mich, what is the matter with me?

October 26, 2006
10:17 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Your finally comfortable enough to do so. Keep going until you don't want to, or you can't. You are a good soul honey...Let it go. It is time...I will just hold you and let you cry,

October 26, 2006
10:19 pm
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ggfred4
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Why are the best people in my life on the internet? I don't want to keep you from your family, mich...gosh, I feel so safe now...

October 26, 2006
10:21 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Talk all you want honey...I am right here..I am sorry that this is where you met me, but now you have me....I am not going anywhere..

October 26, 2006
10:22 pm
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ggfred4
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gosh, why am i crying, what is the matter

October 26, 2006
10:23 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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It is all coming out GG. It is ok, your comfortable enough to cry now..it is ok. It doesn't make you weak,,,

October 26, 2006
10:25 pm
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ggfred4
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you are right, i actually feel at ease with someone who will accept me...but i don't know why i am crying...i never cry

October 26, 2006
10:26 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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It's ok to cry, GG.

October 26, 2006
10:26 pm
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ggfred4
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okay

October 26, 2006
10:28 pm
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ggfred4
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my dad always said, "This is going to hurt,but don't you cry." My husband says he hates when I cry and that I look ugly when I do...

October 26, 2006
10:29 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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GG, my baby needs me but I will do everything within my powere to be right bakc, ok...

October 26, 2006
10:29 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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You are always beautiful to me.

October 26, 2006
10:31 pm
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ggfred4
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thanks, mich, take care of your baby...I need to go lay down...love you,,,gosh, i can't stop...i am so sad

October 26, 2006
10:31 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Love you, be back ina abit..

October 26, 2006
10:45 pm
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ggfred4
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LL, I know you are not around but wanted to let you know that I miss you and that I read everything you wrote me three times today...I am sorry for any problems...I don't feel like talking about it and hope that is okay too...I am not really sure what is going on...just really sad

October 26, 2006
10:47 pm
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ggfred4
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mich, THANKS, need to lay down and maybe i will fall asleep...if not,will check back...love ya, GG
(I am going to pretend that you are holding me with the afghan, so I can calm down; already have a bit thanks to YOU!)

October 27, 2006
1:35 am
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smarterone
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I just have to tell all of you that the love and compassion you are giving to all that need it is beyond words. Love to all of you.

October 27, 2006
2:56 am
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lovinglife
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Love the thread title Mich - perfect as is really fits... : )

I'm glad GG came back from pass - I was so worried though-out the day that I didn't put a return time down,and just left it open. But apparently I did - whew!

As always I have lots to say, but so tired right now...I've read over both threads and will post more tomorrow....Two things to share before I head to bed...

1. I had such a wonderful peaceful hopeful day today... just so refreshing to know that I would be coming home tonight to MY house with just my sons- no exH. However in the back of my mind I thought for some reason he'd be here - and Yep he got out and he's here. Just want to say I am totally fine. Really.

2. Ok, been thinking about stories...because of the line of work I've been in for years- human services - I've heard/see alot of heartbreaking stories. I always thought that my pain couldn’t/didn't match some of those I've worked with. Whenever I would start feeling bad about my life, I would think about those I knew who had it so much worse...and then tell myself to just suck it up that my life really wasn’t so bad. Also need to say that just when I think that I’ve heard it all- another heartbreaking story tops it.

Anyhow until this year, my pain, my story didn’t matter to me so much-however there has been more then a few times in the past 6 months or so at work that it seemed like my higher power was speaking to me to let me know- that “Yes, your pain matters just the same…you need to heal too…” And with that, I'm too tired to finish but will pick up where I left off tommorrow... : )

I am so thankful for all of you.

October 27, 2006
7:38 am
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cyndra820
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Good Morning,

I am sorry I wasn't around much last night. After dealing with mom, her surgery and just feeling emotional I was too tired to stay and give GG the support she needed.

GG, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I am so glad Mich was. I told you she loves you and would be there when you needed her. See, she was. I'm glad she held you with the afghan and it helped you feel safe and calm. I hope you got some good sleep.

Mich, you are so giving. I love you!! How's the baby? How's he feeling? In fact, how are all your kids? How are you? Did you get some rest?

LL, I'm glad your fine. I'm glad you had a peaceful day yesterday. I hope that peace continues today.

Love to you all. I'll check back in a bit.

Love,
Cyndra

October 27, 2006
8:22 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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LL, glad you found us...I figured the thread title would give it away...I am glad that you had a fairly peaceful day yesterday. Mine wasn't quite that peaceful, but it ended peaceful. GG had returned. I am just glad for that.

GG, do hope that things are ok with you today....please let me know how you are.

Cyndra, Thanks over and over for the afghan. My 3 month old is doing well, he is SO cute. He is also a VERY good natured baby. He has been sleeping completely through the night for about 4-5 weeks. I love it. No health issues for him either. The 3 year old, aside from being snotty all the time (attitude) she is doing good. Ad the other two are ok. I went off on their doctor last night telling him that I think that we have been slighted on our two oldest kids, and that he really isn't listening to a word I say. It just breaks my heart when my oldest looks at me with that face and asks for a tylenol as you can see that her head is killing her. It makes me so sad. She has already been through so much.

I did get some sleep, and wasn't sure I was going to be able to until GG returned. I am so glad for that. Other than that, I am OK. That is all I can say for now. Not horrible and not wonderful. BUT, I am still breathing...

Thanks for being my friend.

Mich

October 27, 2006
9:01 am
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ggfred4
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mich, first, I have to say, I am sorry about everything I may have put you through; feel awful and VERY embarrassed this a.m....that crying scene kind of scared me to lose control like that...I still don't know what is wrong...feel so sad, without direction, right now...but, I know it will pass...I just don't want to hurt you, LL, cyndra, or anyone else by my actions...You are my lifeline...crap, eyes tearing up...gotta go...love you so much!!!

October 27, 2006
9:11 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Love you too honey. You re not hurting me, I want to be here for you in any way that I can. I care so much about you. NEVER forget that.

October 27, 2006
9:15 am
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cyndra820
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Good Morning GG,

How are you? Stop apologizing, please. You've done nothing wrong.

Repeat after me: LL, Mich, Army Angel, and Cyndra all love me. I did nothing wrong. They are all here to support and encourage me on my journey just as I do them. They are my friends.

Now, if you are sad, be sad. We don't mind. Hell, I'm sad right now, but it's okay. You're right, this will pass. That's exactly what I said to myself this morning when I was waiting for the bus to come to work.

GG, you are a wonderful woman. You didn't do anything to anyone. You were a wonderful giving supporting friend when Mich needed it. She held you while you cried last night when you needed it. That's what friends do.

Love you!!!

Cyndra

October 27, 2006
9:25 am
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cyndra820
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Okay, I keep saying I feel sad, but haven't said why.

Yesterday while waiting for my mother to awaken from her surgery I sat down and made a list of all the things I left at my xso's house in Florida. I decided I only wanted the three DVDs I had left there from my last trip in July.

I sent him a text message telling him I was sending the FedEx slip for him to send my things back. That's it, nothing else. He replied Thanks.

I am sad because this is the end of the road with him, forever. I say forever because I do realize he isn't capable of being the partner I want to have. I'm sad because I thought he was the one I would grow old with.

He isn't an awful person, he just isn't the person for me. Sometimes I get angry but I'm usually angry with myself for not standing up for what I want and deserve from a partner. That comes and goes.

So, I'm sad but okay. A little misty occasionally, but not crying all over the keyboard. Goodness, wouldn't that scare the Dickens out of my co-workers? LOL

Be good to yourselves today. Do one nice thing for yourself.

Love,
Cyndra

October 27, 2006
9:25 am
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needtoheal
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Good morning, ladies...

I don't mean to but in.. I just want everyone to know that I am thinking of each of you...

and that I do appreciate having you here ...

We are all going through some difficult times right now... but we all have each other to support!

I am thinking of you all today..

And if there is some room for the afghan, may I please wrap myself in it for a moment....

thanks for listening

with love, friendship & respect

NEED

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