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when does a woman reach sexual peak??
January 15, 2002
1:45 pm
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amfites
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When is this going to happen to me? I love my husband & he's HOT but he acts like his ding dong will fall off if he doesn't use it everyday. Do men just want it more than women?

January 15, 2002
2:45 pm
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scherza
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It has been my experience that sex is a communication mode. Just like talking, it can go well and there is a mutual sharing of conversation or one person can dominate the other...or use it for violence or power struggling or whatever is going on between the people having sex.

I reach my sexual peak when my husband adores me and makes me supper and gives me a body massage after a long hellish day at work. He'll pour me a nice glass of wine and rub my shoulders and we will just sit on the sofa and talk. Suddenly, I realize who I married and he is right there...as kissable as can be. Even with utter physical exhaustion, I have sometimes been able to find the energy to make love to him...in a way that is satisfying to us both. Sometimes this includes a full-blown multiorgasmic experience...sometimes it is just being close and hugging and kissing and sleeping in each other's arms.

My husband says he is "always ready to go." I am not. Sometimes I need coaxing and sometimes that doesn't even work. But how he cares about me and communicates that to me certainly makes me "ready to go" when I do recover from exhaustion...sometimes at 4am...! The fact that he just wants to be with me even if I just want to sleep is sexy. He'll rub my head while reading a book he is enjoying. He is secure enough in himself that, if I am "too tired," he doesn't make it mean more than that...and he doesn't need to dominate me with any copulatory demands.

I think that nothing turns a woman on more that being loved and cared about...on a global basis...not just when he is hot.

I used to think that there was no such thing as men out there that really cared about anything other than their own needs and desires...co-opting women as the servants to their whims. Then I met my husband...and got to know and get reacquainted with my own father who I hadn't known in two and a half decades.... Then I started seeing more men around me that were sensitive and caring...and I lost my prejudgements.... They aren't as different from us as I thought, actually.

January 15, 2002
3:15 pm
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amfites
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Your husband sounds like a nice guy. My husband showers me with affection & compliments but I feel like he expects sex in return. I love sex but once a week would be fine for me.

January 15, 2002
3:34 pm
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Molly
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Women are so much more psychological than physical I really do believe it. Ususally after the fear of getting pregnant, a secure nest, security, and absence of anger, stress, exhaustion, fear..........or medication.... Like I think I peaked in my 30's..... We used to do it every morning and night, and sometimes just as he was walking out the door, just because.... Then like sheraza suggested, nothing like that good ole middle of the night married sex, a close snuggle and opps there it is.... Needless to say due to medical conditions, I am damn lucky to get it now and then and its really hard opps pardon the pun, hard on him, and so my drive has shut down, that is why it is so important to have all those other aspects in your relationship for when the flag doesn't fly, har har har. We are all different.

January 15, 2002
3:49 pm
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scherza
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Oooh. That feeling of expectation can be exhausting...and elicit performance anxiety! It sounds like a chore...like vaccuuming the carpets or getting groceries. Affection and compliments are not love and adoration...but they can be expressions of such...or not. You all need to say how you feel and really listen to each other...a lot! Not just for a day. It sounds like you and he can both become pretty frustrated.

On the physical level and according to Masters and Johnson, there actually IS a period of biologic sexual peak for men and women. For men, it is about 18-22. For women, it is about 28-32. Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder, as well. Also, at about 40, some women can "get hot" because their biologic alarm clock is about to go off. After the climacteric of menopause, amorousness can return as well...because of loss of fear of pregnancy...but the vagina gets dry due to loss of estrogen...so bring the KY to the bedside! 🙂

Don't know how old you are...I am guessing in your 20s...but can't be sure. Sex doesn't have to be over with until you die and it is a life affirming thing, when it is done in a way that nurtures the soul. You know what you need to nurture your soul. You can enjoy it at 92 with a same sex partner, if this nurtures you at that age! 🙂

I have heard of women not "being in the mood" but starting sex anyway...and eventually having really great and enjoyable sex in the end. I do this sometimes...with the understanding that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do...and I can always stop whenever I want to. So can he.

If compromising is possible...and you all need to talk about and decide this for yourselves, you should try it. For example, you could make it twice a week...and he could wait for it. (This means no Rocking with Rosie in the shower, either!) Sex would have a greater more enjoyable release for him, if he can "go without" for a few days...and he would be getting twice as much sex as he has been getting. You could get to enjoy being loved without the feverish demand for climax always being there...which COULD turn you on more in the end....

The more you both communicate, though, the more your sexual rhythms will align....

There are couples out there that communicate well and NEVER align sexually and their agreement with each other alters so that the needs of each person can be met. For example, alternative lifestyles: I know a woman that loves a woman and a man....and their is no cheating going on because everyone was knowledgable about the situation before it developed. This woman is a well-known researcher. Very brillant mind...and a huge sex drive. Her husband is 15 years older than her...and she is now in her 50s.... This is their agreement with each other...and they have made it work happily for many years.

Create your life the way you want it to look! It's YOUR life! Enjoy it as much as you can.

Gosh. I feel like Dr. Ruth Westhiemer...now that, my friend, is Scherza's latest word on "Good Sex!"

January 16, 2002
12:03 pm
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gypsygirl
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when she finds a good partner!

January 16, 2002
5:34 pm
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Ladeska
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Last tally I did, while walking down main street here and just asking people - most women said generally said - "there's a Peak time?"

So, with that in mind...guess that's why men needed Viagra so bad, huh?

Must be something up with the thing of "hey, baby, bend over, got something for ya" as opposed to - real lovemaking and "love" actually - being in the equation.

Most of the time women "peak out" at whatever age because - the men who are supposed to Wow us - could care less. They just want to be serviced and that's about it. Gee, I wonder why women wouldn't be turned by that....? Such a mystery, isn't it?

January 16, 2002
6:11 pm
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gypsygirl
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ok I have to post this email since you all brought up the viarga thing. Damaged sent it to me

Pfizer Corp. (NYSE PFE) is making the announcement today that VIAGRA
will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi
Cola (Pepsi Bottling Group NYSE PBG) as a power beverage suitable for
use as-is, or as a mixer, under the name "Mount And Do".

**********

The boss of a small company called a spontaneous staff meeting in the
middle of a particularly stressful week. When everyone gathered, the
employer, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out
staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest, whose
theme was "Viagra Advertising Slogans".

Dividing into 10 groups of three, the only rule was they had to use past
ad slogans that captured the essence of Viagra. About 7 minutes later,
they turned in their suggestions and created a "Top Ten List". After
all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well
for everyone.

10) Viagra, it's Whaazzzzz Up!
9) Viagra, The Quicker Pecker Upper
8) Viagra, Like A Rock!
7) Viagra, When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be There Tonight.
6) Viagra, Be All That You Can Be
5) Viagra, Reach Out And Touch Someone
4) Viagra, Strong Enough For A [Woman], But Made For A [Man].
3) Viagra, Tastes Great!.....More Filling!
2) Viagra, We Bring Good Things To Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1) This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs.

January 16, 2002
7:57 pm
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Molly
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That was funny, and Blondie, you can call it mr happy cuz its only 27, its still happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 17, 2002
12:52 am
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damaged
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Why do men give thier penises nick names?

Because thay don't want a complet stanger doing all of their thinking for them.

January 17, 2002
10:32 am
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Pita
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Hi, Good question. For me I very sexually active since I was 15 years old, I didn't orgasm untill I was about 28 years old ( I had learned how to fake, and I would lie). Likewise I don't know if that is the norm with "normal people" but all of my abused friends report the same late 20's/ early 30's. Hope that helps you.

January 17, 2002
10:46 am
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gypsygirl
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Hmm how do you fake it if you had nothing to base the fake on? Just cuirous.

I was abused also. I first willingly had sex at 16 and a half, I had my first orgasm about six months later. and since then it has been "LOOK OUT WORLD"

January 17, 2002
1:29 pm
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amfites
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I've always had orgasms & I don't think I could fake one if I tried. I'm too selfish. The orgasm isn't why I have sex though. I love the closeness I feel when I'm with my husband. The orgasm is just a plus! Is there really a peak time or does it just get better with age & experience?

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