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?where do you start?
September 24, 2009
11:09 am
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learning2luvme
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Just found out I'm codependent and now im more lost than ever cause I dont know where to start fixing things!

September 24, 2009
11:15 am
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StronginHim77
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How did you find out thst you are codependent? Welcome to the threads. Many of us here are in varying stages of recovery from codependency and will be able to support you in your quest for peace, healthier relationships and emotional wholeness.

You might also get a copy of Melody Beattie's book, CODEPENDENT NO MORE. It is a great place to begin your quest for healing. Also, check online and locate the CODA meeting nearest you. CODA is free and provides support for recovering codependents.

Again, welcome and feel free to share as much of your story as you feel comfortable.

- Ma Strong

September 24, 2009
11:18 am
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learning2luvme
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I go to counseling and I only have 2 sessions left and my counlor ask me to take this test and majority of the answers were true and have been true for a long time

September 24, 2009
11:38 am
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atalose
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Welcome learning2luvme!!!!!

I believe the best place to start is in understanding and accepting that the only THING you can fix if YOU………

Now repeat after me………………

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know it’s ME.

Hope you stick around………….

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

September 24, 2009
12:09 pm
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learning2luvme
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Thats the goal to FIX ME. Thanks for the welcome I plan on sticking around!

September 24, 2009
3:06 pm
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bblue
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Its been just over a year for me - and not any easy one - its really easy to slip into the old habits...
Stay strong and welcome

BBlue

September 24, 2009
3:10 pm
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Terriberry
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Your on the right track ! Welcome !

September 24, 2009
3:20 pm
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Terriberry
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Your on the right track ! Welcome !

September 24, 2009
4:55 pm
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ShortCake
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learning2luvme - welcome to the threads. I have been here a few years and things are going great in my life. However, it was a tough road but the support and advice I got from these threads has changed my life so much.

Check out that book Ma Strong posted CODEPENDENT NO MORE, it by a author named Melodie Beetie (sp?). Its truly an amazing book. I read it at the beginning of my journey. Its a great start and really opens your eyes to habits and actions. One thing I always tell people who read coda books... remember, not every part of the book will apply to you. Just take what fits you and leave the rest. I have read some amazing books that have changed my life and opened my eyes to other forms of coda. Good luck with your journey.

Keep posting!
Shortcake.

September 24, 2009
5:09 pm
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assertive
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I didn't know I was codependent, until I read a book same title, now I know , how I can help myself? do you know?

September 25, 2009
2:00 am
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onlyboringontheoutside
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One thought that helped me a lot (and still does) is remembering that I am exactly where I need to be right now, perfect in my imperfection, and that the place I am in is teaching me lessons that I will need later on.

Oh yeah, and "this too shall pass" is another great one!

September 25, 2009
7:47 am
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learning2luvme
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Thank you to all!
I will look for that book this weekend. I have been surfing the NET and I am so shocked how much this is really me!!! I am so ready to get well and help myself. I am scared because apparently I have been this way for 15+ years. I am hoping it dosent take as long to change.I basically dont know how to live any other way.I have been this way through all my relationships from my mother to my current(2nd) husband, that I hope I still have after this major change. I am a fighter and I am so ready to battle this!!I know its going to be hard work but I have to! I do not want to teach my children this behavoir and I hope I havent damaged them already!

September 26, 2009
1:41 am
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bblue
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start today - the past is the past - leave it there - you can't change it - you can only improve the future.

BBlue

September 26, 2009
3:51 pm
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bonni
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September 26, 2009
4:22 pm
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Chrome
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Wow. Its so nice to hear that others are going through this.

September 26, 2009
4:24 pm
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Chrome
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my story is under Lost and alone. After we accept this about ourselves, how do we help others to understand us?

September 26, 2009
7:17 pm
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bonni
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((Chrome))
you've only read the Forward of your own book. Read further in, its going to be a great book. You don't have to help anyone understand you. you are not a riddle. keep digging, its not as lonely in there as you think.

September 27, 2009
6:19 pm
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learning2luvme
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I know its amazing I didnt even know what was wrong with me let alone that others felt the way I do. I am starting to see the things I need to work on but I still have alot of questions. One being do I share this information with my husband? I am not sure he will understand but yet I dont want to stun him with a sudden change. I did do something for me today that I thought would cause issues and to my surprise it was the complete opposite!! Great I am having a happy day I know everyday wont be this way but I am ready for whatever I have to do to be HEALTHY! Thank you to all that care! Keep your heads up!!Love Yourself!!!!

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