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Where Did U Meet Your Partner From Hell?
August 8, 2007
1:09 am
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fantas
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Lemoni, I am convinced that there could never been a Adolf Hitler in Gandhi, only a Adolf Hitler, mascarading as a Gandhi so as to lure people into his scheme.

August 8, 2007
1:22 am
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_anonymous
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taj64- you put a lot of thought into your responce. When it comes to a sociopath, everyone is a target-some are just jucier thatn others. No one is immune to a sociopath. To a socipath, every encounter is a potential opportunity for manipulation.

August 8, 2007
1:27 am
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_anonymous
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AQueen- It depends on the state I guess. Since sociopaths are dangerouse all victims should put safety first and escape. Some socipaths are capable of incredible violence including murder.

August 8, 2007
1:38 am
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_anonymous
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lemoni- The best way to deal with a sociopath is not to deal with him. Reject him. Cut him off. Have absolutely No contact. No contact means do not tlak to him on the phone. Do not send,open or reply to e-mail. No IM or text messages. No cards, letters or packages. And certainly do not see him.

Easier said than done.

If you've been snared by a soicopath, you may find that you have difficulty maintaining no contact. You may find yourself thinking about him and wanting to talk to him. Here are some of the reasons-& why they are not good reason.

Your still in love withy him. The person you loved never existed. It was an illusion created by the socipath to manipulate you. If you still have feelings for him, they are feelings for what you wanted him to be, not for what he is.

August 8, 2007
1:54 am
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lalasgirl
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i met him years ago. the one in the black leather so handsome standing there smiling at me. in a bar. he was the king in that bar...the ring leader the bad ass cool bad man.

red flag was he wore no ring. i thought he was single. he was not. but he wanted me to come out to meet his woman. she needed some friends...he handpicked me. i became a friend to them both...(no swinging no silly stuff) this woman was his slave basically. I thought she just wanted to act like that. he owned her. weird i thought...but they were an interesting couple as they were working with gemstones. had a cool farm and were always nice to me. i was always welcome to have coffee with them....come on out....enjoy the farm....be his old lady's friend. he trusted me & he handpicked me to be his old lady's girlfriend...the only one...hmmmmm? red flag...odd? or was i special????? LOL

he fled to the south. i missed him for eight years. never heard from him but then it happened. he was found and caught and expedited back to our home state. i went and saw him at the jail. he beat the rap and got out and came right to me. lived in my home immediately. he had no woman then he was free to be mine. he still wore that leather jacket i remembered...he still looked good to me. he quickly pushed for a wedding. out of jail in feb. asked me to marry him in march and we married in may.

FAST. (another big flag)...then he started to own me...pushing me...yelling...interrogating me...leaving me out in country to walk home. i became the slave...he punched me...and back he went back to jail after my jaw came unhinged by his hand. he got out and came back to me... we got back together...he did all the right things...a.a.; promise of anger management. but QUICKLY he pushed for us to leave our home state and head south....start our lives new and fresh....he brought me into my own personal hell. isolated me to only do his bidding be the old lady yep...we headed south and the marriage went to hell and burned up completely. and here i am ready to heal.

August 8, 2007
2:47 am
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chardy
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Hi all, what a great thread this is. Yesterday I posted what a weak and pathetic person I am. Well that is changing, I am taking back control of my life!

So much has been going on an I have been feeling quite ill (I suffer with ms)so often it has seemd easier to take him back. He says all the right things and promises to take care of me. But hey, if I didn't have all this stress going on I would be quite well. I am capable of taking care of myself.

I still have to swear and file the final divorce papers andI have been sitting on them for a couple of weeks, something holding me back? I think maybe I have become agrophobic. For nearly five years he has tried to stop me going anywhere and I have become arecluse.

Yesterday I called a good friend and explained about the divorce papers. I asked if she would come to the court with me tomorrow to file the papers and she is happy to do that.

Time for me to heal now and no more relationships at least until my self esteem is restored.

Take care

Chardy

August 8, 2007
6:56 am
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lemoni
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chardy, good for you. isn't it great!

August 8, 2007
11:30 am
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_anonymous
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lala- Just when I thought I heard it all then your story comes along. What a creep. It's not a good thing that a married man would be in a bar alone picking friends for his wife. Very dangerous. The physical abuse what he did to you was horrible. I am so glad you read the sociopath info. I pray for you to heal soon. You did not deserve any of his abuse.

August 8, 2007
11:48 am
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_anonymous
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Chardy- Filing divorce papers is nothing to look forward to. Having a friend come along should help. What kind of symptoms are you having now with your MS. I know fatigue must be one of them. When you have MS it is hard to know if it is your physical symptom or your emotional state that are bringing you down. I am happy to hear that you are moving onward and upward

August 8, 2007
12:01 pm
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AQueen
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These guys are all the same. After the first sign of violence you should leave. If you stay they know they have established a snese of fear and control and that you will be their victim for a them to abuse on a constant basis. Whenver you threaten to leave they put on the charming act and tell you everything you want to hear. To bad it's all lies. I've learned so much at my domestic violence support group.

I met this girl that is 21 and she is dating a 20 yr old guy that has started being abusive. He choked her in public last weekend and he beat the crap out of her 10lbs Maltese dog. How sick and pathetic is that. I told her that anything she cares about he will destroy because he is insanely jealous. She said he was jealous of the dog. I told her if you stay with him he'll kill your dog, happens all the time. I told her if she stays with him and she doesn't want the dog injured she would have to devalue the animal by ignoring it and keeping it in another room and never speak of the animal when he's around. He beat the animal with his fista and then tried to drown the dog. She is still with him. He doesn't live with her, he lives with his Mommy and she lives with her's. They are both drug addicts that aren't using right now but drink heavy. They are on the same treatment program I'm on, methadone for heroin addiction but she has serious codependency issues and I've noticed she always needs male attention to feel good about herself. He has insecurity and rage issues, he's classic abuser and he's only 20! He told her if she spent money on the dog to see a vet he would get very upset. I don't know where she lives but it's a pretty upscale part of town. I have her home number so I'm calling animal control to report abuse because failing to take a injured animal to the vet is classified as cruelty. I told her I would give her info today on domestic violence and a free drop in vet clinic for low income people. She doesn't work so she's qualify. I just want the animal to see a vet, he may have internal bleeding since he was punched with a closed fist and kicked with full force. What a coward and sick son of a bitch. I have never been with animal abuser and I never would. That's insane. People that abuse animals are very sick people that rarely recover. They often go on to kill or mame people. I told her to run but she's lonely. Dumb. They met at the treatment center, bad choice there. I told her the treatment center isn't a place to meet a mate. It's like looking for a new car in a junkyard. She has no life, that's her choice. She lives with her Mom because she doesn't work and can't support herself, again her choice. I told her life is all about choices and if you want a better life you must chose to change things. Get a job, go to school, meet new healthy people, find new hobbies, etc.I told her I can't engage in conversation with her about him anymore because unless she willing to live in the solution and not the problem then there is nothing to discuss. I will not be there to go oooh and ahhh about stories of abuse. I will not give her the attention she craves from telling these tales. She has told several people and I noticed she gets animated when talking about it, it energizes her and excites her. She craves chaos, she lives with her alcoholic mother and grew up in a very disfunction home. I told her she might think I'm mean and she might not understand why I don't let her complain complain about her guy but maybe one day she'll understand.
AQueen

August 8, 2007
2:04 pm
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_anonymous
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AQueen- I liked your saying that it was like looking for a new car in a junkyard. sounds like this couple was meant to be. Too damn bad about the dog. Let me know how that turns out. In my state they would get an animal cruelty ticket. You can call the police to. SICKOS. Her included.

August 9, 2007
11:02 am
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chardy
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Hi all, I filed my divorce papers at lastand it should all be over by mid October, whew. My friend came with me an it really wasn't that bad.

Destinystar, you asked about the ms, well fatigue is a biggie but when I get stressed and anxious then my balance goes haywire. I've fallen over and hurt myself quite badly twice in the last 6 weeks. I have had some major attacks but not for years. As ms goes I am very lucky most people with this are a lot worse than me. I just have to keep calm.

Thanks for caring.

Take care

Chardy

August 10, 2007
11:09 pm
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_anonymous
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chardy- what can you do to be safe so you dont fall? I am glad that you filed for divorce.

August 11, 2007
8:01 am
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chardy
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Hi Destinystar

All I can do is be careful.I have fallen on the stairs 3 times, cracked my ribs twice and broke a toe. I am extremely careful on stairs now,I come down them a lot faster than I go up, lol.

Thanks for caring

Chardy

August 11, 2007
9:25 pm
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_anonymous
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chardy- It would be best if you did not have to deal with stairs. Are you able to hold onto a rail if you use them. Is someone with you to stand behind you so you dont fall? It scares me to think of what could happen if you fell down stairs. Be careful. How did you first discover you had MS?

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