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When my blood pressure starts to rise...
February 20, 2006
12:33 pm
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artist 2
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I try to recite the serenity prayer. I really need to recite it right now...

What do you do when someone tells you they will do something and then don't?

How far do you let friends walk on you before cutting them loose?

February 20, 2006
6:25 pm
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exoticflower
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Artist, for me it's when my friends walk on me and I say it hurts and they contu\inue, no matter HOW far. We all make mistakes, it's not caring about them that I don't like in a friend.

I wish you tons of serenity!!! Good luck!

February 27, 2006
3:50 am
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zinnia
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The ones that get me are tne "nicey nices", yuou know: they say "yes" to everything and never follow through and act like you were stupid to have expected them to say "no" and be honest instead of going ahead and doing something they did not really want.

They leave me unable to trust "nice" people!

So I end up hanging around people who are NOT nice, and that is even worse!

What do I do? I give up. I cultivate solitary habits and talk to my cats.

My cat, at least, are honest.

February 27, 2006
12:18 pm
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artist 2
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Ii talk to my cat too! I need two more...

Yes, I know someone like that at church. All smiley and friendly to my face. Sure, I'll give you a call. Never does. I even called her once, and she never called me back. That's just RUDE.

February 27, 2006
12:31 pm
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whidbey
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Ugh, Art-2, I pretty much cut those people out of my life, if they've proven themselves not to be trustworthy. Life is just too short, you know? I agree that everyone needs to be given a little leeway, 'cause we all make mistakes; however, when it's over and over, it just gets old. I've decided not to clutter up my life with people like that any longer. I have my true-blue friends, some good family, and my two cats and greyhound. That's all I need... 🙂

February 27, 2006
12:34 pm
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mj
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When I feel physically upset, I know that I am reacting to some stimuli. My first effort is to try to calm down so I can think reasonably. Reciting the Serenity Prayer is a great way! What is Serenity? It is that place inside where I am calm. So how can I calm myself. I can breathe deeply. I can read mediations. I can talk to a caring friend. I can go for a walk. I can look at the beautiful flowers! I can watch my cats relaxing. I can pray for guidance and strength. I can choose whatever tool that works to get me into the Serene state. My HP grants me the serenity! then I can move on and accept! Accept What? Accept myself. Accept my loved ones. Accept my neighbors! Accept my life as it is. Acceptance of the all the people, places, things, I cannot change. Acceptance isn't ignoring reality. It is accepting Reality for what it is. It is accepting that I am powerless but accepting. I feel small in comparison to the Universe. I also feel at one with all. By this time, I am beginning to feel Calm. The next part is Courage. Courage to change ME. Courage to change my behaviors, attitudes, actions, being responsible for my choices. Courage to look squarely at my life and choices and knowing that I am where I am suppose to be in the Great Scheme of Life. I know that Life is Grand. I know that my HP is guiding me and giving me strength to accomplish what I need to be.

February 27, 2006
12:37 pm
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artist 2
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Wow, MJ - that's truly good work you've done. I wish I were that far along! I do love knowing the only thing I can really change is inside of me. What a relief!

Just laying and resting and watching my cat hanging out is a great centering tool for me.

February 27, 2006
1:07 pm
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mj
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As far as the original question....
A true friend will not walk on you.

Being true to yourself means not laying down so someone can trod on you. Recently in a book called "Boundaries" I learned alot about taking care of myself. Setting limits not to punish but for my benefit. Today I had an opportunity to put into practice this. A friend sent me an email and asked if her Dec. gift certificate could be applied to her order. She's a friend. I love her dearly. On the gift certificate it stated in black and white that it expired on Dec. 24th. I could have made an exception as I have done in the past but I know that I have more self respect when I take care of myself! I wrote her back and said "No" it expired Dec. 24th. It felt good to be true to myself. She may have to deal with my boundary of self care but that is her business not mine. Practice makes it easier to set limits. Loving Oneself helps us to Love Others!

February 27, 2006
6:50 pm
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zinnia
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mj, so true!

We have to practice "tough love" with ourselves and our friends.

I say to people, "I won't be offended if you say no" and then they have no excuse, because in my line of work I have to "get permission" before proceeding with something, and I have lost a lot of $$ and time in the past because of people who said "yes" when I asked, and then said they never intended me to do all the work and claimed they were just being "nice"!

They characterize people like me as "blunt" and "insensitive" but look at the losses they cause with their hypocrisy!

I am happy with the few friends I have. I am a natural "solitary" and my friends are, too.

February 27, 2006
7:36 pm
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mj
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How can not following through be considered nice???? When I say yes, that's what I mean. It pays to be selective in friendships Zinnia!

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