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what's your take on * ex's being present *
August 3, 2004
3:19 pm
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balancesekr
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I just got an e-mail from an ex of mine who I bumped into (2) years ago, I gave my e-mail to him figuring it's pretty harmless and I don't always respond.

Here's my question... the ex mass e-mailed all the people he knows to invite them to a show (he's another musician!) I noticed in the addresses the names of girls that I know he either had sex with or dated.

In my opinion I think that's gross. I am against hanging around ex's. My relationship which just ended, he had ex's at his gigs, at family parties because his parents remained friends with his ex's parents, one of his ex's works at the same bar he gigs at... so this definitely affected me and our relationship, his lack of ability or desire to change these circumstances really made me think twice about him and has a large to do in why I couldn't go to the next level, he just wanted me to accept it.

So am I unhealthy thinking that ex's are toxic to have around... one may say, it's the past and get over it, me I think they shouldn't be around. What do you all think?

Balance

August 3, 2004
3:36 pm
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babysteps
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Go with your gut, Balance. It's not unhealthy to feel as though there are people "toxic" to you, especially since you've seen so many flags. I always say that ex's are ex's for a reason; for me, it just seems to get me into emotional trouble when I hang out/ talk with ex's. Ya know?

Baby Steps

August 3, 2004
4:02 pm
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workinonit
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Balance, I am more like you in that I have a hard time with this. Especially the last because I love him still.

But, as a rule? I don't feel it has to be a problem. Just because it is for me does not mean I expect it to be for everyone. That's something I think would be great but I haven't found it a possibility at all for me.

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