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Where does it end?
August 9, 2000
1:24 pm
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sickntired
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I am a strong, self-sufficient, outspoken and confident individual with one character flaw that could very well be the death of me. I am and have always been the "dumping ground" for other people's frustrations, problems and fears. Most times the situations revolve around people and places I don't know or haven't seen. You see, I have always been a leader in respect to friends and family. Lately I have been feeling lost and lonely because no one seems to think that I need people to "talk to" or just "lean on". A family member with whom I have a very close relationship with has my finances in a tizzy and I am now overwhelmed with the desire to just "escape" my world. I hate the reputation that I've acquired with my peers and family and I wish that just one of the people I love would look into my eyes and see that I need help. Oh sure, counseling would indeed put me in touch with my displaced feelings, but it is of the utmost importance to have a person who is 'real' in my life know and understand my pain..... Where does it end?

August 9, 2000
5:19 pm
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Lostsoul
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What is it that you need to talk about..Is it how to stop being that dumping ground?, or something else.
I've been in your same situation of being a "dumping ground"or "have all the answers" all my life.I just stopped helping those who didnt help in return.You find out quick who uses and who's a friend.Hated to do it, but i had to because it was ruling my life.

August 9, 2000
5:38 pm
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Molly
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I am so very sorry, and had to laugh. When I seperated from my husband and at that time divorce was the only option,sold my home to prevent foreclosure, left my job, just lost my mother, forced into bankruptsy, and my youngest had just left for college, moved to a new town 400 miles away, and started a new line of work, I had hoped that at least one of my daughters could have understood that I was going through some rough times, that they could hear it in my voice or see it through my eyes. HAH This is where I found my support, sad but true, these strangers had more compassion, more support, more feeling than any of my friends or family. It was some where I could go, when I wanted to escape. But when we strong ones are wounded, the wounds are deep, we find our way, and continue on. I personally wanted to find any womb to crawl into the fetal position, and stay. It is now 2 years later, my daughter came to visit me for the first time in 1 year to discuss my attitude, that they say grew worse by the minuet after my move, and I am sure it did, they only knew me as the strong one , the one who didn't have time to get sick, or feel sorry for them selves, me in pain, did not compute, me needing help vs, being the support system, was not a possibility. I sat autistic for 6 months, watching tv, getting support on line, and figured out that if I don't kick my self in the butt, and get a move on, no one else would and no one really cared. I did not resort to pharmacuticles, and the chardonney just gave me a hang over, so being the spiritual person that I have always been, fineally turned it over to God, and with the help of my dog, which is God spelled backwards, we basked in the unconditional love. We truly are alone in this world,and perhaps that is not a coincidence. We have the choice to think with a loving heart or not. True, I went through some ca ca, but I came through it a better person, still human, and so are my friends and family. good luck to you, and put your stuff here, these folk have many many good ideas, and you might be able to help your self, by helping others here too.

August 17, 2000
12:28 pm
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sickntired
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Thanks Molly and Lost Soul--your comments are good ones, I appreciate the insight.

August 30, 2000
7:43 pm
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Shin
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September 24, 2010
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I know the feeling compoleatly. I am considered the 'crutch' around my firends and they often think I am mor elike a rock, unable to be moved by pain and stress. Well even the strongers boulder and the olders rock will crumble with time. You really need to let then know how you feel. I meen seriously sit down and talk to them about what is going on. If they cant or wont take the inatitive then you need to. Let them know. Otherwise things may not get better. But they will.
"it cant rain all th time"

Keep hoping and talkign to people, frinds, family, heck even your pet.. ust let them know you arn't as strong as they think you are.
-Shin

August 30, 2000
10:28 pm
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Jaskid
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sickntired,

It ends when say it ends! You have a choice,you start being honest with yourself, but especially with your family and friends, or continue to be this strong, fearless person on the outside, all the while losing your spirit on the inside. When they start seeing this other side of you, they might be a little shocked at first, but I am sure most of your family and friends have a heart, unless they are too selfish to even want to hear your pain. Take off the mask, let your hair down, and just be you, the real you who hurts just like anyone else, and who needs a hug once in a while and encouragement like we all do. Only you can change this "dumping ground" category that you have fallen into. Change means letting go. Change means giving up something. Change means making the space for something new to come into our lives. Change means taking action.
First look deep inside and discover what needs to be changed in your life. You can slowly begin (not all at once) to take the necessary steps you need to grow. You don't have to change your entire life, just make one change at a time. Each small change will give you confidence to make another one. Each one will give you the strength you need to move forward and start sharing the way you really feel with others. Lean on God, who will hug you with His Everlasting Arms.

"A clear light seems to fall upon us all ~ when we open our eyes. Since our blindness is caused by our own defects, we must first deeply realize what they are. Constructive meditation is the first requirement for each new step in our spiritual growth."
.....Bill Wilson("As Bill Sees it)
.....A Letter, 1946

Take Care,
🙂 Jaskid

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