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when is the right time
September 16, 2003
2:59 pm
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confusediam
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ok, the nude behavior is wrong, so tell me, when would be the right time to leave? I have also caught him on tape in front of children, so if he fights, i have evidence. i am so whimpy tho, he will be so hurt, and it is so hard to do this.

September 16, 2003
3:23 pm
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Ladeska
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EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He did what in front of children????????? Um not that I'm surprised here or anything, was wondering what other things were lurking in the packaged deal.

Uh...right time??? I think yesterday would have been a good time, or the day before that or before that and DEFINITELY NOW!! I think there is alot here that you're really not saying and "yes" I can read between the lines. HE will be hurt???? Oh poor, poor baby boy!!!

I think he's a sick puppy and the last thing you need to worry about is how he's going to feel about squat! Do you really need me or anyone else to tell you - what you have to do here? In your gut, in your heart, you know what you are looking at, what you have put up with and allowed for far too long.

Today is a new day, new ballgame. Who cares if someone gets a rash over the surprise of it all! They can just get over it like you've had to get over and stuff alot of things in your own life here. Take care of YOU and yours. Time for boundaries, for decisive action and no time for going back and forth like a yo-yo. Say what you mean and mean what you say and hold the lines very, very firm. I'm so sure he will whine.......let him.

September 16, 2003
3:32 pm
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unhappy camper
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How have you tried to handle this so far? Have you asked him to get dressed? Do you complain about it?

What children and how old?

Yikes.... does he 'get off' doing it? Or is it a nudist colony type of attitude. Did he do this from day one?

Lots of questions...

September 16, 2003
4:31 pm
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confusediam
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Yes i have complained, and i left him last year for a day or two, but when i came back to the house, i took his call and talked to him and came back. It is so hard to hurt someone. I once accused him of being gay, but he don't have any behaviors that way. For years we didn't have "normal sex" all was done by hand. He has no urge to do it, says feels better by hand.
I met someone on the net and really liked him, and met him, we were going to be together, but I couldn't leave. I am now talking to him again and he is to me. He would be there for me I suppose, but it just seems like throwing 20 years down the drain. I am trying one last time to have our son and me and him sit down and take all the clothes out and throw them in the floor, and state, this or us, can't do both any more, ever. or we walk away for good. Does this sound like a step forward? Please be kind, I know it is a weird situation, this is the only place I have had any one elses opinion, I thank God for you all and your input here. Thanks !

September 16, 2003
4:59 pm
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unhappy camper
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It sounds like he won't change, at least not on his own. You can ask if he is willing to go to a counselor. Does he feel bad about it and would he want to stop?

It seems he is just that way. You are unhappy and I feel sorry for your son.

If you love him you can invest more time and effort trying to correct this. When you have come to the end of the road you have to make the final decision.

Not to sound facetious, but that may be the last you "see" of him...

September 23, 2003
4:36 pm
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DC Chaos
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A counselor is a good idea. He sounds like he isn't dealing with something in his life. The only thing with a counselor is that you can't force him to go. If he wont go, you should. A trained professional is always a good idea.

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