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When People Show You Who They Are In The Beginning............
November 16, 2006
11:50 am
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truthBtold
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BELIEVE THEM!!!!!!!!!

November 16, 2006
11:52 am
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soprano2
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And when they don't??????

November 16, 2006
11:53 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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You crack me up....I just want you to know that. I let you see the real me...I couldn't have been any more honest with you than I have been...that is who I am. Screwed up as it may be, at least you got the real picture...

November 16, 2006
11:54 am
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mamacinnamon
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and when they lie?????

November 16, 2006
11:55 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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mama....I miss you....

Mich

(((mama)))

November 16, 2006
12:10 pm
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truthBtold
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Doesn't matter when they lie......hopefully it won't ever get to that.....because - when they show you who they are at the beginning...believe them...(you will have hopefully nipped their stuff in the bud - and would have wisely just moved on........)

November 16, 2006
12:20 pm
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taj64
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Always pay attention to every detail at first. If you don't feel right about it, the trust that instinct right away. Don't dismiss it or hide it or compromise yourself in anyway. Stick to what you believe, not what in they are trying to make you believe. You will do better in the next chance meeting if you have had the experience and trust your own instincts above whatever you do know.

November 16, 2006
2:08 pm
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mamacinnamon
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I did feel right. I prayed, I had others pray, there was no sign of anything wrong. I didn't know and still cannot tell and never have been able to tell when he's high. Color me stupid I guess. I was at total peace and felt everything was ok.

I have stuck to what I believe and I think that is a major contention. He says he's quit now for 3 years but the distrust is there and I cannot shake it for some reason.

November 16, 2006
2:11 pm
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armyleo
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((((MamaCin)))) now it's my turn, holding you close.

November 16, 2006
7:18 pm
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thedogsmom
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mamacinnamon,
yes .. me too. I can't tell when my
husband is high or not either. I truly cannot. I look in his eyes. I just can't tell. His moods don't change. I only suspect when or if he stays up too late. When I met him.. he did announce that he had given up drugs and drinking. but when we talked about whether he ever had a problem with drugs or alcohol he said he did not. So I guess I should have questioned that more. Why announce or decide to quit if there wasn't a problem huH? actually I did take my time getting to know this man first and being friends before sexual partners etc.. but once the lies...start... it's just plain hard to trust again.
TDM

November 16, 2006
11:20 pm
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mamacinnamon
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thedogsmom:

Thank you, thank you. That is exactly how it happened. We talked and talked and talked. We covered any and all possible subjects. He told me he had NO problem w/ drugs and I believed him.

Take him at his word, yes? NOT! I'm not sayin you are wrong TBT but you cannot take a person at their word. You cannot even take them at their friends' words either for they all told me they were happy he had a good lady and blah blah and no there was nothing i should know he was a wonderful christian man. whew, long sentence and no i didn't punctuate or breath thru it. lol

I have to tell you tho. I could not tell and still to this day cannot tell if he is high. He knows what to do to cover it.... visene, fabreeze, i dont' know what all.

I have been searching for the answer to this question for 14 years. So I again repeat. How do you get the "I don't give a shit" attitude and not be so danged resentful and nto trusting of them.? Is it possible?

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